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Feel like I'm going insane

Sherry's picture

Hi everyone! I'm new here , honestly wish I wasn't.  So here's my story. My children are almost 30 and 27. My daughter is married has her masters, owns a home works and raises her babies. My son is a corrections officer is in the army national guard owns his home with his fiance. I was a single mom, put myself through nursing school and kept my foot up their asses all the way....creating functional members of society. 

My husband of 8 years was a childhood friend of mine, we grew up across the street from one another. He was married for 20 years to a complete narcissist.  She never worked, cheated, lied, took his money. He didn't want to leave due to leaving the kids with her, until he finally did. We did not reconnect until he was divorced over a year living on his own. He has 3 adult children.  Their ages are 27, 24, and 23. He left when the youngest was around 13. The 2 oldest are males the  youngest female. 

The oldest has not spoken to my husband in years and he/ we were never given any explanation. The last time we heard from him was around 4 years ago he came by to get his birthday present. He lives at home with his mother doesn't work, smokes weed all day and plays video games. The mother worked for a very short period of time and is now on disability claiming an injury. 

I work full time as an emergency room nurse. I've never been without a job since I was 13. 

My husband is a hard worker, he's kind, compassionate and would give the shirt off his back for litteraly anyone. 

He has a major guilt complex about everything and anything. I'm a believer in knowing if I've done right in my heart with good intentions then I have no reason for guilt in any part of my life. 

We, together as a team bought a beautiful home together, we work hard for the things we have achieved as a team. 

My children accepted him 100% my husband loves the relationship that they have and he is our grand babes papa. My kids and him are very close.

His kids never called or came around for years, unless they needed money, a car fixed, a present or just straight out needed something.  This caused him to be extremely sad. But it also created Disneyland dad. Because he wanted nothing more than to be close to his kids.....and felt very guilty for the relationship he has with mine.

A year ago his middle son who was the only one who looked as though he had a future was also in the military had a full time job was a hard worker. He got the vaccines in the military and right after started to have seizures and a thyroid issue. The seizures are not under control, he is no longer in the military no longer works no longer drives. He was living with his girlfriend and her parents. They said he needed to pay rent so he called daddy and daddy said move in here. So he lives here plays video games all day and smokes weed. He is supposed to follow up with neurology to get these seizures under control but suddenly has a fear of needles and no push to follow up and get his life back on track, now his girlfriend is also here every single day. This morning I cleaned out the fridge before the trash came and got a nasty text saying do not throw out my girlfriends was a plastic container with ONE piece of lettuce. Nobody is paying anything to live here ....she did buy her own lettuce. I am also home right here....I get a text?!

Moving on.... his daughter.... in May she called daddy and said her other brother attacked her verbally and the mother walked out of the house while this happened.  She called hysterical.  She moved in.  After about 2 months she still had no job and followed him around like a puppy. Both of these adult kids stay in their rooms all day avoiding me..... if we bump into each other it's minimal one word conversations.  As soon as my husband comes home she is attached to him like glue until it's time to go to bed. I told him what I was noticing and how I felt.  He made her go get a job..... she chose a donut shop making crap for money.  

During this time I started to notice she was making comments to him and he would tell me about it because he's daughter said she saw a video and if you let ants get into the hummingbird feeder you can kill them all, she said if you don't have time to take care of things she could do that. My daughter said you don't take care of the weeds growing in your garden she told me she'd be willing to take over your garden if your not able....I lost my effing shit....I was like do you not see how manipulative this is? And if she thinks that there is an issue with MY hobbies then why only tell you? I said here is an idea tell her to clean the bathroom that only she uses?! 

Now it has come down to she gets home from work early afternoon....on the days she works. As soon as my husband comes home she doesn't leave his side....she jumps to make his lunches for work, she jumps to fold his laundry in the dryer she jumps to mow the part of the lawn he mows because I also mow part of it. When I work 12 hour shifts he feeds the animals and cleans the house so I don't have to do it when I get home or spend my entire next day taking care of everything,  this is how we have worked together for 8 years. She saw him sweeping the other day and took the broom from him and said, "What other tasks do you need to complete for her. " Meaning me.  Then he told me because he believed she was trying to help out.  I lost my frigan mind.  Initially denial was there in his part. Then I explained she has no friends she is by your side in the couch or wherever you are from the minute you come home until you go to bed....WE are partners together....the things you do around the house for OUR home should be because we are a team. Not because I give you tasks which I do not he's always just done it. She's acting like your wife and partner and I'm on the sidelines. It's all of you then me. I feel selfish, angry, grossed out. They completely ignore me all day when I am home alone then answer me with one worded answers when I try to have a conversation. 

I feel torn do you say stop doing shit around the house when they should be helping out. But the only one that's getting (help) is what daddy needs to do. These failure to launch entitled manipulative brats are never going to launch. I have not had a minute alone with my husband in months. If I tell him they need to leave and they never speak to him again the guilt he will carry will ultimately ruin our marriage and if this crazy making shit continues it will ultimately ruin our marriage.  He seems to understand and tries to put his foot down then she runs in her room crying like a 2 year old and hides for days. Then comes out and things go straight back to how it was before. I told him she needs counseling and he just says she won't go. 

This is causing me to have huge anxiety,  walking around on eggshells in my own hell.... now I have to worry about throwing out a box of empty lettuce on trash day for a third party that has apparently moved into my home. I might snap.

Winterglow's picture

I would silently move out. Find a nice little place to rent where you only have one bedroom and move in without saying anything. See how long it takes your DuH to notice you're gone. Let him come and spend time at your place but not move in. He'll soon realize that he shot himself in the foot. His kids are his problem to soleve, not yours and you don't have to continue living with them AND paying for their food and rent. If your husband enjoys living in a flop house then so be it. 

Take your life back.

Sherry's picture

Well isn't flop house the most accurate term! Believe me I'm getting my ducks in a row! I'm way to independent to be dealing with this shit at 51 years old. 

AgedOut's picture

sadly, and I do mean I'm hurting for you just reading this, it seems as though your marriage has become a family of them vs you and I wish I could tell you it will improve but I won't lie to you. Only you know where your line is. Only you know when you've had enough. Maybe seek counselling for yourself and after a few months of that decide if this is what you want for your forevers. If it is, then it remains the same. If it isn't, then your husband needs to decide which life he wants to have: the one with you or the one where it's just him and his children. Maybe look into condos close to your grands? have an idea of what it would take if that ends up being the route you take. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

The adult babies go or you go. That's the only way I see this working. The dynamic of adult kids living at home may work in intact families in some cultures, but adult stepkids with emotional issues? Nope. It's just not a long-term sustainable lifestyle. 

Sherry's picture

I agree completely,  with the end result.of me leaving. This damn one piece of lettuce this morning.... after working five twelves in a row has put me completely over the edge....I'm normally a kind empathetic person. Right now I feel like a ticking time bomb as they hide in their rooms until daddy comes home. I am blown away by the blatant entitlement and disrespect. They use everything of mine and don't replace anything when it's empty.  If I cook supper suddenly I'm responsible to make sure everyone has food and his vegetarian girlfriend has to have a completely different meal. Today the beast has awoken. If I ^bump^ into them today they will be packing their bags before he even gets home from kids will be the first to tell anyone how psychotic I can be when pushed. The balls...a big plastic container with ONE piece of lettuce left and the text....can WE not throw away her food .....get F*cked.....there is no we....

AgedOut's picture

does he send his nonsense texts to Daddy too? or is it his passive agression directed only your way. 



Sherry's picture

Ironically it went to daddy too....which I hope opens his eyes....he's working in a Cia building and can't have his phone so today after working 10 hours up at 2am and 3 hours away from home....I'm hoping he loses his shit.

Rags's picture

Don't be that.

Be strong.  Your SO is the one who is pathetic. Just don't let you having empathy make you the pathetic one by allowing he and his toxic spawn to take advantage of you.

Take care of... you.

Give rose

ESMOD's picture

I would text back.. the lettuce leaf didn't belong to anyone living here... maybe you would feel comfortable if you and your GF got your own place sweetie.

AgedOut's picture

or.... maybe put a huge label on it that says 'this belongs to Freeloaoder GF do not throw away' then just leave it in there forever or until you pack your stuff and run screaming away

Sherry's picture

I love this....I always think I could've handled this much has built up over the last year that this put me right over the edge.

Survivingstephell's picture

Like really, did she write her name on that piece of lettuce??  

Put your bitch boots on and start kicking them out.   DH can go too just for letting it happen in the first place.   

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Also, it sucks what happened to SS in the military, but he has to find another way to live. He may qualify for some kind of disability or other public assistance if he really is messed up. People do live on that. A nice place in a desirable location? No. But he needs to leave your house. 

TrueNorth77's picture

My good friend's husband just got on disability from the military for PTSD. He does not work and will not have to again. He gets a LOT of $ each month. 

Harry's picture

Mental problems are a gift that keeps on giving. Kids are narcissist too.   You see the writing on the wall. DH just as nuts as his kids.  You make good money,, so move out and get on with your life. Getting out of the zoo. You a find someone else  This isn't going to work out. 

Newimprvmodel's picture

And how was the house bought?  If you pay for it or own it without husband I would never leave it. Have a heart to heart about finances. Who buys groceries?  The free loaders need to start paying rent, electric etc. 
Tell husband that you've had enough. They need to move out or you need to move on yourself. I assume you make a good salary. I'm not so sure he will blow up his nice home over these free loaders. 

TrueNorth77's picture

Type up 2 contracts, 1 for each adult-baby. You have X amount of months (6, for example) to have a job, be self-sufficient, find an apt, even if a roommate is necessary, and move out. Until then, you will contribute to chores, clean your bathroom, etc. Man-baby needs to look into military benefits if he hasn't already (I know they can take time). But the flop house has an end date, this isn't the end game. Get DH on board, adult-babies sign it. This gives them notice, time to get ducks in a row, and move the F out. 

Also, his daughter is a mini wife, which is gross. Look it up. 

Sherry's picture

He called a family mtg, SD didn't respond SS said that I crossed a line. His dgt 100 percent has mini wife syndrome and weeks ago I told him I will not feel like their is another wife in this house and used the word (gross) verbatim. Of course he didn't see it like was "just her trying to help out" I asked him if he was delusional....because as she's critiquing everything I do or don't do the only one she's helping is him by treating him like her husband and questioning what other *tasks* he needs to do to make me sweeping the floor, while I'm working 12 hours and they all track dirt through the house. I'm so aggravated, feeling dismissed. It's all crashing down now. His adult kids will ultimately find someone else to latch onto and he will be left in the dust begging for his perfect life back and that ship has already sailed. I have to say seeing this mini wife syndrome play out in front of my face was disturbing to say the least. If my husband came home and kissed me or made any nice comments to me the daggers I would get was unbelievable. The way she would jump out of her room the minute he pulled up to make his lunch for the next day and not leave his side made me sick, and of course at first I was like, she's just trying to be helpful,  shes uncomfortable here, she has issues and needs to heal... dont be selfish.....As a nurse I've seen this play out many times....where 60 -70 year Olds who live / take care of mommy or daddy do not know how to cope with their dying parent. I've always been like how tf does this even happen?! I now see i shouldve been very careful what I chose to ask the universe to show me.

Amerz2k's picture

my 21 yr old SD is moving back in after not living here since she was about 14. I am in the process of moving in with my elderly mother, which works out because she does need help and is happy about it. But I am throwing in the towel. the audacity and lack of boundaries is unbelievable. I can't even write details because I need to keep my stress levels down. her older half sister messaged me (we were her foster parents for a bit) to send her heartfelt sympathy as she knows how weirdly controlling this girl is. her own grandmother won't have her back. she's on the spectrum - but she does work, she just has zero social skills and a major sense of entitlement, but she doesn't even understand when told certain decisions are not her place at all. and dad just hides. he doesn't want this either but to gutless to find an alternative. I suggested getting a bigger house with a separate apartment but he is not a starter, as in he makes money but will not actually do anything himself, I'd have to be the one making it happen, and I'm just done. I feel your pain. good luck to you! 

Rags's picture

household beck-&-call chore bitches.  So, inform DH and his failed Skidult spawn that the kidults do all of the chores as long as they are resident. Working.... or not.

Ride that horse until it drives them off on their own.  

Where they belong

Being our live in beck-&-call boy/chore bitch was the burning platform that got SS-31 to launch.  Do not tolerate SD's/their disrespecftul bullshit or DH drinking their, or his own  "trying to help" Kool-Aid bullshit.


Make their existence one of escalating abject misery. They leave to gain whatever reasonable level of life enjoyment that THEY can provide for THEMSELVES.  These failed family progeny are long past old enough to finish growing up on their own time and their own dime.

Make that happen.


Sherry's picture

Well my husband came home from work last night. He spoke to his son who does not see any problem with texting me not to throw away good food. ONE PIECE OF LETTUCE. As the night went on his son sent another text apologizing and I responded with basically f*ck this I have put my life aside to let you and your sister move in here and gave you everything,  I will show you the same respect by responding by text since nobody has the balls to come talk to me. My husband called a family meeting, his dgt did not respond and his son said I crossed a line and it won't be happening. My husband said he shouldn't have to choose between me and them. I said you just made your choice. Apparently, im being irrational. So much pain and drama. We bought the house together, we split the bills together. Except I buy everything for the house in terms of essentials and food. Being a nurse is what got me into this situation, thinking I can save the world. There is no way out of this,  our marriage is doomed either way. Guess it's time to put my big girl panties on and make plans to sell the house. Thank you all for understanding and allowing me to not feel like this is all my fault and that I shouldn't have to tip toe around my home to placate these entitled douchebags. I am so upset and honestly shocked by how quickly this all came to a head. It's stupid and naiive of me to think anything would've gone differently, they were raised this way and I am nothing more than an outsider who is Apparently crazy and irrational because I expect respect in my own home. I am overwhelmed by the emotions of all of this.

la_dulce_vida's picture

Your husband made VOWS to you. That's when he CHOSE. Whatever he thinks he did to fail his children, that ship has sailed. They are adults, now, and need to fend for themselves.

Tell him to move out and take his adult children with him because you're going to prep the house to be sold. Go nuclear. Tell him they all need to go rent an apartment together.

In the meantime, I would stop buying groceries, take the wifi router with you each day you go to work, don't cook, don't clean, no nookie for Disney daddy. Turn off the cable and remove any level of comfort those users experience at your home.

TrueNorth77's picture

I can only imagine how you are feeling. I do not think you are in the wrong here whatsoever. I think prior to your DH being bulldozed by skids and allowing them to move in because he has his rose-colored bio-dad glasses on, you had a good marriage. I would sit him down and make it very clear that he does not have to choose anyone, but that his kids are capable of supporting themselves if they are made to and not enabled to be lazy and mooch at home. But that the current situation is not working for you, you are unhappy and you WILL be exiting it because you no longer feel like your happiness is a priority. I would hope he would make changes based on that alone. If not, at least you know you did all you could do. 

Also, his kids refusing to attend the meeting is absolute BS, and shows they have zero respect for him or you, yet expect to be able to live in YOUR home on THEIR terms. Nope. No no no. They are living in your house rent-free, they damn well better jump when called to a meeting. And please do not buy one more grocery for them.  

Rags's picture

Unfortunately, your STBX is that shit parent.

Enjoy your new life adventure with this failed man, DH, father and his spawn fading in your rear view mirror.

I applaud your confidence and zero tolerance for DH's failed parenting and zero tolerance for his toxic spawn.

He made it clear that neither you nor your relationship with him are his priority.

Good riddance to that entire shallow and polluted gene pool.

Take care of you.

Winterglow's picture

I am truly sorry that things have come to this.

Your husband is an idiot. He didn't have to "choose" between you. His kids behaved like they owned the place, the place that you have been financing for years. He should have told his son that you were owed respect and to pack his bags and find his own home. Dammit, you're his wife! 

Time to sit down and recalculate all the bills and the mortgage so that it reflects how much you have overpaid for his kids then demand that extra when you sell the house. Why should you have thrown all that money down the drain on his ungrateful, idle, useless offspring. Time for him to cough up.

Never forget that this was, in no way, your fault. However, it's time to get exactly what is yours so no playing Mrs Nice Guy, right? If you falter, we're here to help!


Sherry's picture

The irony of all of this is for the past 7 years prior to them moving in, they only contacted their father when they wanted money or a car fixed or their gifts for bdays Xmas whatever and I spent years watching him suffer through the pain of his ungrateful kids and trying to help him heal and understand it wasn't his fault. And here I am, just trying to fight for respect and no sick little twisted games in my home. Where my husband rather burying his head in the sand. I've been telling him for months this is going to come to a head. He chose to not believe it, and screamed what do you want me to do? I try to talk to them and then they ignore me for days. Maybe just maybe at that point they should've been given an ultimatum.Yet they pretended like nothing was ever wrong when my husband came home, making it appear as though I was making it all up. After 8 years he should know I'm not irrational and I take a long time to think things through. By saying I won't live like this and that he chooses to continue to allow this bullsh*t ....I'm now apparently blaming him but ultimately it is his fault....he raised them to be this way. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

We see variations of this over and over on ST. The parent (usually dad) who was alienated when the kids were young jumps at the chance to have a do over with their adult kids. Problem is, the kids are damaged, and the kids aren't KIDS. 

The sad truth is, his kids are hardbroke and there's little chance for him to ever have a healthy, MUTUAL relationship with them because he's always been just the wallet. Add in his daughter's mini wife daddee issues and the way she's trying to drive a wedge in your marriage, and it's completely toxic. 

If you want to go, go sooner rather than later. If you want to keep your H, you can handle this the soft way or the hard way. Soft = the two of you going to couples counselling. Hard = you inform your H either he removes the toxic adults from the marital home or you will - and he won't like the way you do it. Separate finances, stop cooking, cleaning, buying food, and only contribute 1/5 to the monthly expenses. Either way, keep those bi!ch boots on and F these freeloaders because they aren't your people and never will be.

Un f'ing believable what some of these guilty parents expect their partners to live with.

Winterglow's picture

I agree that it's his fault. They should never have been allowed to.move in in the first place. He should have told them to grow up and deal with their problems themselves.

Sherry's picture

They waited for my husband to go to work and they are loading their cars. Unfortunately, it will always be my fault they left. No conversation, no accountability, no boundaries no respect. No conversation with their father. We all know where this will end. With all fingers pointing at me for just wanting respect in my own home. 

Winterglow's picture

Well, whaddya know, they found a solution, just like grown ups would do! He should thank you for helping his kids stand on their own two feet.

Please do NOT feel guilty. Besides, the one that should feel guilty is your DuH - he allowed his kids to disrespect you and treat your home like a flop house, taking advantage of your generosity and generally making your life miserable.

Do not feel bad for this. Just remind yourself that you had already decided to sell the house and take it from there. How he chooses to interpret this situation is entirely up to him. If he chooses to be miserable rather than be happy he has his home back and a happy wife well... that's his problem. Let him wallow in his own negativity.

Aside- is it possible that his son is refusing treatment because his seizures have stopped? Not that it matters now, of course.

la_dulce_vida's picture

Just remember, no matter what your spouse says, this is NOT on you. It's the outcome of his poor choice of an incubator womb for his offspring, and leaving them to be raised by an abusive narcissist. He got out and left them behind - his fault. It's not fair of him to blame you for the terrible woman he chose to lay down and make 3 babies with.

You're a decent, respectable woman who has shown him the love and partnership his first wife FAILED to give him, and he's repaying you with choosing the terrible children of that terrible woman.

If he blows up at you, tell him he can leave, too. Then make your plans to take your life back. Your spouse is a fool and an idiot.

StepUltimate's picture

Re-keying the locks is inexpensive, and SO worth it!

Rags's picture


You will be gone. They can all wallow in the stench of thier self delusional shallow and polluted gene pool.

You...will be on to your new live adventure living your best life.

While they continue their multigenrational rot.

justmakingthebest's picture

Let things calm down with the kids and your husband. 

He is going to see how much better the home is with just the 2 of you in it very quickly. He is going to love the peace. He is going to realize you were right for standing your ground. He probably won't admit this but he'll know.

You did the right thing. These adults needed to grow up and figure out thier own lives. You put up with enough for far long enough. 

The vows your husband made to you were broken in this and now he needs to work to repair them. 

Rags's picture

"What do you want me to do?"

One of the most damaging  and dangerous sentences a prior breeder married to a SP can use.

My DW used it a number of times as we were raising SS and the toxic SpermClan was trying to splash us from the shallow and polluted genetic cess pool they wallow in.  I would tell her to do something or I would and no one would like it I was the one to drive action.  It was not about the SKid. It was about the SpermClan.  We generally aligned well on parenting together and in our marriage.  Our challenge was nowhere near as deep or complex as what you are suffering with this whole thing.


She would work through it, we would align, and deal with the toxic bullshit.

Your DH, failed his children as a parent/father, failed you as your husband, and failed your marriage.

Good riddance to all of them.

You are not at fault in this. In any way.

Congratulations for not failing yourself.


Newimprvmodel's picture

Had many instructions for her husband before she passed away many moons ago. One of the best was she told him he needed to retire to a resort location "so the kids will visit". In your case, and with most of us......NOT.  

BobbyDazzler's picture

But, from what I've read, I don't understand how you haven't gone apeshit psycho beotch and thrown their asses out of the house... followed by the friggin wilty lettuce. Maybe I'm missing something? 

Sherry's picture

I tried to keep the peace realizing they were damaged. I thought my husband and I could *heal* them and assist it their growing to be functional adults....naiive....but I did go batsh*t and lost it. I did t want to be the wedge or be blamed for my husbands relationship being ruined with his adult spawns. Now I'm labeled u stable and apparently shouldn't be *ready to run * hahahahahah f*ck it.

Sadielady's picture

I can so relate to your situation. My DH and I also had a very happy marriage before his adult kids threw a wrench in everything. It's been a heartbreaking 16 months or so, and I've been on the brink of leaving a mumber of times. But I love my husband and it sounds like you love yours. It also sounds like he was a good husband until his kids put him in this very awkward position. My DH and I chose the counselling route and he's now doing private sessions to help him understand how to enforce boundaries and understand that he's not single-handedly responsible for his relationship with his adult kids. They have a role to play and choices to make if they want to maintain their relationship with him. It's been a difficult road for him. He too was accused of abandoning his family and ended up with a major case of divorce dad syndrome. If you love him, and believe your marriage is worth saving, give him time to process his relationship with his kids while also furnly setting your boundaries. In the early days of our troubles, I often reminded DH that his children put him in the position of choosing me or them, not me. He sees that now. He's currently not in speaking terms with either kid and although heysad about it, he also knows that it's due to their behaviour, not his, and not mine. I also worried that my DH would resent me. But now he often acknowledges how unfairly I was treated throughout the ordeal and that I'm the one who has reason for resentment, not him. I'm cautiously optimistic. If it's worth fighting for, fight. But do it with your boundaries openly stated and enforced. I hope it works out for you. 

CLove's picture

Glad that you stood your ground, and glad you were the person who articulated all the toxic cr!p to your husband.

From what youve written, he will of course blame you. Some counseling might help.

He didnt want things to change because it WORKED for him. His kids in his house so he could have a re-connection, they knew this and took advantage, his daughter the mini wife giving all that adulation, which was probably intoxicating for him, and of course they are "making up for lost time" etc...

It worked for him. You helping with bills and housing, supporting this whole deal, that worked for HIM.

And they always say that "your making me choose between you and my CHILDREN, if I was a good dad the CHILDREN would always come first!!!!!"

Thats utter cr!P. The spouse is number 1 priority and society wants to program us to think and believe differently. Total bs.

SD24, Feral Forger shes apparently always crying that I, Clove "took her dad awaaaaaaaay". Thats my superpower as they say.

Never mind he texts and calls and invites, and she ignores unless she needs or wants something. Hes moved her twice from a 6 hour round trip house share. Cleaned it up too! 

So what exactly did I do that "took her dadee away from her?" I did NOT allow her to move in. She asked twice. The second time I got to hear it directly. I told her "you called me names, you treated me horribly, youve never apologised...and you want to live in my home, with me?"

She replied "well thats my dads house and Im his child so I should be able to have my old room back if I need it".

THAT is what she said to me.

Oh little girl, youve said the wrong things to the wrong person! I just responded with "I own this house equally, BOTH our names are on it, we bought it from my parents, and I pay half everything equally here...sooooooooo. That would be a no go for me. That would not work..."

Felt really really good! 

I do not stand in anyones way nor do I insert myself into his relationships with skids. If they dont consider him important enough, thats not my problem and its not my fault.

So GOOD NEWS, they left. Now time to soldier on because he will try to put it on you...

Sherry's picture

I wrote all this in the beginning of Sept. On Oct 3, everything came to reality, my kind compassionate husband is a covert narcissist and you guys were all right about his toxic adults. Moved out in November, house sold in Jan, he bought an 800 sq ft house for the 3 of them. Divorce date March 15. I can not begin to tell you the things I found out my husband was doing, the basics are..escorts prostitutes, owing 85k to the irs hidden life insurance policy taken out on me in may....the list goes on and on. I escaped.! 


Sherry's picture

It was a big wake up call and it sucked, healing now , in counseling. I'll never let anyone take advantage of me again!

StepUltimate's picture

Very happy to read your update. CONGRATS on being strong, honest with yourself, and courageous enough to TAKE ACTION to liberate yourself from that toxic nightmare from hell!

I second Rags request that you continue here at StepTalk. I already completed my divorce from exH "Disney Dad / Covert Narcissist" but still feel so encouraged when I read updates like you, Lillywen, Reedle, and other FREEDOM FIGHTERS who refused the life-sentence if toxic b.s. 

Either way, Sherry I am proud of you & very happy you freed yourself. Good job!


MorningMia's picture

Oh my God! I applaud your strong sense of self preservation and your courage. Also, although this was hell, it seems like you dodged an even bigger bullet. You did escape. Strongest wishes for a wonderful life for you after this nightmare! 

CLove's picture

Im so glad for you and thank you for the updates! Stick around and share your story with new folks if appropriate.

Amerz2k's picture

I'm following in your footsteps for real! mine is a total narcissist as well, and I am looking forward to getting myself back. I'm so glad you got out