You are here

SD16 stole my money

onebanana's picture

SD16 stole my money from my purse while in a restaurant. In dollars, it'd be around 60 maybe. My husband gave me the money, HIS money, because the bitch spent all she took and won't pay back. Considering she's here every other weekend and already grounded from everything, just like her sister, there isn't much we can do. But I'm so pissed, I hate her.
I was stupid to leave the purse there, but I didn't think she'd take anything in front of people in there. But oh well, partially my fault. Partially hers for being a sneaky bitch.


onebanana's picture

That would end up on my husband's back - and I wouldn't do that to him after he already gave the money to me and disciplined his daughter. It's not his fault.

onebanana's picture

Because she's a minor and he's her parent - legal guardian.

I'm not in USA, so I don't know about NY or other states, but I know that here it wouldn't help at all. It'd just end up harming my husband and he doesn't deserve it - he's trying and doing everything he can.

boogeymom's picture

You should go into her bedroom and take $60 worth of her stuff, LOL.

onebanana's picture

I would! But since she's grounded, there's a bed, a desk, and a wardrobe with basic clothes.

boogeymom's picture

Hitting a teenage girl where it really the ego! Ratty hair? No clean clothes? So embarrassing for her!

onebanana's picture

Well, she doesn't brush her hair because it's curly, but I'd love to take her products }:)
And the clothes. Though, it IS the basics.. Like jeans, plain shirts, regular sneakers..
Though they're only here every other weekend (not even that much anymore because of the problems they cause) so nothing hits them. :S
I really, really hate them. They do shit on purpose to hurt and annoy!

boogeymom's picture

I can attest, as a curly-haired girl myself, if I didn't have my products, my hair would be a complete and total bird's nest MESS. If she's like me, the frizz will hit super hard and it will be really ugly.

onebanana's picture

I'm sure it would.
If we had them here more often, I'm sure DH could get them in line. Not sure if lucky or unlucky they rarely come.

StepmomDisgstd's picture

Lucky, trust me you are lucky that they rarely come. In my case, rarely is too often for me. :sick:

onebanana's picture

Well at least you found it, that's good! Smile
Because she confessed. Openly. And it took no pressure.
No I don't. She said she spent it while she was out so I assume it was food, drinks, etc.

onebanana's picture

Oh yes, I've been thinking about that.
The thing is that they've been trying to exclude me for a very long time so I figured not going would be letting them win, giving them what they want - but I probably won't go from now on.

onebanana's picture

I do kinda think you are right - but it's just annoying how they always have to get their way.

luchay's picture

Hugs. I get that too. The deliberate exclusion.

I totally understand where you are coming from.

NEXT time - instead of a restaurant for dinner take them to a park where you don't have to pay anything.... Tell her it's because she stole from you - the cost of that next dinner she *would* have had is being used to repay you.

OR - better still - go out to dinner and don't buy her a meal - ask her what she wants, check the price and mark it down in a notebook, and tell the little cow that when the total reaches $60 to replace what she stole THEN she gets to have a meal with you all again!!!

Ahhh never happen but it's fun to think it sometimes....

onebanana's picture

Thank you.

I'm definitely going to suggest taking them to a cheap or free place because they don't deserve to have money wasted on them, they just use whoever they can.

Starla's picture

Help me understand please. If you don't involve the police, your part of the problem which I can explain how and why but I hear that you don't want to??

MamaDuck's picture

Sooo.. she's a naughty kid.. and you don't want to go to the police because it'll end up on your DH...

My sister is a thief. She lived with me from 15-18yo, my mother kicked her out after she had stolen a grand total of about 5 grand (over a few years). my Dad kicked her out because she was stealing from him and his partner. My sister stole from a department store, police picked her up, I went in to see them and told them all about my sisters sticky fingers at home too, they said I NEED to report that stuff, that my parents NEED to report that stuff! And since the police said it to me in front of my sister, I told her I WILL ABSOLUTELY turn her in if she ever takes money from me! She has never stolen from me!

Not much happens after the first time with police, but for me, it was enough to send a message to my thieving sister that she better not touch my stuff!!

Your DH NEEDS to go to the police! It could be enough to send a message to his daughter that stealing in your home will NOT be tolerated! And the police can hold her responsible in other ways if she can't pay it back, my sister had to write a letter to me and my parents and go on a nature walk lol. How is that soo bad to 'put on your DH'??

onebanana's picture

My husband can't report his daughter because she's a minor under his care. I mean he can, but basically he's reporting himself and that would make no sense whatsoever.
The police can't hold her responsible because she's a minor with no income so it would fall on my husband. They certainly wouldn't make her write a letter or go on walks. First they would just sugget we sort it out on our own - meaning that SD, meaning DH because he's her guardian, pays me back immediately. If no, then we could file a report but since it's already returned we can't. What would be ordered - paying me back, already happened.

onebanana's picture

Nope, I don't want to involve them because the court would order that her legal guardian pays me back and he already did.

It would go to my husband's record as well, and it would be on hers only until she turns 18 - if she doesn't repeat it, it goes off. But it would stay on my husband's.

I would need proof to notify her school - and I don't have that. Not that I see a point in that, though. I don't care about her schooling at all.

onebanana's picture

She wouldn't squirm if we told her that because she knows how it goes - the court order would be that the guardian pays it back and he already did. But if it was any different I probably would actually report her. Not because I think it's actually a deed worth reporting but rather because she's always a bitch.

We can't make her pay back. Whatever she's told, she just says with a smirk "Or what? You'll ground me?" and then laughs like a maniac. She has no allowance and no stuff, so there is nothing else to take to make her pay back. She's here only every other weekend, not even that actually. We can't make her do physical labor, she just won't. She's like "or what?" all the time. And really - or what? She's grounded from EVERYTHING and so is her sister. We have no idea what to do with them anymore.
At least they're not with us often.

onebanana's picture

As I said - she and her sister are grounded. Totally, completely. Nothing we can do.

Disneyfan's picture

Didn't you have blogs about your husband not being able to control his kids? It was so bad, he had to ask BM to make them behave in your home because she's the only one who could handle them.

That brat took your money because she knows her dad is weak and you won't take action. Yeah, it's just $60 this time, but she's getting off easy. Next time (don't fool yourself into thinking it won't happen again) she'll take a larger amount or things that worth a hell of a lot more than $60.

The first time kids do stuff like this, they are testing the water. She just got a soft slap on the hand. That won't keep her from doing this again

onebanana's picture

What action can we take?
What would keep her from doing it?

Police won't. It would ultimately punish DH, not her.

Disneyfan's picture


Your husband created this mess so he should have to deal with tge back lash.

Those girls are not out of control teens. If they were, they would act out in both homes. They behave with the strict parent and act out with the weak one.

onebanana's picture

No, he did not create it nor does he enables it.

They behave with their mother because they live with her and they're here only every other weekend.
My husband has given them every consequence he could, but they don't care because they're here one night every other weekend.

onebanana's picture

He didn't.
He always tried to parent and discipline, but since he had little custody time ofc he couldn't.

He does discipline them, but they don't care because it's less than 13% of their time.
So no, he doesn't enable it.

onebanana's picture

Do you understand that the charges I pressed against her would do NOTHING to her, only to my husband?
Maybe she would get a record, maybe not, but even if she did it would go off her record in 2 years.

That is NOT a threat to HER.