You are here article about how to include skids in wedding... oppinions?

snowdrop's picture

Personally, I'm outraged by the "advice" she was given.

What do you all think?????

RedWingsFan's picture

BLECH is what I think. If only it could all just be sunshine and roses, right? HA!

sbm014's picture

Whoever wrote that advice obviously has never been a stepmother. I personally include my SS into almost everything including date nights but there has to be a time when we have adult date nights, that we have our special moments. Next are they going to say let SK sleep in bed so they don't gel alone?

I say make you SK feel a part but it is about the HUSBAND AND WIFE and their connection not the child.

As a SD I was a bridesmaid as I was older when my dad remarried but it was about them not me or my brother, or not step brother, and we were all okay with that. I knew I would have my day and that was enough. That little girl will one day have her wedding and I promise won't want to share.

msg1986's picture

Are you effing serious? I almost choked on my food when I read this, they are suggesting this soon to be step mom get over herself? She is marrying the childs father not both of them. Wow. FDH and I were planning a wedding at the end of the year and everyone kept suggesting that we include Fss in the ceremony so much so that FDH mom even suggested our vows should include him in some way, it was very irritating. Fortunately we've actually cancelled the big because I couldnt' deal with all the drama anymore and FDH decided to just go out of town on our own for a week and get married on our own.

Crazy_in_Ohio's picture

Gosh I must be a real a$$hole. When I married my exhusband (second one for me) my OWN son sat with his grandparents during our reception.

He walked me down the aisle with my dad, and after we exchanged rings, my ex gave him some dog tags that he had engraved just for him to include him in the ceremony (my exes idea) - but during the reception he hung out with his grandparents and he was just fine.

next thing you know they'll be encouraging you to keep them with you during the wedding night.

BLECH is right.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Right!? I mean, come on, you selfish lady. You are marrying a FAMILY! SD should get to sit on her Daddy's lap during the reception and have the first dance with him since she came before you! And on your wedding night, she can sleep between you because, after all, you married everyone.

That is ridiuclous.

Shaman29's picture

The person that gave that advice should be beaten with a sackful of doorknobs.

The wedding is about the Bride and the Groom. They are marrying each other, not the kids. The kids are along for the ride.

Obviously not a stepparent.

round2's picture

DH and I got married about three months ago - we let DD9 and SD8 have small bouquets and sit on the front row with their grandparents. He wanted the whole flower girl thing and I said - hell no! I am not having my own kid be a flower girl, your is not either.

We (I) ended up compromising and let them hold our wedding rings and when the preacher asked for them they brought them up to us. Sigh, how stupid.

Unfreakingreal's picture

All our kids were in our wedding with the exception of SD. Youngest BS walked down the aisle alone and held the rings he was 11 at the time.
SS, and my 2 older Bio's were groomsmen.
SD was supposed to be the flower girl but BM took her out of the country precisely on our wedding weekend so she couldn't be the flowergirl.
The kids felt good to be a part of the wedding and I wouldn't have done it differently. I am HAPPY SD wasn't there though, she would have made it ALL ABOUT HER.

Convulsive's picture

That magazine is selling a fantasy, thats all. Look at the rings, dresses, destination weddings & billion dollar floral arrangements... Cute but not real.

christinen's picture

OMG. Yeah obviously the woman who wrote that is not a stepmother LOL! It made me sick reading it, honestly. The woman should "get over herself" on her freakin wedding day! Get the hell out of here! The day is about her and her husband, not a damn skid or anyone else for that matter!

Step-Volgirl's picture

DH and I got married this past summer - my 1st; his 2nd. SD was 8 at the time and was a flower girl - along with the bridesmaid's daughters. All the girls sat with MIL during the ceremony and at their own special table during the reception. My DS walked me down the aisle and then went to sit with my mom during the ceremony. He sat at a table with his friends during the reception. DH and I opted for a head table rather than a sweetheart table, but ultimately, we were the only ones sitting. During the actual ceremony, we did a sand ceremony. That was the end of the their participation in the wedding ceremony. I do believe that a wedding is mostly about the bride and groom, but it is also about blending a family. The future SD's role as a flower girl covers her involvement. So would a sand ceremony or a family unity candle ceremony. Including kids (bio or step) at a sweetheart table changes it from a sweetheart table to a family table. Personally, I think having the skid sit with family or friend would be more fun for the kid.

Jsmom's picture

This is exactly why we got married on a beach in Costa Rica...No drama. The kids were there, but the only part of the ceremony was vows we made to them. My son did walk me down the aisle. Beyond that, they do not need to be that involved.

We did let me SS hold the wedding rings, that was a huge mistake as he dropped them in the sand and we spent 10 minutes looking for them during the ceremony. DH's idea!

christinen's picture

DH and I went away to get married too for the same reasons! No drama or bs! Just a great time with my husband Smile

RedWingsFan's picture

DH and I took his two best friends and asked if one would perform our ceremony (we got him ordained) and his wife could take photos and we rented an SUV and headed for the beach. We got married in a quiet little ceremony just the four of us, rented cabins for the weekend and had a blast bbqing, boating and fishing!

We came back to town and had a small reception at his best friend's restaurant/bar where we invited my daughter, mom and all of his family and our friends. It was 105 degrees in the shade, but we all had fun.

SD14 was uninvited by her father to our reception because she told him outright "I don't support your marriage and I wish you were still with mom". Well then, guess what? If you can't support us and be happy for us, you can sit your ass at home with your mom!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I agree, Risingaboveit. My marriage is between my husband and myself, no one else.

JValaThorne's picture

Funny....I wrote a comment on the advice given...polite and honest about the horrible rude advice they gave...and the bride was not wrong to feel the way she did. and now...its gone.


ownpersonalopinion1's picture

I helped with my ex Step son's wedding and they included his three children in wedding. A ceremony was performed with all of them lighting candles and repeating family promises or something to that effect. I've never seen that before, but it was very special and pretty. It worked for them.