I am a teenage stepchild. Just reaching out to hear from other step moms.
Hi, I am a 16 year old step child. My parents divorced whenever I was 9 years old and my mother was abusive and an alcoholic. I know many children are harsh and unaccepting and try to bring the previous mom back into the picture, but I do not and did not ever want my dad and her to re-marry. I knew they had deep issues and did not need to be together.
My dad found his new wife and not too long after came back into the picture when I was almost 11. Everything seemed fine for awhile. I was a shy and awkward kid and didn't understand how to socialize with other kids. Because she was a little snappy and I was always just a bit awkward and clumsy I guess we just didn't hit it off.
Today we are still having issues. Very soon after she met me she began calling me manipulative. I have asked her why she feels that way and she said it all goes back to when I was 11 and I used to hide homework in my bag and say it was done because I didn't know how to do it and my teacher said I was sneaky. I'll admit I procrastinated and still have some issues today with it. She also distanced herself from me she said when I was 11 and she told me to wash up my dish and she swears that she saw me do a Nana Nana boo boo face at her in the window. Since then she hasn't been able to open up to me she said. I was also raised by a scorpio which she correlates with me being manipulative.
I get that term thrown around very generously. I have tried and still try to be nice to her even when I'm angry out of sheer morals. If I wash the dishes and there is a cup left out she thinks I did it on purpose. If I leave a drop of something on the counter and I say I seriously do not remember doing that she thinks I'm lying. I clean it up anyway but everything I say in defense of myself is assumed as a lie. My dad even didn't fill ice trays and blamed it on me and she didn't believe me for months when I said it wasn't me.
I tried to talk to her and get along and even tried calling her mom which she completely denied. And I understand you can't force emotions on people but my point is I didn't and don't hate her and I was TRYING. At this point I don't try any longer. I stay in my room and leave them alone but when I do leave my room it usually results in an argument.
Most of our arguments result from me getting angry when she snaps. She has very rapid anger that can snap on you in an instant and I am a person who likes my personal space and bubble and I feel like she tries to dig into me and is convinced I'm out to get her.
I get angry when we are driving usually because she gets rude under pressure. Very rude. I have been called an idiot before, retarded, she has said fuck you to me and just makes harsh comments even when she is joking about them I take offense sometimes. She casually called me a wimp and laughed while I was reaching for something in the backseat. I get upset and say something about it and how it makes me feel and that it's okay but at the very least can she please just apologize after a burst of anger? She normally tells me to get over it and that I want justice for everything and I'm not going to get one.
I tell my dad about the things she says and she says I am being manipulative by talking to him about her. My dad usually tells me she is the only thing I have for a mother so I should be thankful she buys me food and takes me to school.
She says everyone is a little manipulative and it's survival sometimes but she never points out anyone else's manipulation except for mine and has a negative tone when she does.
Another thing she does that annoys me and makes us clash is that I feel like she feels the need to be an expert on everything. She said she knows everything about me and how I manipulate and what I'm thinking and all about my mom.
They wanted me to live here but then she told me she didn't expect me to come living here and that it was very sudden and I was dropped off here and she just met a wonderful man and now knew that I was going to be in the way. They have already talked before about how he could move from this house once I was gone and could be together and I'm the only reason he's stuck here. I keep to myself usually and I literally will tell then to go on date nights if they want to and leave me home alone.
It was just a quick switch. My mom and I had a great bond and I was home schooled so I was overly attached to her and never left her side and even slept in her bed for years and we would watch movies together then I was suddenly cut off and had to leave her because she became abusive to me. My dad promised she would love me and be the mom I needed and I guess I had unrealistic expectations but it's a lot. I never really spend time with her or get hugged and it was just a jump in cold water.
I really begin doubting myself and start wondering if I'm manipulative and I even came up to her and said I'm sorry if I manipulate maybe I do it subconciously but I don't mean to hurt anyone. She thinks I try to purposefully make her angry or mess with my dad. I'm just emotional and my parents both are snappy and I hold onto things for a long period of time and just want an apology. And maybe it is manipulative to try and force an apology but I've been trying to not expect one.