SIL wants to give guardianship of Nephew to us
SIL and I got pregnant a few months apart. Nephew is stb2.
A few days ago, I made a joke that SIL could just leave Nstb2 with DH and I permanently since we love him so much. She shrugged and said "Okay". I told her don't joke, I'd take her up on it. She said "No, I'm serious, take him." :jawdrop: Sadly, this doesn't really surprise me. SIL barely has a relationship with him and has trouble caring for him (CPS has been involved twice for neglect). We had a talk with her and BMIL today. SIL flat out said she wants to get to go live her life and do what she wants and go to parties and out with her boyfriend as much as she wants. She never really bonded with Nstb2 and told me that the other day she was supposed to be taking care of him and screamed at him that he was just a little a--hole and to shut the f--- up. She recognizes that that isn't motherly behavior (she wasn't in a situation that she was overwhelmed, she was watching him for 10 minutes while her mother went to the store).
BMIL says she feels like she failed another son. DH told her that 1) Nstb2 is NOT her son (repeatedly. Even had to interrupt her when he'd ask SIL something and BMIL would attempt to reply) 2) Giving him to his father, as much as it may have sucked for her, was the best decision she ever made. He told her (for the first time ever) that he knew about the neglect she had committed when he was an infant. She was mad that he knew, until he told her BIL had told him before he died. BIL had also shown DH the copy of DH's medical report showing how bad the neglect had been (he was malnourished, had a horrible diaper rash, a flat spot on the back of his head, and several other signs of severe neglect). He also reminded her that she had been evicted 15 times in 20 years, and he had only moved 2 times as a child. He had had a better life with his father and that was the best thing she could have done for him. He also told her that she should be more worried about failing her daughter by forcing her to take care of a child she has said she doesn't want the responsibility of.
Nstb2's father is one of DH's coworkers and is a druggie and bounces from couch to couch. He's all for us having guardianship, because SIL won't answer his phone calls. We have told him that he has to be sober for 24 hours before he visits, but that he can have visits at our house if he'd like. He was very excited about the prospect.
I'm still in shock a little. Financially, this is going to hurt us a little. I'm going to have to figure out what to do in November when I go back to school and in January when I go back to work. As it is, SIL is dropping Nstb2 off here at 2 tomorrow for me to watch while she is at work. As of Friday, she's going to leave him here for 2 weeks and have visits with him. I suggested that if she doesn't want to change her mind, that we continue it for 2 months before I file for guardianship. Anyone go through this before?? Any advice?