Is DH wrong to say this about SS13 half sister??
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BM had a daughter before she met DH who is SS13 half sister. SS13 sees his half sister offen and gets along with her fine. This BM's daughter is 19 and been a handful since she was a pre teen. Drugs, stealing and flunked out of school. Now SS13 is goofing off in school and getting bad grades. DH told SS13 he's acting like his sister and that SS does not want to end up like her so he better start paying attention in class. Should DH being saying this to SS13? Now SS13 knows DH does not like his half sister. DH thinks this will smarten SS up but I'm not sure.. Thoughts
I don't know.. he won't be
I don't know.. he won't be the first parent to point out another kid down the wrong path to try to get their kid in line... not sure if it will work.. depends on how comitted your SS is to being a waste case.
I wouldnt mention SS
Its not a good idea to express emotional feelings about any of BM's family, imo. I make the difference between factual remarks and emotional ones.
DH can make his point without discussing the step-sister. But I do understand where he is coming from, righteous anger and trying to make his point forcefully.
It seems like even innocuous remarks we make about BM and her family are turned against us.
I think it's a lazy approach,
I think it's a lazy approach, unless SS has shared some reason why he thinks his sister is a loser and there is some history there that makes your DH think insulting her will motivate SS. To me, it sounds like the parent who points at a cashier at McDonald's and says "that's where you'll end up if you don't get good grades!" If the kid thinks being a cashier is cool, or knows thr cashier has a Master's Degree and has just fallen on hard times, it doesn't really have the intended impact. But, it certainly teaches the kid that it's better to point out someone else's difficulties and compare themselves to others versus be the best version of themselves they can be and do their best for their own pride.
Those are the facts. If I
Those are the facts. If I were your DH I would be hip deep in reviewing the elder 1/2 sisters issues in detail with his son as an example of what not to do.