Queens visit
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Will be in the very near future. Date has been set apparently. Interestingly it is mid week. I'm thinking I could never win any award for acting so how to pull this off? Haven't said a word to each other in over a year of hearing H and her on that phone mostly every day. Ugh!!! It's going to be days of sweet reminiscing as they usually do. Now in years past the red carpet was rolled out and special meals and sweets were prepared. That's not happening. I don't know if she really wants to pretend either. I work part time. Hopefully it will be most during the days that I work. But seriously I'm really stymied how to put on a smile. And H knows I am not happy.
Make yourself comfy, have a
Make yourself comfy, have a book or an ipad or your phone, the tv on your favorite show, a bowl of snacks and just sit there in your home and look up once in a while with a raised eyebrow. You have home field advantage, it is your home. If she's uncomfy daddy can take her out. You do not get pushed out of your home. Screw that static.
Im in Camp Disengagement
Camp Make-other-awesome-plans
I always have The Queen of
I always have The Queen of Poor Choices aka Little Idiot visiting at Christmas and along with that comes the preparations for her royal arrival. She usually stays for 10 days -2 weeks. It's the price I pay for her living out of state. I keep waiting to her to get another boyfriend and go terrorize HIS family at Christmas but that never happens. Solidarity.
The older I get, the harder it is to even be around her. I get why so many women reach a point where they are just over this whole stepmom thing.
Yes!!!!
And H doesn't get that we dislike each other. He doesn't get that I'm tired of pretending. She's visiting HIM. Not me. Nothing for a year. Not one text. Never ever wished me a happy birthday. Merry Christmas. You get the pic.
" The older I get, the harder
" The older I get, the harder it is to even be around her. I get why so many women reach a point where they are just over this whole stepmom thing"
So much Truth right there ! Feel even more better knowing I am not the only out there who also feels this same exact way. I have only grown to find being a SM that much more difficult to enjoy anymore as my age progesses as well.. You do end up hitting this wall where you just cant fake it any more. Just being polite and cordial when absolultey unavoidable which expends more than enough of my mental energy as it is
By they way, there was a time when I've hoped that my SD29 had actually made good on this spur of the moment whim to want to move to FL , Daytona Beach or wherever. ( some place that is 18 hr 24 min (1,165.9 miles) give or take away from me..Yes I totally calculated it too) Even though I always knew it was wishful thinking as it was just a little passing fancy on her part since no plan has ever even started to formulate so there goes that. Which is nothing new for her since she tends not to follow through on many things. Then again. I am thinking I might have to be careful for what I wish for after your comment. In some way, even if hundered of miles of distance were between us, I'd still wonder if it might come back and bite me in the ass.
Is this common?
I've read this thread with much interest...and horror. Is it common in step situations to host people you do not get along with? People who have treated you poorly? It appears the spouse is oblivious to the issues, or just ignores them...why is this so? To keep the peace? If so, that's a great example of dishonest harmony. Someone please help me understand this dynamic. There is no way I could have an unwanted guest in my home.
Yes
In my case there has never been any words with his daughter. That was played out years ago with their father. Then the kids were gone for many many years.
Then there was reconciliation. But never acceptance of me and my kids. There were visits maybe a few a year and with this daughter it's daddy enmeshment 101. All by phone. Several times a day.
H turns blind eye to her refusal to be a participant n our family. Yet when she visits the pretense goes into overdrive. I admit I've played along. Treated her like a queen. My kids could care less and basically were and are total strangers with her.
but now no more. I'm done pretending. Have not heard a peep from her in a year. H says she's coming for a week! My kids don't believe it actually. They think she will cancel.
anywsy.
Cancel that reservation.
Make a new reservation for the best table. Chefs table at McDonalds. Happy meal tasting menu. Go to fancy restaurant after SD goose's home. If I have no input in vacation plans. I will just stay home. Making plans for a vacation a adult vacation after. SK go home . DH shoukd make sure he's arrangeds his time to accomplish this.
'Don't play around. Your are a adult it's his DW. you will be respected. You will not be told where you are going to vacation by SK.