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Sds on

onebanana's picture

The post about made me think. What would you do if your stepkids were recording videos in your home or talking about your home on that site?
It's what my SDs did/do. I feel VERY uncomfortable about it but I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid and spiteful or others would worry too.


just.his.wife's picture

Block the site at your router. Parental controls are a wonderful thing.

onebanana's picture

Their laptops are taken when they arrive, as are their smartphones, though they already recorded some videos before they got grounded, and now they asnwer questions about OUR home when they're at their mother's.

They're here only every other weekend and they're grounded.

just.his.wife's picture

Ok, you have done the taking away.

Who pays for the phones/ laptops?
If its your DH, they don't get them back. Ever.
If its BM - advise her the phones and lap tops are no longer allowed at your house, if they show up they will be destroyed.
Then you have to make the penalty so bad they want to pull this crap off the internet and never replace it.

Stop taking away, start adding to

As in chores.
Wash all windows inside and out
scrub the floors on hands and knees
washing baseboards, walls, ceilings
clean the driveway with a toothbrush
Weed the yard.
scrubbing toilets, tubs, laundry room, behind appliances
wash the outside of the house

When you run out of shit for them to do, offer them up to friends/ relatives for deep cleaning services. By god if they are going to post on the internet that your house is hell... make it hell!

lillfiredog's picture

Let me know how that all works out... I can't even get mine to pick up a damn towel off the floor....

onebanana's picture

BM pays. They gave back everything DH bought them once their relationship got effed up.
They rarely bring anything over here, but when they do, we just take it and give it back when they leave. I would love to destroy it, but I just can't do that.

They don't do chores at all, they don't do ANYTHING here. Basically just sit in their rooms and stare at walls, walk around the house, or talk to each other. Their rooms are already nothing but beds and wardrobes with plain clothes, empty desks. We can't make them do, or stop doing anything since they don't react to punishment in any way. And since they're here EOWE, they don't bother to earn back any privilege.
So we can't really make them do shit or make them do other people's shit, nor we can make it hell because there is no way to make them do anything. We took everything away from them but the basics and it's only a day and a night so they don't even try to win it back.

Well, my problem isn't really that they say it's hell - though I don't like the idea of them saying it online, but that they give information about the rooms, what we have in the house,etc. Sad

hismineandours's picture

so whats the point in them coming over at all? How old are they? Do they actually spend any quality time with dh? If they are giving out personal household information and will not respect your privacy AND aren't spending any time with dh anyway-I'd simply cease visitations. I'm assuming they are teens. If dh wants he can go pick them up and take them to lunch or something.

onebanana's picture

13 and 15. They don't spend quality time with DH because they don't actually have a relationship with him anymore. They say they just "can't". Claim I'm the reason for that.
They keep coming because their mother makes them and DH demands it because he hopes they'll turn around.

hismineandours's picture

Well, then if you are the reason (I know you are not) but if that's what they want to say then again simply have dh take them to lunch weekly-twice weekly or whatnot. They will be out of your house and your hair. Dh will actually probably have more of a relationship with them because they will not have their rooms to hide in.

momagainfor4's picture

I've found videos that sd14 posted to vine when she was either at our house or in our car. My SO has no idea what that is. I hate to say for the fact that I'm afraid I'll be accused of stalking her accounts.