Dh is thinking about moving about with ss12
I had a feeling this going to happen. Ss12 is having a real hard time being around Bs14 and Dd14. Whenever they enter a room, he gets very uncomfortable, and his eyes always fill with tears. Last night, I was making dinner, usually ss12 will offer to help-it's kind of our thing, so I decided to take one of the commenters advice about having them work together in order for them to bond. They second they walked into the kitchen, he started panicking. He did try to calm himself, his therapist taught him a coping technique, where he shuts his eyes, takes a few deep breaths, counts to 10 and opens them, then he reassess the situation, but this time he started started crying!
Dh made it clear since he found out that Bs14 and Dd 14 were bullying him at school, that he does not want them to be around ss12 alone, but he did agree to this. He hears ss crying from the living room, and takes him back to his room to try and calm him down. Even at dinner, ss moved his chair closer to dh. Dh kept is interactions with Bs and Dd as civil as possible (he has disenaged from them), but he was more open with ss12 and dd4. I think Bs and Dd noticed it.
As for punishment for bullying ss12 (which lead to him trying to commit sucide), they lost their cellphones labtops, gaming consoles indefinitely, are no longer allowed to hang out with friends on the weekends, at school is fine, but that's it (after school they are to be out and waiting exactly 5 minutes after the bell rings). On Fridays after school, Saturdays, and Sundays, they are going to be volunteering at the local youth center, and I found a bullying seminar that I found out about, which I signed them up for. They did protest, and I told them protesting will only make this worse. They are only allowed to use the computer (in the family room), for homework purposes only(I will be moniotoring it). As for chores, their lists have been doubled (any protest or failure to complete, will only result in adding more to the list). I did have a conversation to with them about how what they did affected the whole family, and how dh is acting towards them is one of the consequences of their actions; they seemed to understand.
After the whole incident in the kitchen, dh and I talked and he told me that he's thinking about renting a 2 bedroom apartment, for him and ss12. His therapist advised dh, that based on some of their discussions, ss does not feel save in the house , and seeing Bs and Dd at home AND at school, is not in his best interest. Dh needs some distance from them too. What am I suppoosed to say to that?? I told him if he has to move out, I'll support it - Am I having troubles wrapping my mind around ? yes, but if it's for everyoone best interest, it should be okay, but I'm still worried.