Calling parents of teens or adult kids...losing my mind
Ok I’m sure this Has been asked before but I’m asking again.
SS is SUPER clingy, Super needy, SUPER Possessive of DH. Has no real interest in friends and would rather follow “daddy” around wanting to be entertained. SS will have a complete level ten meltdown if DH has to miss ONE evening with SS for whatever reason. SS has a smart 32in TV with PS4 since Christmas and never ONCE watched it. Not to mention Hundreds of dollars of toys, electronics never played with. I asked SS why he never hangs out in his room. His answer in a whinny voice he wants to hang out with his dad.
Now SS is 13 NOT 5. Yes I know DH is part or mostly to Blame and that’s NOT going to change. Yes I’ve talked/yelled till I was blue in the face. If a change is going to happen it’s got to come from SS
So here is my questions...one what is the NORMAL age BOYS get to when they don’t need or want daddy 24/7? What is around the age they become Interested in girls?
13 is long past old enough
13 is long past old enough cut his umbilical with daddy. I would be the one to fix this if I was you. I would limit clingy daddy time to a specific schedule and if it is not to schedule then he is not allowed near daddy. There is no way a marriage can thrive with this kind of kid worshipping coddling crap going on.
So don't tolerate it. On all non schedule daddy umbilical cord time, "I don't care where you go, but it will not be anywhere near my husband. Try your room to play with your PS-4."
I can't imagine having to deal with this and more than that, I can't imagine that daddy has not dealt with this already.
My ex step son is now twenty
My ex step son is now twenty one. He took this to the next level. Admittedly he did have some friends (who were also my ex husbands friends, part of the same rugby group) he decided to have the exact same job (without the qualifications put in, apparently you can have any job on social media these days) and even interviews the same clients etc. He was a mini me of my ex. Made me want to vomit to be honest. His daughter was a mini me of all my in laws and her mother (even worse) blurggh
I'm wondering - if we all say
I'm wondering - if we all say it's not normal, what will that get you? Will it convince DH to parent differently? Will it make you feel better that others agree with you?
Not all kids are "normal", whatever that means. Some kids are very social and others are not. He may have some anxiety or other developmental issues, or he may just feel like 4 days a month with his father isn't enough. You've already acknowledged that DH is part of the problem here.
The real question is, what do you plan to do? You don't think DH will change, and you can't make SS "normal". So you are hoping that we will all say, "don't worry, by 16 he will be totally out of your hair!" None of us can tell you that.
Chances are good this is a kid who will struggle with growing up and separating from his parents, maybe even being very dependent for years. If that's the case, are you willing to stay anyway? If we could tell you nothing will change in 5 years, would you leave?
Just things to think about.
Your DH is not parenting his DS
This will never change. Just hope SS figures out about girls, That your only changes
Around ages 9, 10 you start
Around ages 9, 10 you start notice a normal shift from wanting OR needing to be around mom and dad, to my parents are kinda weird, I would rather hang out with my friends. . It takes flight during puberty.
Not all kids are the same. Cant over look underlying mental health issues in kids OR mental health problems whether checked or unchecked with the parent.
Look at entire picture.