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Daddy issues

RogueRanger's picture

So, has anyone else found that the BM they’re dealing with has the most transparent Freudian type of issues imaginable (I know, I know, how’s that Psych 101 class working out for me? lol). But does anyone else find they are smacking themselves in the head like, “Really, BM, you aren’t at all aware that these are YOUR issues you’re pushing onto your child?”

For example, BM tells SS7 his dad left him, didn’t want him, etc. Tried to text FDH to ask if SS would be sharing a room with our new baby because he (she) wouldn’t want him to have to share a room with “It,” as she so lovingly refers to my unborn son (And the answer is absolutely not, BM, as I won’t so much as entertain the idea of my new baby sharing quarters with your hellion, not that it’s your business what we do here). We are of course waiting for her to start telling SS that his dad replaced him with the new baby and that it’s not “really” his brother when he arrives.

Here’s BM’s immediate family history according to her ex-husband (blech), my FDH:
BM’s real father supposedly walked out on BM’s mother, BM, and BM’s older sister (though FDH has raised questions about whether he was essentially PAS-ed away by her mother). This man has children that are just a few years younger than BM. FDH told me one of these children, a younger sister, tried to contact BM and have a relationship with her- after everyone involved was grown so not kids- but according to BM “that’s not really my sister.” And, according to BM, her father “left her” and is a “sperm donor,” sentiments she tries to pass onto SS about FDH. BM’s mother remarried and had another daughter with the new husband. While this half-sibling apparently is considered by BM to be her sister (while the other one was apparently not) FDH told me how crazy jealous BM always was of the youngest sister as step-daddy loved his own daughter more.

I found this funny because while FDH and I were discussing how transparent BM’s issues were and that he’s scared to death SS will end up like her, FDH pointed out that, ironically, all of the divorced/separated mothers he knew that were causing issues for their kids had a background that fell somewhere along these lines. I realized the same.

So is there some anomaly going on in our corner of the world or have others noticed this, too?
And how the hell can this woman not realize that she’s trying to create a carbon copy of her own screwed up childhood with her son? And why would someone be so selfish as to be the catalyst for their child to deal with this kind of pain and issues rather than wanting to protect them from it? Most importantly, how do we protect SS from this, because I imagine this crap has tons to do with his bad behavior? And why the hell don’t the courts force people with issues this obvious to get counseling when it’s so clearly hurting the child and causing problems for the other parent (I know, yeah right, but in a perfect world…)