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helplessinptown's picture

I have been struggling with my SD almost from the beginning. Her father has always had full custody of her. I have a BD from a previous marriage as well so we were a blended family from the beginning. My SD has been in my life since she was 7 - she is now 14. Her mom isn't really in the picture as she lives in another state. Everything was great at first - back then I got along with my SD really well. My BD was 4 at the time. I found out I was pregnant a few months after we got together and since that moment she has always been hateful to me. It started out little, but grew with each day and year. Now it's to the point where it is causing major issues between me and her dad. I have nightmares about fights with her. I'm usually a very easy going well liked person, but something about my SD gets under my skin and she is the ONLY person who can push all of my buttons. 

I'm to the point where I feel broken and feel like I can't be a good mom to my other kids because so much of my effort goes into her. I'd appreciate any tips or stories from those of you who have been through the same thing.


Siemprematahari's picture

Does your H know how you feel? If so, does he do anything to try to remedy SD's behavior towards you? Have you considered disengaging from SD altogether and have nothing to do with her since she affects you so much. If she were impacting my sanity I'd remove myself from parenting her and allow H to do it all. Again not sure of how your H feels and if he's supportive but your mental well-being comes 1st.

Harry's picture

DH fault fir not parenting his DD.  SD does not have to like you but she must respect you, your home and your family.   Since SD does not like you and never will. You must disengage from her.  No buying her anything, bo cooking for her, no taking her anyplace.  No vacation for SD. 

Do not let her affect you. Put her in her place and that it.  If she fails in life that on her. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Is a flip in custody an option? You guys become the out of state and have her on school breaks? 

I am not usually one to suggest something like this but if everyone in the house is fighting and unhappy, it may be the best possible option.