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Can we just talk through the lawyer?

newmommy05's picture

Submitted by newmommy05 on Tue, 10/02/2018 - 8:17pm

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General Discussion

Bm is getting served this week with the custody amanedment. She was verbally agreeable that SS14 comes to live with us in the summer but since then has been trying to guilt SS into going back to her. We are 9 hrs away so even if he were to go back it wouldnt be immediate. 

Bm hates me and thinks im too strict on her precious son. So she doesnt talk to me ever and tells DH to grow some balls and stand up to me. Its ridoculous. Anyways since there is now a lawyer working on our behalf, can DH finally stop talking to her? Ss is 14 and has a phone that he uses to text and call BM.  I know when she gets the documents she will throw a fit.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Tue, 10/02/2018 - 9:13pm

I would absolutely talk through the lawyer as much as possible! There may still be times your DH will need to talk to BM though. 

We were in this exact situation though, constant criticism from BM, she hates me just for being alive, etc. We had it put into the Custody agreement that my SO and BM only communicate through the Family Wizard app (not skids phone!), which is awesome. It really limits the communication and helps deter HCBM’s from messaging just to cause conflict. Our BM went from constant texting/calling to cause drama, to maybe 2-3 messages a month on Our family wizard. It’s a court-recorded app, so the courts can go in and look at the communication if needed. Highly recommend asking your lawyer to add it in the custody agreement! 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 10/03/2018 - 5:24am

If you talk through an attorney, you will rack up charges pretty quickly.  And 14 isn't old enough to stop talking to the other parent, or you risk putting SS in the middle of it all.

Use Our Family Wizard or something like that. And why are you the one parenting SS14 and not DH? That would take you right out of the middle of everything.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 10/03/2018 - 10:06am

Only use the lawyer to bring the pain and smack her around in court.  It gets spendy to engage your lawyer for every little back and forth with the toxic opposition.

There are recognized web sites for interface with the toxic blended family opposition. Petition the court to order one of those as the communication conduit.

Good luck.