Feeling like last priority

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Need to VENT !!
Where do I begin ??? It's a long one but I will try to cut it short , I've been with my partner for almost 3 years we we live 2 1/2 hrs drive from one another , from the beginning we discussed the distance and he assured me he would relocate . He has two young children with his ex but they had relocated to Canada we are in in the uk . Everything was perfect I have a son from a previous relationship and they got on so well an amazing relationship was built . We discussed closing the gap but he was finishing a masters and we agreed to wait until that was finished with . Having a child together was a big priority for both of us and agreed we wanted the same thing as age wasn't on my side and having fertility issues we decided over a year ago to see what would happen low and behold I fell pregnant ! The trouble began ! His ex fully aware of our relationship long before the pregnancy decided to return to the uk . Since her return she has dangled his two children like carrots she moved back to the same city he is living in and now he is more involved in his children's life than ever , I've only spent a handful of times with his children as she does everything in her power to prevent me having contact or a relationship with them . I am now 8 months pregnant and my partner has now decided now is not the right time to relocate for us to live together as he's afraid his ex will take the kids away again or restrict his access and turn his kids against him for having another baby . I'm now stuck pregnant and alone battling for my unborn child to have the security of the family life that we planned together . Every time he travels to me she finds a way to disrupt it and he falls for it every time , telling his two children that he has deserted them for me . I am just at such a low point and feeling like I now need to leave the relationship although I love him but where do we come into his life if his ex has him jumping at her beck and call . I am more than happy for his two children to come to spend time with us and build a family unit for all of us but he won't even give it a chance as he's so scared of the what she will do if she finds out I've been around her children . This is the short of a very long story full of constant heart ache !
HELP HELP HELP ! Any advice would be appreciated .

I've considered relocating

I've considered relocating but the truth is I have a big enough home here for us to live comfortably and a close family around me to help with childcare etc when I return to work, apart from the fact that I know my son will find it incredibly hard to relocate . My partner lives in a rented flat that is not big enough to accommodate us as he gave up the family home to his ex and children which I have no problem with as I would never be that type of person to see his kids go without . He also has no family there at all so as far as childcare etc and support around us we would have nothing and therefore would effectively be paying for 4 children in childcare for us to work .
The thing that hurts so much is that all this was discussed long ago but all of a sudden since I'm pregnant he can't leave his kids !!

Yes I hear what you're saying

Yes I hear what you're saying and I'm all for him having a good relationship with his kids I would never want anything else for him but she was back here in the U.K. way before I was pregnant and on many occasion we discussed what would happen if I did fall pregnant I gave him many opportunities to express his concern and consider if having a baby was what he actually wanted . He continually pushed for us to have a baby to the point we were under the fertility clinic and went through many tests. Me relocating has also been discussed on many occasions and he has always said that he would never expect me to move and that he will when the time is right ! Point being is there ever going to be a right time ??

I've considered relocating

Overreacting!! Really ? Sorry

Overreacting!! Really ?
Sorry but how would you feel if you've been through a bad relationship in the past got divorced and struggled emotionally and financially to survive to then eventually move on meet someone else make plans together then when you're 8 months pregnant to be left in limbo not knowing what is going to happen and once again I'm having to do everything for myself as my partners ex is manipulating and controlling everything and he is allowing it to happen ! Am I really overreacting trust me it hurts especially so far into a pregnancy .

Oops sorry hormones running

Oops sorry hormones running wild !

I can fully understand people

I can fully understand people keep commenting "he's just not that into me " I've said it to myself , trust me I have have walked before and he comes back on his knees crying begging me not to leave him, he has involved his mother and family and continually begs me to not leave and that he loves me but he's scared of the impact on his other kids . Be still maintains that he will relocate and wants to build a future for us but for me I feel he's had long enough to sort this out . I feel let down that I've reached this point and these issues have still not been sorted. I partly blame myself tbh as I've probably been too soft for too long even way before I was pregnant .

I agree with just-a-mom. Well

I agree with just-a-mom. Well said. Look out for you. Make sure he pays child support to help you out. Maybe if you move on without him, you will see him rebound back and ex will be ex again. Good luck.

Why should he be on the hook

Why should he be on the hook for all travel expenses when is making the choice not move? I happen to agree with her choice, but travel should be split 50/50.

This man made a decision that was based on his kids living in another country. Circumstances changed, so his choices had to change.

If this man intended to be in this relationship for the rest of his life, I believe he would have planned a marriage prior to having a child. Or at least put off the baby making until you are both living under the same roof.

None of this man's actions said he was committed to being in this relationship for the rest of his life. He could have moved whIle his kids were living in Canada and commuted back and forth until he completed his Masters. He made the choice not to. He could have had the OP move where he is. He made the choice not to.

When you want to be with someone, you find a way to make it work. When you're not really into someone, you grab hold to any excuse you can to keep from sealing the deal.

It's possible that having his kids move back made him rethink the choices he was about to make.

Yep. He needs to file papers

Yep. He needs to file papers and get the courts involved and have a real plan for custody. She can't restrict him this way. If there is no court approved plan for custody right now, then he has just as much right to them as she does and she has no more power over what they do or who they see than he does.

You need to stay where you

You need to stay where you are, near you family for support. File a claim for child maintenance.

He not prepared to stand up to his ex now he never will be. You need to do everything to make sure you and your child have a support unit around you. He will never do this as his first family with always come first.

One of the best pieces of

One of the best pieces of advice I received on here was listen to what he's telling you. He is telling you - he wants to be with his kids and you are not his priority. His new baby is not his priority. His "kids" are. My STBexH used to say that he couldn't stand his ex-wife but every time she barked, he ran. He tried to make me feel like there was something wrong with me. There wasn't. His actions showed me far more than his words every could. Please listen to what he is telling you. Stay put surrounded by your family and your support system - you're going to need it. But please, take your man at his word.

If you can't handle raising

If you can't handle raising your baby alone, you can give it up for adoption.

If you want to raise the baby alone, you cut ties with this loser and file for CS.

Those are really your two options here unless you want to raise your child where you're constantly begging for scraps while he chases after his ex to do whatever she demands. That's not a way to raise a child.

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Feeling like last priority