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Skids think I am "too white"

checkedoutsm's picture

One of the things that drove me crazy about the skids was their constant put down of everything I liked or did because it was "too white."

They would talk about how they didn't like my church because it is a "white people's church" or the tv shows I wanted to watch were "white people shows," the sports I like are white people sports, the music I listen to is too white.

One time SD got in trouble for calling an Asian girl at school a racial slur. The skids are multiracial but they seem to have some serious problems with people's skin color. One time BM told DH that we were rejecting them because we are racist. I guess in interracial relationships people have the opportunity to PAS using racial discrimination.

Anyone else have skids that make racial put downs against them? How do you even respond to someone who says you are too white or you are racist?


realitycheckmom's picture

You are not alone and I had a math professor at university that I became friends with and she told me once that her family told her she was too white because she worked at a university and did not speak "ghetto". Then she dressed too white because she dressed professional. They complained she was making her son white. Her family was jealous because she got out of public housing and wanted better for herself and her son.

People will say anything including racist things to hurt people.

misskiya's picture

:jawdrop: I don't even know what to say here. Racism is racism is racism, regardless of what color your skin happens to be. Yes, racism against white people is still racism. What do the bio parents have to say about this? That's an unbelievable situation, and one that needs to end quickly.

checkedoutsm's picture

When they do it to other kids at school and get suspended then DH and BM talk to them about it. Other than that they don't say anything. BM probably makes fun of white people too. She makes fun of everyone. DH is checked out now also, if the situation is negative, he shuts down, disengages, doesn't speak.

Disneyfan's picture

When you find the answer, please let me know.

I'm black. DF is black, his kids are black. BMs are black.

The crazy BM has started a Disney thinks she's white and is trying to make my kids act white war. It won't be long before her kids start singing the same tune.

ThatGirl's picture

Your skids are racist, and it sounds like they get it from BM. How old are they? It might not be too late to teach them tolerance.

checkedoutsm's picture

17 and 13. it's too late. In 10 years we haven't even been able to get them to bathe regularly and brush their teeth.

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

BM² thinks SS is better than my kids because he is a lot lighter than my kids but my kids aren't even dark. She is way darker than me so with her logic I'm better than her? She won't let SS go out in the son fearing he will get darker. MIL said he's the same color he was from birth!

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

When she saw a pic of me before she met me she asked DH oh what the fat dark skinned girl isn't good enough for you that you gotta get with the skinny yellow boned girl? Sounds like she has serious issues with her weight and skin color to me.

Disneyfan's picture

OMG the whole light skin vs dark skin/ good hair vs. bad hair drives me crazy.

We took the girls to the Big Apple Circus. BM bitched about it because we didn't take them to the "right" one. I love UniverSoul Circus but we know BM takes them to that one every year. I try to expose them to things they won't get to do with their mom.

Unfreakingreal's picture

HAHAHA! I'm Hispanic and my kids, SKIDS and DH say "I think I'm white." It is the funniest thing ever. I don't take offense. If behaving like an educated adult, being involved in my childs education, volunteering at school, enjoying living the American Dream and constantly reading books constitutes me being White, well WHATEVER!!! I'd rather they call me that than GHETTO HOODRAT & ILLITERATE.

smileygirl's picture

I have 4 nieces/nephews who are bi-racial and I as others have said must say that they only racism these kids have encountered (that they were aware of) to date was from the black side of their family.
The first warning should have been when thier father didn't want to get married to my sister because his mother wouldn't approve of him marrying a "white girl". His family frequently speak poorly of white people...and compare and contrast the children's skin color, hair texture, etc. For quite some time this really destroyed atleast one of the childrens self-esteem.
I would make a case of this with DH. These BM so often forget how tied to thier parents their own self-esteem is. These children are already in a world that wants to link who they are/will be to thier race...add some racial confusion and racisim to the blend and you have a very damaged child.

herewegoagain's picture

I live in Puerto Rico, I am from Puerto Rico and growing up I did not have many issues with the friends that we had. However, in the public schools it was a different story. It was a nightmare. My entire family, as many here, are blonde/blue eyes, etc...I STILL get pissed off because although MANY claim racism, they are more racist than I could ever dream of being. Heck, I am not racist at ALL. I have dated guys from all different cultures, skin color, etc...but I am CONSTANTLY being told "oh because you are white...your kiddo is so white..." blah, blah, pisses me off. Needless to say, God forbid I tell them "wow, your kid is so dark"...they would freak and call ME a racist. I have learned that it is those who hate THEMSELVES the most and WANT to be "whiter" that are like this. Period. I see it time and time again. I even changed my hair color in the hopes that people stopped labeling me as "white" and making nasty comments. I never had ANY issues with my old neighbors, most of which looked like me...NEVER. Since I moved, it has been a nightmare. Again, it is really about their OWN issues, not about you. Don't bother with them. That's on them and not on you. Just this week I said "f#$%#$%ck them all...and dyed my hair back to my original blonde..." They don't like it, too bad.

realitycheckmom's picture

LMAO my exh grew up in Rio Piedras and the slur was blanquito...he was too white. When we were there everyone thought he was a gringo and I was Boriquen. You can't win.