Yes, she was a SAHM while they were married, but the problem lies in the fact that she can't afford to stay at home. She has been hounding my DH for extra money from the second I've come around. She's not involved with the children while they're in school and not involved with any after school activities. In fact, she won't let them be involved with any after-school activities because she claims there is no extra money. My husband has to take time off of work to go to the skids school to check in on SS11's homework and talk to the teacher probably once a week because she won't get off her butt to go do it herself. She lives 3 minutes from the school, while my husband lives a good 25 minutes from the school. He is missing around 15 homework assignments, and is always in in-school-suspension.

I don't have a problem with SAHM in general, when they are humble and grateful for what they have. She is a manipulative conniving b*tch, who isn't thankful for one dime. My DH was 2 days late on the EXTRA $400.00 two months ago, and she threw a HUGE stink about going to a lawyer and taking him back to court. Over 2 days. This is money she shouldn't be receiving in the first place. This is just extra money that she requested so my DH could have the kids through Monday and take them to school on Tuesday every other weekend.

This has been driving me crazy for a while now, and maybe it's a good thing I posted about this--the response you've posted wasn't what I expected, but it helped me look at the situation from another perspective.

He does bring in a decent salary, but at the same time, the higher the pay the higher the bills. Our bills are pretty ridiculous. She's actually never had a job, and I'm sure until my DH stops paying the child support, she won't get one until then. I think moreso my issue is with the fact that she KEEPS asking for more money, even though they eat out constantly, probably 4 or 5 times a week.

I know for a fact that this can get expensive, we have the kids only on the weekends, and if we eat out once, it's financially draining. I mean, 2 adults and 5 children! Yikes. I think this is where the majority of the cash is going unfortunately. He pays her a large sum, but you're most definitely right, they're new thing lately is: if mom won't buy it, dad will.

Take for example, clothing. Their mom won't buy them skinny jeans, just regular jeans, so they come over here & DH goes out and buys them. Of course. One of my SS has 2 ipods (one Nano & one Touch). Two. Ridiculous. Every single child has an ipod. There is every game system known to man in our house (PS3, PS, Wii, Xbox, Xbox360, 4 computers, iPad). It's really frustrating when all the kids will do is come over & watch netflix (we don't have cable or satellite because I get distracted from my homework)or play their electronics the ENTIRE duration of their stay. My DH practically has to force them outside to take bike rides or hikes with him....anyway....way off topic, sorry!

The SS11 has decided that because he is so far behind in his homework, and his teacher is pressuring him to submit his late assignments. He wrote an e-mail to BM telling her that since they haven't come up with a solution to the problem, that he thinks the ONLY answer is that she can pay him for his compliance with completing the past due and future homework assignments. His actual words were I don't like bringing this up to you mom, because I know you don't want to go for it, but I think dad could. He could just pay me and my teacher could give me classroom cash. She forwarded us the email so we could pay her, and then she could give it to him.

Unbelievable.

Don't get me wrong, I fully expect my husband to pay child support regularly, but the kids come over with their shoes falling apart and we find out they go out to dinner almost every night. 5 kids is a HUGE expense (the 4 skids and BM's new DH has a BD of his own). My DH has to buy them shoes. She won't take those expenses off the child support. I tell my DH to not buy them. That's why she sends them over with the worn out shoes, so he WILL go buy them.

Problem with my DH is that he has the guilty father thing going on inside his brain--his kids have been effed over because of the divorce so he feels that he has to make up for it by buying them things. Shoes, ipods, game systems, skinny jeans, etc. etc. etc. Really starts to take a toll on OUR finances. Especially after finally buying a house the beginning of this month, paying lawyer fees, etc.

The reason why he's paying the "ransom" is because she wanted to take him to court for almost $10,000 in alimony she claims he owes. Mind you, he's been paying her religiously $1,100.00 a month the past 4 years, and the additional $3,000.00 a month in alimony before she got re-married. Her $10,000 doesn't include all the utilities, internet, rent, vehicle payments (which totaled over $6,000.00) that he paid for her for over a year after they divorced. None of that was ever calculated. She just sat on her butt while he paid for EVERYTHING because she didn't have a job and he wanted his kids to have the same stuff they had when they were still together. My husband is a giver.

I don't think he needs to pay her any extra either, but she falsely reported to the ORS (office of recovery services because she cannot be civil when they deal with each other in person, AND because she has a history of not keeping track of the money that IS ACTUALLY paid to her via child support & alimony, see starting post) that my DH owes her over $10,000.00. We have emails that we saved showing where she says specifically that: yes, DH paid BM more than I reported to the ORS, but I don't have those exact numbers to show them, and unless DH has proof of those numbers, I will not lower the amount I reported to them....conniving manipulative psycho. She lowered it to $7,100.00 to be exact (through the mediation) and it's broken down into $1,500/month instead of $1,100/month for 4 months and a lump sum of $5,500.00 to be paid by June. So freakin silly. We have to abide by this to get it handled asap because he cannot receive his passport until then. We had a free 5 day/4 night vacation paid for by his work in Mexico last summer but could not go because of her tactics that she was pulling with the ORS.

It's already cost us over $2,000 in lawyer fees and an additional $400 in mediation fees to get this handled accordingly. So....after it's all worked out, He really only saved $500 bucks, BUT the good thing about it is that the $2,400 of it is paid to lawyer instead of BM. Crazy b*tch. GRRRRR

I cannot wait until we take out title loans and any other kind of loan to pay her ransom and it'll be over for a couple months at least. That way we can finish paying our home renovations and more of our down payment for our home loan, and can pay my father back some of the $ he loaned us for home remodeling.

SORRY THIS POST WAS SLIGHTLY CONFUSING.