About to become a FT stepmom to a 12 yr old girl who's mom just passed.
A little background....
My boyfriend has a 12 year old daughter. He was married to her mom for 17 years. They divorced because the mom was an alcoholic (long story short, in and out of rehab, trouble with jobs and law). They had been divorced a few years when I met boyfriend.
Boyfriend and I have been dating 1.5 years. The mom didn't like me (more on principle than anything personal, she wasn't over him and was jealous) and didn't hide it from anyone, including their daughter. I tried to get along with the mom but she wasn't having it. The daughter liked me fine though. I like the daughter, too. She's a good kid, sweet, smart.
Boyfriend has custody, mom had visitation a couple nights/week.
Boyfriend and I started planning to move in together this summer, when the school year ends. Daughter seems ok with it, other than nervous about a new school, making new friends. But otherwise likes me and likes the idea.
The mom passed away last week. We found out she was still drinking and was rushed to the hospital a week earlier. She died of liver/kidney failure and complications.
I'm just super nervous about having a full time stepdaughter and how that will go. And how will it affect everything that her mom just passed, how will that affect our relationship? I don't know what to expect. I'm worried she will feel loyalty to the mom and how the mom didn't like me. Will she feel like she is betraying the mom if she lets herself like me or love me? I just want to be prepared.