Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
I wish I could tell you how
I wish I could tell you how but I really dont know.. I'm trying to do that as well. I think I'm just not going to do anything for her... and I mean nothing besides feed her..
Z
I think it's different for
I think it's different for everyone. Some people choose not to do anything, others choose to just not correct the child. I have just recently decided that I am going to attempt to disengage. I have decided that I am not going to do ANYTHING that would be something a parent would do for their child. I will feed her, but only because I cook dinner for everyone. I won't correct her, buy her things, buy her gifts to give to other people, throw birthday parties, buy special food just for her, take her places/movies/dinner/ etc. I also will not offer my opinion about anything going on with her to her father. Of course, this is going to take a lot of discipline on my part.
This is what I posted on an
This is what I posted on an earlier post:
Just because there is a child in your home, does not mean you need to mother him/her. I NEVER have. The way I look at it, SK is here to see DH, not me. I have NO obligations. I choose when and how I want to interact with SK. MY choice, no one else's. If SK wants to go to the store with me, I just say, "No, stay here and visit with your dad. You don't see him very often." That is a solid reason not to have to have SK come along with me. And it isn't just a "no" where SK may feel rejected. It is a "no" with an accurate reason attached.
Just do your best not to be a bitch to the kid, and you should be ok
Disengaging is different for everyone. I chose to disengage because I SK doesn't recieve much discipline and watching the behavior be rewarded or ignored was making me crazy and angry. Plus, knowing that I don't have any rights to SK makes it easier not to feel obligated to be around every minute on visits with DH.
In our home, DH does 99% of things for SK. I come and go as I please, and I make plans to do things I want to do. I do make an effort to be there for some portion I the time during the visits, but I do it around my schedule not theirs. But this is what works for me and DH. I know other people, even in my own family, who think its wiers or wrong. HTH!