My ex girlfriend is pregnant, what do i do?
I am a father of two, with a formal divorce completed a few years ago.
I dated a girl for a couple of years and have been through a lot together, which hasnt gotten us any closer during our relationship. She has a son and I was a part of his life during the last year of it. We had 2 miscarriages following unplanned pregnancies, and dealt with the grief the best we could. It definately left scars on the both of us.
Now, we broke up and saw each other a couple of times when we were "lonely" and it was still clear that we werent chasing each other for a relationship. But now, i am finding out more information about what has been going on for the past 7 weeks.
She is pregnant and this time, not sure what she is going to do about it.
We have talked many times, both in person and on the phone about it. She has had a difficult time managing her emotions and has forced me to call the police in times that she would be banging on the windows and doors after arguments where she was not able to help herself but to lash out. She has made it clear that an abortion she had to have literally alost sent her to the grave.
She claims that she is 50/50 with her decision about keeping the child or not.
I have gotten through to her multiple times about how i feel like it was an accident, we are not prepared in any regard to having a child (living arrangements, financially, mentally, etc.) and shouldnt be bringing a life into this world with the way we can't get along. I am scared of not being able to providde my 8 and 6 year old girls a life they deserve with the way i am handling it currenty, let alone a life with another schedule and what feels like parallel life to be added to it all.
I am stressed about the unknowns of what responsibility i have to this decision. Ultimately, she can just say something like, Ill email you in 9 months and we can see what a lawyer requires of you. Or lets become friends and figure it out? She continuously believes that this is an option that we need to exhaust for the child, as i understand it is worth throught and time to make sure we do not regret any decision that we make, BUT I am not ready, and in other circumstances I could feel more prepared to handle this type of situation with a more stable foundation under my feet.
I am asking all of you, how do i navigate discussing this with her, after being honest and relaying the information about me not being able to see this as a positive decision of keeping the baby, and more of a "lets jsut wing it" feeling from her.
I feel broke all the time paying my kid's mother child support and their section 7 expenses day to day, and can't fathom adding another child into the mix while not being in any level of a healthy relationship with the mother.
I understand that i would need to support the child financially, I am just not sure how it all would balance out