A few ideas for cutting back on trolling, multiple accounts and drama...
Everyone here has, I'm sure, noticed the recent upswing in arguing and trolling/multiple account posters. It kind of saddens me as I enjoy reading and posting on this website. I think it can be a very positive source of support and advice for people in the often tough situation known as the stepparent role.
I think a possible solution would be to heighten security on registering and posting on this website. A lot of forums have different levels of security, ex. some basic forums that everyone can see, some that you need to be registered for, some that you need to have x number of posts for, some that you need to be approved by an admin to be part of, etc. It would cut down on trolling posts and it could be a pain in the butt for someone with multiple accounts to try and post in higher-level forums on their fake accounts. I've seen it work very well on various other parenting/family/support websites and think it could have good results here, too. Right now everything is out in the open.
I think a tougher registration process would be a great help, as well - more questions when signing up that can make it easier to sort the trolls and multiple accounts from the legit members and manual admin approval of ALL applications rather than automatic approval. It would be more time consuming, but in the long-run would be worth it, IMO. If possible, maybe take on a few more admins who could look after things like that, or have limited admin or moderator abilities.
If someone has multiple e-mails, it can be hard to pick out second/third/fourth accounts but IP addresses can be identified for that purpose, can they not? I've seen that technology used on other websites when banning people and don't see why we shouldn't utilize it here, if possible.
I think it's sad that we would have to crack down on site security so much, but I know this is a place a lot of us enjoy posting on and if things continue as they are I see it going downhill scarily fast.
shootingstars = blendedfam =
shootingstars = blendedfam = lifeisshort??
Yes, that's why I put a
Yes, that's why I put a question mark after it.
I can't prove it but Admin can.
I don't think it's a coincidence that this site ran smoothly until a group of 'old' posters returned en masse and now that they are back suddenly all the bitching and fighting and singling out certain people has started again.
In fact, I was told via pm that they came back with a plan to target certain people who they feel were instrumental in them throwing a hissy fit and leaving in the first place.
If you recall a group of them left to go off and create the perfect site for themselves because Dawn and Admin wouldn't follow their instructions on how to change this one. Apparently their perfect site proved to be too boring or otherwise lacking in appeal so they are back for round 2 over here.
maybe, but i had nothing to
maybe, but i had nothing to do with those who left and i was targeted...... plus i heard that blissful site is DOWN for the count ~ short lived.... and i do agree the timing is right on, but it could also be some bitter bm from ivillage.. who knows, things seem to have settled down today..
i wasn't tring to ruin it ~~
i wasn't tring to ruin it ~~ i just don't recall getting into any pissing contests with those the left or were banned..... but i drink and forget shit, so it's very possible!!!
Oh, I hear ya. And it would
Oh, I hear ya.
And it would be a lot, I agree, but if it's possible I think it may be worth it. It would be nice if we lived in a world where we could trust everyone to be mature and follow the rules, but sadly there are a lot of adults that behaviour more immaturely than some skids. 
Again, maybe the admins would be willing to let some trusted members help with that process to spread the labour around. Hmm.
It's a lot, still. I'm just brainstorming, is all.
What I know is that I have
What I know is that I have had pms from different people telling me that some of the ones who left in a huff and are now back hatched a plot to come back and target certain people to get them kicked off or, failing that, to make it such crap here that Dawn will shut the site down. Some of them have multiple user names that were set up some time ago.
It is obvious that the site was running smoothly and calmly until this group returned and now that they are back it's one cat fight after another.
BMJen was banned because she
BMJen was banned because she dared to call out someone on some bullshit. It's funny how I have seen no less than 3 to 4 posts in the past 24 hours doing the exact same thing she did (call out a specific poster by name on an issue) and none of those people were banned.
Hmm?
actually TheWife is NOT BMJen
actually TheWife is NOT BMJen as you like to think you know. I know them both personally and they are distinctly different people.
I actually find it QUITE
I actually find it QUITE amusing that she would call me BMJen... Anyone who knows anything knows that we are two distinctly different people. LOL. Thanks for being in the loop, Henny. I'm just gonna SMH to that one...
You shouldn't accuse if you
You shouldn't accuse if you don't have the facts.
Ohh, real quiet there now,
Ohh, real quiet there now, huh?
::cricket::
::cricket::
Holy crap. Drama on an
Holy crap. Drama on an internet site for people who need help and advice. I'm thinking about not coming back just because of the crapola going on. And worse, the shit started not two days after I joined. Nice... guilt by association. I use this place as a bridge between counseling visits but I find that it's just ADDING to my tension sometimes.
Maybe we should all post our real names and pictures
Just kidding, though I did.
The Admins can stop multiple registrations. It's really easy. You just cross-check the IP addresses of the posters.
"The Admins can stop multiple
"The Admins can stop multiple registrations. It's really easy. You just cross-check the IP addresses of the posters.
"
Unless they use one pc at work and another at home, or multiple ones at home. Or unless their ip isn't static (most aren't) although in most of these cases (except the one at work, one at home scenario) the ip addresses would all fall within a set range and probably be within a few digits of each other.
Anybody who puts that amount
Anybody who puts that amount of effort into causing drama on a website needs to spend some serious time in a padded room.
(No subject)
They HAVE to log on to the
They HAVE to log on to the same computers sometime, IMO. I know that isn't a guarantee we'd catch everyone but it would be a start and probably would take out a big chunk, anyway.
I agree. Dawn/Admin are the
I agree. Dawn/Admin are the only ones who can change how the site works. These things need to be directed to them...not everyone here.
I just didn't want to go
I just didn't want to go through and try to pinpoint every not-so-great post - maybe just some overall changes to the site would help the problem.
Even if we didn't do all of these, a couple that are easier to work in, like tougher registration, I think might cut down on the problems. Another thing might be to not let people see the forums or personal blogs until they've been approved... A lot of us are pouring our hearts into what we write and revealing a lot of personal feelings and frustrations - this site isn't hard to stumble across and while none of us use names, if a BM or older skid came across it and could identify someone based on the situations they were posting about, it would defeat the purpose of having somewhere safe to vent and look for help. -shrug-
I'm no expert,
I'm just brainstorming some ideas that I've seen work elsewhere. That's all. 
It doesn't mean read all the
It doesn't mean read all the posts - it means manually approving applications to be a member.
I'm not sure where the snark is coming from but it's really unnecessary; I haven't attacked anyone or said anything offensive, and I am only looking for some solutions in a forum that is specified as being for site suggestions. I'm not going to engage your drama.
This post wasn't about being
This post wasn't about being sick of drama, per se; it was about noticing a lot of posts of that nature and trying to brainstorm some solutions. Personally, I haven't said a word about the drama until this post.
What the admins do is up to them, and I respect the time and energy it takes to run a website. If they don't feel as though any of these suggestions are where they would like to go, then that's fine. -shrug- I haven't told anyone "how to behave".
I figured I would post here rather than sending it to Admin because I wanted to see what the general thoughts were about them among other members, since I am not the only one using this forum.
It isn't about grandstanding - most people on this site have no clue who I am. It's just about looking for solutions rather than engaging the same stuff and/or ranting about the same stuff with no suggestions on how to fix some of the problems. This forum is for site suggestions - I'm not spamming blogs or other forums about any of it.
Thats just the kind of person I am - if I see an issue, I try to brainstorm some solutions. There was no intent to do anything else. Again, I'm not sure where the defensiveness is coming from. I'm not sure exactly what you're reading into this post and if I've been unclear in the intentions, then I apologize; I will assure you, though, the way you're spinning it is not at all how it was intended.
no need to brainstorm, let
no need to brainstorm, let admin do that.. USE YOUR FLAG AS OFFENSIVE FEATURE, thats why they put one there.
Think of its from admins side, how would you like to get 25 messages a day, all complaining?
I myself would not like it.
--
Then why not help with brainstorming, since we all use this website, and take some of that weight off of the Admins who are clearly very busy? As far as getting messages complaining, that's precisely what I was trying to avoid doing to them until I had seen whether or not I was the only person thinking these may be positive changes. It's also part of what you sign up for when you agree to lead ANYTHING that you'll need to deal with peoples' complaints, and I am sure the Admins know that or else they wouldn't have started and maintained this website, but that's beside the point, I guess.
I explained why I posted it in the designated forum first. -shrug- I do make use of the tools I have on my own and bypass posts that don't interest me or that are baiting. This was to avoid outright spamming the Admins before knowing whether or not other people would love/hate it.
I'm not arguing that going to Admin is a better solution for results; I'm just explaining why I chose to place some suggestions, again, in the site suggestion forum first.
I hope I don't offend in
I hope I don't offend in replying. There have been so many threads that lead to trouble that start out this way. Everyone has suggestions for how to "fix" or "improve" the site. The problem is that everyone has different thoughts. Dawn/Admin are the only ones who can make any of the changes suggestions, so just to keep the fires that are already burning under control, Dawn/Admin have asked that we approach them directly with our thoughts & suggestions. I think it seems to just throw everyone into a tailspin & everyone winds up posting their own blog about how they feel the site should work.
Again, it's not my intention to upset. Just making you aware.
I see what you guys are
I see what you guys are saying,
Forgive me if it came across as though I didn't want to contact Admin directly. I just was curious on others' thoughts on what I had seen work elsewhere.
Honestly, I didn't even think this many people read the site suggestions forum.
I have a suggestion that does
I have a suggestion that does not require those that run the site to do anything:
DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS!
It's simple really - you don't like a certain user, ignore them - totally. If while you are ignoring them, they and their chime on in minions want to get offensive, there's a handy, dandy "flag as offensive" feature.
We're all adults here, or at least we're supposed to be. Stop feeding the nonsense with further BS. When I was young, my brother worked at annoying me like it was his job and my mom would always say, he only does it because he knows it bothers you. Same with trolls and flamers.
This is perharps the smartest
This is perharps the smartest thing anyone has said on this subject (Dont feed the animals)! People have been hijacking posts for the mere purpose of arguing with each other and creating new ones just to keep the arguements going or chasitse someone for starting an arguement which in turn starts another arguement. Hell this post was suppose to be about how to avoid arguing and even it turns in to an argument for some people!!!! FREAKING RIDICULOUS!!!