Stepson finally started working!! but he still acts immature
Hi
I'm sure some of you remember me. My boyfriend's 24 year old son who was jobless for 2 years post college graduation finally started working. I'm glad he's finally being productive but he doesn't have a great job. He has a college degree and guess where he found a job? At a grocery store! Why is he not working in his field? Its impossible that in two years he did not find a single job. It shouldn't take that long but whatever.
My boyfriend payed for his college education and he seems ok with his son working at a grocery store. I would be pissed! College is expensive and this kid is not appreciating anything. By the way, he lives with a friend now. First with us, then his girlfriend and now a friend. He's too immature to get his own place.
At least this job is better than nothing but you know what's really upsetting me? He wants to be picked up and dropped off at his job!!!! And there goes my boyfriend always running after him!!!! Tomorrow he has a shift and wants my BF to pick him up at 7 am at his friend's house. He takes the bus sometimes but feels entitled. He does not care to bother his dad who works full time and needs to rest. Last weekend was the same. Will the kid ever mature???
i don't know what happened to his car but apparently it was at the mechanic and then he decided not to use it anymore because he says the car wastes too much gas.
Sorry but I feel alone at times and I need to talk to someone about this.
A 2 yr job search is not unheard of.
I just ended a 26mo job search myself. I did do some lucrative consulting gigs during that time and applied for over 1000 jobs and had dozens of interviews including a number of fly outs.. The role I accepted paid 20% less than my historic income level and is 2 steps down from my historic span of influence. You adapt to the market of you don't work.
Depending on his degree, a grocery industry job may be a decent starting point.
With a degree the military may be a great option for him. He could go straight to OCS if he has no background issues.
Hi Rags,
Hi Rags,
thanks for your imput. I know in some places it can be hard to find a job but we live in a big city. In Los Angeles! In 12 years that I've been here I haven't had problems finding jobs. The kid is just lazy and unmotivated. He studied something related to computer programming so I'm sure there are jobs so I don't know why he'll end up at the grocery store. Oh well... it's his life but the rides to his job are too much. He's not a minor that needs to call dad all the time.
But it's okay for your BF to
But it's okay for your BF to waste HIS gas, carting the 24 year old around?
He may very well feel entitled but your BF is not helping the situation by catering to him.
Your partner needs to take
Your partner needs to take off the training wheels and let him fend for himself, otherwise it's just not going to happen. The SS will no doubt blame the dad for not helping him, blame him for losing his job because he couldn't get there on time....Yada Yada Yada. That's all fine, because eventually he will realise he is 24, needs to take responsibility for himself and one day turn into a decent human being.....Hopefully, but without initiating these things he will be a man child.
Guys I just can't do anything
Guys I just can't do anything. My BF has guilty dad syndrome. He will always baby his son but it's really starting to turn me off. I don't think I want to see this nonsense any longer.
It's strange isn't it,
It's strange isn't it, because technically it has nothing to do with you, as it has nothing to do with me either, but I struggle with the lack of ability to actual parent with my partner and it is a massive cause of frustration to me, to see skids just literally take the pi$$ out of her and the house.
It's not going to get any better for you and you will not be able to change him until he sees the change he needs to make.
Good luck.
Have you ever told him how
Have you ever told him how unattractive he is and what a turn off it is when he panders to another able-bodied adult? Remind him you want a man and not a nursemaid.
It's exactly that. A physical
It's exactly that. A physical turn off.
Seeing a grown man pandering to and scared of his own child.
UGH.