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Dentist & Foot Update

Mocha2001's picture

Okay … Tuesday night BM called and left a message for DH, “I need to talk to you about SS’ dentist appointment tomorrow.” I laughed. Told DH after all this she needs you to take SS to the DDS. Sure enough … she had a work conflict and said, “I can either have BF take him or you can.” Of course DH said he’d take SS to the DDS.

We pick SS up and he’s zonked at nap time. He’s got circles underneath his eyes and bad breath (he hadn’t brushed). We get to DDS and SS is sitting on my lap … his hair smells funny (reminder, BM doesn’t bathe SS enough). I look in his ears because ear wax has been an issue … I say, “I see ear monkeys, look daddy.” Then I look at his finger nails – they are filthy. It was raining her yesterday so it isn’t because he was playing outside. It was obvious that BM had not given SS a bath since she got him back on Monday (we gave him one on Sunday). I was disgusted!!

SS was awesome at the DDS, and they had great patience with him. SS needs to brush more, pay attention to behind the teeth, and floss more (he’s 4). They also said that they’d prefer a parent follow up with the flossing after the child. Okay, it’s all good.

We were supposed to drop SS off at BF’s house after we were done. So, we went out for snacks after the DDS, it was raining so we just took SS to BF’s house. BF wasn’t home, his van was in the driveway … hummm? (Quick reminder for you all BF is a consummate cheater.) DH calls BF’s house thinking he might be asleep or something (he doesn’t have a job). House phone forward’s to cell phone – BF isn’t home. BF stammers quite a bit trying to figure out what to tell DH about where he is and why he isn’t where he’s supposed to be. DH just says, when can you get here … 45 minutes. Okay, we’ll be back in an hour.

We come back and BF is home. DH and BF have 15 minute conversation (quick reminder BM cheated on DH with BF (DH’s former best friend) while DH was in Iraq in 2004). DH has been wanting to have a conversation because he feels if he can communicate with BF he might be able to get through to BM. I realize this and wait patiently in the truck for 15 minutes – talking to my mommy.

While BF and DH are talking … BM calls DH’s cell phone. I answer, “Hi BM, this is SM. DH and BF are talking, SS is home, DDS went great.” She says “oh, okay.” I say, “SS needs to brush more, get behind teeth more, no cavities, and needs to floss more. They said they want a parent to follow up with the flossing after SS.” She says, “oh okay, and goes on to tell me about SS dental hygiene (mind you she didn’t make sure he brushed his teeth on the day he was to go to the DDS). I just said, “okay, do you need DH to call you back.” She said, “no that’s fine, I was just checking.” We say good bye.

Among the thing DH and BF talk about are SS’ pronating foot. BF and BM took SS to doctor on Tuesday. Irony … BF told DH much more about SS’ pronating foot than BM. DH said, “BM didn’t tell me that.” BF just looked at DH and sighed, “I know.” They talk about other stuff and DH says, “I don’t understand why you guys don’t move in together, she’s here all the time.” In summary BF said he didn’t want to. Okay, but she is still there every night – whatever! Conversation continues … DH apologizes for his behavior toward BF, apologizes for some of the things he said (they were pretty bad), and then looked BF in square in the eyes and said, “I know how far back you and BM go.” BF was dumbfounded, his jaw dropped. DH said, “people talk. I think part of me even knew back then, but I just didn’t want to see it.” Conversation continues … ends … DH shakes BF’s hand and he walks away. Hopefully, DH’s plan of making peace with BF will help our situation, but I’m not holding my breath.

So, that’s the update on my end and why I was MIA yesterday … that and I had softball last night.

~ Katrina

Comments

goingcrazy's picture

That lady is just disgusting. Do you take pictures of his filth when you get him? That poor baby SOOOO belongs with you guys. Glad he finally got his dental checkup and and I think it is pretty cool that the rightful mommy got to be there for the first one Smile

As for DH, sounds like he is finding forgiveness. Whether it helps with BM or not, it will help DH. Anger is the worst evil!!! Hope things start getting better. Goodness knows you need it!

PS- How's the studying?

Mocha2001's picture

Thanks sweetie! We take pictures of it when we can. I've tried to take pictures of the ear wax, but it's hard to get that close. We just document everything ... I know the pronating ankle is because she doesn't keep him in good shoes. I just hope she took what the doctor said to heart.

~ Katrina

happy's picture

does not make my son take a bath, he is 8 and still in the phase of whatever the hygiene crap but still. like you i get very angry. i make him take showers/baths all the time. brush his teeth. but then you look at my ex, and well he is not the cleanest, nor does he brush his teeth. its grouse. my daughter does but there again she is 10 and likes to be clean and have white teeth. but as far as his hygiene with my son, i cannot wait till he finally likes girls for the reason of cleanliness. but there again my ss is 22 and i have never seen him use a tooth brush and not even sure he owns one and i have been in the picture for 4 years now. sick i know..
Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

Chocoholic's picture

Thats really sad....
BUT, I'm glad that DH tired to make peace with BF, it will be so much nicer when everyone can just move on and take care of SS the way he deserves.

happy's picture

that took a lot for your husband to do but more so i think he did it because he is happy with you and happy to be rid of her and that whole adulterous affair. i hope like you that his little talk helps his kid in the end and makes the ex a better parent. i think its funny that your hubby let him know that he knew for a very long time. oh to be the fly sitting there when he said that. if i were your hubby i would have shook his hand and said truly i thank you for doing what you did. LOL..

Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

luvdagirl's picture

We went through the same stuff with the hygene for a long time even up to 10 or 11 I would have to remind SD how to properly clean and when we'd P/U she'd need a bath right away. BM was trying to get $ up front for braces when SD still had baby teeth and wasn't brushing hardly ever. I agree W/ MOCHA and know how handy those records can be. My DH's EX-GF the BM was until recently married to one of DH's EX-Bestfriends and DH never did get the chance but says someday he'd like to thank him- I suppose BM wasn't guessing DH would see it that way when she started sleeping w/ so many of his "friends". Does anyone else think that these BMS get some sort of guide book or instructions to do this stuff????

Mocha2001's picture

They must have an instruction book ... but then if they did ... they'd know how to do it and not get caught!!!

~ Katrina