Why are stepkids so shitty?
For a little background, I've been dating my significant other for ten years. He has two children, a 16 year old and a 12 year old. They moved in with me in June of 2018. Their mother is, essentially, a non-entity. She's mentallly and physically disabled in a home. They visit her once a month or so. They were raised by a nanny who spoiled the shit out of them, waited on them hand and foot.
These kids know how to push my buttons. They're sweet when they want something, but in an instant, they turn into complete a**holes. Not only a**holes, but cruel a**holes. One of my huge regrets is I did not have children. That's for a different blog. Being with these kids is a constant reminder that I'm not their mother -- or a mother -- at all. My significant other is very laid back and doesn't jump in to defend me or put the smack down on the kids when they're shitty to me --- which is often. His reasoning is he doesn't want it to turn into a me against them situation and he's picking sides. I get that but they're really disrespectful. I have spent ten years with these kids and they're still shitty. My question is: How do you deal with these kids day in and day out knowing they're manipulative little brats and their father (or mother) doesn't do anything? Another thing, the kids are way shittier when their dad is not within earshot.