Another one Struggling
I'm new here and have read some very harrowing tales to say the least. My problems with my skids actually seem quite mild in comparison but I am still finding it hard to cope.
I have SD17 and SD 9. I have lived with their BM for 4 years and the kids stay with us 4 days a week. They have both been quite accepting of me I think and can see I help their mum out. SD17 is quite well behaved and probably quite good compared to other girls her age. SD9, on the other hand, has a difficult personality and is rude, very impatient, agressive and prone to tantrums.
I find I can't relate to either child, can't relax and enjoy a joke, conversation or banter as I would with my biological neices and nephews around the same age. I haven't grown to love them or develop any kind of bond. It hasn't got any better in 4 years and I am finding that I am almost always stressed or irritated when they are around(especially SD9) and find myself very easily annoyed over things like them making a mess around the house and being rude to their mum etc. I find myself avoiding them whenever possible. BM admits and agrees that SD9 is difficult and irritating so I dont' think I am overy intolerant.
I was probably quite naive but I thought that being nice to these kids would be enough and that everything would be great. I was wrong and this is a stressful way to live and I have become the grumpy step father that noone wants to be.
Sorry guys I know it could be much worse but these kids stress me out and I dont have a lot of hope for anything getting better.