Scared my child will be the same ( pregnancy anxiety)
This is my first and most probably only pregnancy (very high risk) I am terrified my child will have the same manners and behaviors of SS15 and SD11. I have been married for five years.
My DH and I tried and are still trying to do all we can to help them become better people but boy are we delusional! They are as entitled, ungrateful, and disrespectful as could be. I do love them. Don't get me worng but I am realistic about how they're shaping up, plus I am truly exhausted.
Now, I am scared out of wits that my child will be the same and that it's simply how kids grow up these days. Please help me overcome this anxiety.
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Kids grow up based on the standards of behavior and performance
Kids grow up based on the standards of behavior and performance they are raised with. There is no "these days" about it. There is either parental success, or parental failure. Focus on raising kids in a strong adult partnership to your agreed standards (the more stringent standard trumps). Never abandon those standards. Adjust as makes sense but never tolerate unreasonable behavior or failure to adhere to the standards you set in your home and family.
Set the standards of behavior, standards of performance, and enforce those standards with zero tolerance for anything less than compliance to those boundaries in an age appropriate manner.
KISS. It is not complex. Keep it stupid simple and if the kids fail to deliver to standard introduce them to increasing abject misery in an age appropriate manner.
Even with SKids it is possible to raise them to be decent people if there is zero tolerance for anything less. Though it is far easier if the SParent and the BioParent partner when the SKid(s) are young, they recognize each other as equity parents as well as equity life partners, and they keep the kids and any Xs/ILs/etc.. in their place. For older SKids, IMHO it takes an immediate zero tolerance full consequences hard line. They behave reasonably, or they live a life of escalating abject misery. Their choice.
Take care of you and raise yours with standards. The SKids may be a write off at this point. Whatever you do, do not tolerate the ill behaved failed family progeny your mate brought to your relationship to pollute the life of your own child.
All IMHO of course.
Good luck.
Your child will be unique...
Your child will be unique... share some genetics with them, but your home can be different than how they were raised... but you need to be vigilant that it wasnt your DHs parenting that led to this.
You have to parent your child
You start by teaching saying thinks like thank you.. please. As soon as they start talking. Your DH did not do this in with his kids. ''Can I have. Please water'' '' please have juce'' thank you for the juce. Again and again and again . That's how you start.