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SD and SS broke my heart

defeatedsm's picture

I tried so hard to be a good stepmother. When I cooked dinner they gagged. Whenever I like anything it's dorky because it's "too white." Whenever I arranged a fun day I would hear complaints all the time. They called me disgusting and shouted at me and threw things at me. And my husband made jokes about how I can't dance either. When SS started stealing underwear from his sisters and taking pics of his private parts with my cell phone, that was the last straw. My husband chose to keep them out of our house for the sake of our marriage and children, and now he hasn't seen them in 4 years.

SD, now 17, has a baby by a druggie who is 19, and he can't support the baby because he just got out of jail. We suggested she get her GED and enlist in the Army, but she thinks that would be stupid and it's for uneducated ppl. Like me and DH I suppose. I don't think someone who just nearly failed eleventh grade should be considering college but that is her "plan." She keeps asking husband for money for senior pics and year book and prom, since it's such an "important year" in her life. I guess she has a lot of treasured memories from the boys locker-room she conceived her daughter in. Plus she told DH she thinks my car would be just right for her and her new baby, and we could pay her insurance. She won't be getting a job, so I don't know how she plans on paying for gas, but I don't think she will be getting a car anyways because she doesn't have a driver's license.

Just received a blistering phone-call from SS13 also. He thinks we need to send his sister child support for the new baby, and they are going to be evicted again.


emotionaly beat up's picture

Please, if your husband goes along with any of this, then perhaps you need to find a new husband.

SS13 is too big for his boots, and needs to mind his own business, it is not his place to be discussing his sisters financial affairs, and no one should have had that conversation with him, he should have been told loud and clear, this is none of your business.

Your husband legally does not have to provide financial support for his grandchild, but most grandparents do by way of buying essentials etc. for the child. But that is not a right it is a privledge.

Love the fact that she wants your car - what planet is she from actually. Smile

Look you know they are greedy, selfish, money hungry, ungrateful...and a whole heap of other things and you know their current demands should not be met. You don't say if your husband is agreeing to any of this. I hope not, but if he is you need to talk more about it. This after all may just be the first of many children she has, how much support does he think he can provide.

I would not give her a cent, I would if I wanted to buy my grandchild things that he/she needed IF I wanted to, but if things were sold or I never saw them again, I wouldn't even do that.

But as I said before SS13 needs to be put in his place and no one should even discuss the financial side of this with him. :jawdrop:

defeatedsm's picture

I loved the part when she asked dh for my car too. She built my DH up a lot, telling him that she wanted to name the baby in his honor and how much she need his support for this tough new chapter in her life, and how she was growing up and trying so hard and she was on the honor roll. I knew she was just going to ask him for money and a car, but he thought she would go to him for parenting advice and emotional support. Now DH is really starting to get it, he says, "she got pregnant in the school locker room and failed the 11th grade and she wants a car?! 'Hey dad, I just shit my pants! Buy me a car!' At least she isn't a hard core drug addict yet."

I was surprised she asked for MY car though. DH was really hoping she would grow up but she is still like, "Daddy I need more money for the baby! Please send me $2000 and don't forget a little something for your girl! I want an iPhone and an iTunes account! XOXO, SD"

The things she asks for are so outrageous that DH has to say no. It makes me wonder if she has any concept of money or reality. He hasn't even told anyone SD had a baby because he is so embarrassed. Not even family.

morgan_minx80's picture

Child support for the grandchild :jawdrop: is he joking? His daughter decided to spread her legs and have that baby then she needs to look after her financially and emotionally. Its called being a parent. No way on earth would I give her the car. She's shown herself to be irresponsible as it is. This is the wakeup call she needs to get into the real world and to realise that supporting and raising children is not easy.

Most Evil's picture

Please do not feel bad about these kids, they sound like horrible brats who are just meeting the karma train. It is a shame she decided to have a baby, but like they said, she is the one who laid down and created one, so now she can work wherever she can, and the dad can pay child support like everybody else. The boy needs to be put in his place immediately, he is probably next on the life ruining train. Where is their BM????!!!

defeatedsm's picture

The children live with their BM, who moved them 1000 miles away about 8 years ago. BM advised SD17 to stay in high school and not get a job, and helped sign her up for welfare. BM tells the kids their dad doesn't pay child support and that I stole their dad from her. None of that is true, but we can't really do anything about that. My DH is non-confrontational when it comes to them. He won't talk to the BM anymore, and when the skids ask for money he just asks some questions and says he'll think about it and changes the subject. He never really says yes or no, and doesn't really bend over backwards for them anymore. If they get really angry he'll just ignore them. When DH told BM we couldn't have them around our younger kids because of their sexual behavior problems, the skids told BM that we were lying and abusing them and she believes them. And she told DH he could never see them again

I think DH is devastated too. He said he takes back everything he said about SD being smart, and said he has come to the conclusion that she is stupid, slutty, and she doesn't listen, and if she won't do anything for her baby then he doesn't see why he should. He dreads talking to them because it is so depressing, and he hasn't gone to see the baby even though she was born a year ago. Sometimes I feel like DH can't ever be truly happy because BM and the skids are always in the background, tragically and deliberately failing in life, and blaming him for it.