20 yr old SS had domestic with his girlfriend DW blames me
Well, yesterday on the way to dinner my DW received a phone call from her , can't be away from mommy 20 yr old SS, he was fighting with his girlfriend. DW says to go by and drop her off at the corner of the street ( I am former Law Enforcement Officer 15 plus yrs), as we pull up SS and girlfriend are toe to toe outside on the sidewalk, a third female, I don't know her, in the middle of the street and another unknown male in the yard. As my DW gets out of the car along with 13 yr old SD, girlfriend runs to attack unknow female and then he runs and attacks both of them throwing his girlfriend to the ground face down and has her hands behind her, along while wearing his handgun ( mommy bought him last Christmas), since he needs to be a tough guy. I immediatley call 911, and let them know what is going on.
I get from my DW this morning that it was my fault for calling the police, that I had no right to call them since I did not know what was happening. DW says that I did it to ruin his chances to get ino the military, I told DW that we have two daughters and I would not want any male doing that to them during any incident. DW could care less, DW mad that her baby had the police called on him.
Anyway, last straw for me, I am moving out and moving on with my life, DW wants to be Mom and Dad, she's got it.
DW blames me, DW wont be a parent.
Well, yesterday on the way to dinner my DW received a phone call from her , can't be away from mommy 20 yr old SS, he was fighting with his girlfriend. DW says to go by and drop her off at the corner of the street ( I am former Law Enforcement Officer 15 plus yrs), as we pull up SS and girlfriend are toe to toe outside on the sidewalk, a third female, I don't know her, in the middle of the street and another unknown male in the yard. As my DW gets out of the car along with 13 yr old SD, girlfriend runs to attack unknow female and then he runs and attacks both of them throwing his girlfriend to the ground face down and has her hands behind her, along while wearing his handgun ( mommy bought him last Christmas), since he needs to be a tough guy. I immediatley call 911, and let them know what is going on.
I get from my DW this morning that it was my fault for calling the police, that I had no right to call them since I did not know what was happening. DW says that I did it to ruin his chances to get ino the military, I told DW that we have two daughters and I would not want any male doing that to them during any incident. DW could care less, DW mad that her baby had the police called on him.
Anyway, last straw for me, I am moving out and moving on with my life, DW wants to be Mom and Dad, she's got it.
I was about to say that I
I was about to say that I could not stay married to someone who would a) let their child do what you witnessed with no consequences and b) accuse me of trying to ruin their lives.
Yep, time to move on.
its just sad
Just sad that I helped raise SS, SD and our 8 yr old D, and worked so tirelessly to help provide good home, also help take care of her mom and grandmother before they both passed. I guess I should have been just as mean and nasty to them as DW and SS were and are to me. Glad I got provide healthcare for 14 yrs for DW kids, Since her loser ex's never did or really help in anyway.
One thing I learned from this
One thing I learned from this whole mess with my DH's ex is that you don't want to sink to her level. The fact that you did all those things for them says a lot about your character. The fact that they don't appreciate it says a lot about theirs.
Just beware that you don't get labeled as one of those "loser exes" so that she can find another man to replace you in your DD's life. Fight hard for your rights to equal parenting or more.
Based On The Info Provided, You Did (Are Doing) The Right Thing
I read your response post and also gave kudos there.
You seem like a stand up guy any good, attentive, and loving woman would be happy to have in her life.
Calling the police (especially given your background) is the best thing to do, especially since there are daughters involved also, and you tried to get their mother to see it from that perspective.
Sounds like your wife has divorced mommy guilt where he son is concerned. Love goggles will distort the view, and rapidly deteriorate your marriage, as you now know.
Best of luck. Keep us in the loop!
Yes you did the right thing
Yes you did the right thing by getting the police involved.
A big Thank You.
Thank you all so much for the encouragement. I will keep you all posted on my progress as I try to keep my emotions in check and deal with all of this with a level head and purpose.
Good on you for calling the
Good on you for calling the police.
I hope that your SS is still in jail and that he stays there.
Congratulations on moving on. No one needs this kind of trash in their life.
DH’s SIL (his brother ‘s wife
DH’s SIL (his brother ‘s wife) has a 38 year old son from a previous marriage. Several months ago while she was taking a meal to him he beat her up, stole her car, purse and phone while on a drug spree. He’s been trouble for decades.
She is a lovely, educated woman and is just a really good person. Her son is now serving a 10 year prison sentence. I guess a mother’s love can just accept anything. As she is now driving 200+ miles every other week to go see him. And she believes he has really changed. This isn’t his first prison stay.
I don’t get how these woman can be so obsessed with their worthless sons.
Sadly eternal hope rarely
Sadly eternal hope rarely trumps personal nature. He will kill her next time. And... there will be a next time if something radical does not occure to prevent it. I would wager on it.
The best thing for all would be for him to get shanked in prison and put out of his mother's misery.
This guy beat and robbed his mother. He is a write off. He should be a complete write off from the human gene pool.
IMHO of course.
8 yo d
I hope you can stay in touch with 8 yo d. Send her lots of cards and call her often and get as much time with her as possible. She needs you during this big life changing event.
Take care.