Is this Crazy messed up or what????
First of all I want to say how much I HATE family court and all those involved. DH just got his joint custody taken away from his youngest twins basically due to the fact he won’t turn a blind eye to his oldest sons Delinquent RUDE behavior. Up until now DH had shared legal joint custody with BM of his three children. Two 10 yr old twins and 16 yr old son. The two twins are Tolerable but the older son is a total ungrateful brat. From the time he was in middle school he was stealing from us, Unbelievably rude and disrespectful to both me and DH and would try and turn the “twins” against us. When oldest SS was 14 he lied about something that caused DH to get a restraining order( unfounded) and caused the twins to not want to come over for months due to SS’s lies. DH and I had enough and said older SS could not come back till he agreed to our rules and had to pay back some of the money he stole from us. Reasonable right? WRONG BM Flipped a nut and Accused us of lying about the stealing even though SS had hundreds of dollars of new clothes/electronics that he could not explain where he got the money to buy these things. So BM backed SS. Of course. Since DH was not willing to forget everything BM dragged him back to court to get full custody of the twins. BM did this To try and get DH to back down regarding older SS. Sorta like you can’t have one without the other. You want the twins you have to take older SS too. So one would think the court would think DH was being fair in what he is asking. WRONG. The judge/law Guardian made DH out to be the monster for turning his back on his young son and the rules DH had for older SS to come back were Ridiculous. So DH lost his joint legal custody of the twins. From what I heard it’s very difficult to get full legal custody when there is legal joint custody order in place BUT BM got it. DH gets 40/60 visitation and can attend child appointments but has no say like he use to. I am just Amazed how screwed up the family court system is! Yes I know the court is ALWAYS going to put the kids first and screw the adults but this just seems so crazy! Is this the normal? No matter what the brats do they can have no Consequences as far as the court sees????
I get it. The morons in the
I get it. The morons in the black robes often seem to come from the bottom 10%ers of the legal profession. The Harry Potter robed and Fisher-Price wooden hammer wielding morons piss me off to no end.
Even when we have won in court they do shit that is beyond stupid.
I have to disagree with you on your premise that they do what is best for the children. It is never best for a child to have the court interfere in the actions of reasonable and committed parent. It is never in the best interests of a child for a manipulative toxic parent to have any say in a child's life.
Sadly, the black robed morons are rarely held accountable for stupid rulings. IMHO they should be subject to severe civil penalties for stupid rulings. If their personal financial security was on the line with each ruling they would in all likelihood be less inclined to do stupid shit.
I am sorry your DH was victimized by one of the bottom 10%ers and even sorrier that the kids were.
It's not hard at all for
It's not hard at all for women to get whatever they want in court, if they are fantastic actresses and liars, and if their kids will back up their lies.
Well, the good news is that DH no longer has to have SS over if he doesn't have joint custody - that makes him the Non-Custodial parent with visitation, and he no longer has to see the kids at all if he doesn't want to. He can have the twins his 40% and let older SS stay with Mommie Dearest.
Though if I were him, I'd take the twins every other weekend for a while, maybe even for just one night, so BM can reap what she's sown with her lies and have the kids all to herself most of the time. Sounds like she's the type to be begging him to take them more after a while, as long as she has control over everything.
I TOTALLY agree with you
The only reason BM filed for full custody is she thought that would “scare” DH into doing what she wanted. Take older SS back and forget everything happened. Well DH did not (thanks to me) and now BM is stuck with all three. Honestly if it was not for me her plan would have worked as DH is ball less when it comes to his brats. Total Disney dad 100 percent. I wish DH would take the twins just every other weekend as that would drive BM crazy. BM wants TOTAL control over the kids but none of the responsibility. Before DH started standing up to BM she was always calling wanting to dump the twins on him as she could not handle them. When they were little AFTER their divorce DH still went over in the morning to help get the kids ready for school as BM could not do it on her own. But when DH had all three she never went over to help him and he was single too at the time. The fact all three are Monsters BM must be going insane. Unfortunately like I said DH is a Disney dad so he would NEVER give up seeing his kids for less time. I wish he would as that would push BM into the nit house fore sure
Sorry this happened
Im assuming you are in new jersey?
Court here sucks on the left coast as well. But at least we dont have a BM who wants MORE custody - then she couldnt date, mess around with multiple dudes.
Many times BM has had issues with her eldest and comes to DH, who said "you two have to work it out". Its her chickens flying home to roost..in other words. Its sad that it resulted in the two having to spend more time with crazy. I prefer munchkin spend more time with us, to get away from toxic, but thats not going to happen any time soon, as far as I can see.