You are here

When skids ask Dh to get back together with BM

checkedoutsm's picture

This drives me crazy. Whenever the skids got in trouble it always turned into "Why can't you and COW just get back together?" DH was like "Wow, the kids opened up to me and I guess they are having a hard time with the divorce!" Please, you just got angry at them for lying to you, then they start crying about the divorce? It was 13 freaking years ago! SS was 1! He doesn't even remember you being married to his mom! Glad DH finally saw through the crap and said "That's never going to happen, so you need to get over it. I love checked out and my life with her, and I don't want to hear crap about getting back with COW anymore." Anyone else have skids that ask their DH to go back to BM all the time? My skids are teens, it would be different if they were babies.

Comments

oldone's picture

I am well into my 60s and have known many children of divorced friends (male and female) and I don't know a one who has ever expressed a desire for their parents to get back together.

Maybe a 4 year old would say that. But any kid old enough to understand divorce seems to "get it".

I was very, very close to my best friend's girls and also knew her ex pretty well too. The girls and I have even discussed how their parents are now friends but just weren't meant to live together. They brought it up not me.

Kes's picture

SD16 had a file on FB of pictures of DH and BM together with SD and her sister entitled "The Golden Age".

pulledandpushed's picture

Oh yes! My SS just turned 14 and he still hints at them getting back together. Last Christmas, he wanted my SO to spend Christmas morning at BM's house so they could all be together like a 'family', despite me being in the picture for 2 years AND having a baby daughter with my SO! He's 14 YEARS OLD for crying out loud! SO and BM have been divorced for 3 years. It's INCREDIBLY frustrating to the point now where it is really affecting me. I do so much for SS and go above & beyond to make our family be happy and this is what I get in return. So many tears shed....
SS is rather immature so I shouldn't be surprised at his lack of understanding, plus SO and BM have catered to him his whole life so he assumes they will do this for him too.

Anne Boleyn's picture

I had to deal with that at CHristmas, our first one in our new home. BM and SKs want things to be the way they used to be. Since their divorce, FDH still went there Christmas morning. I changed that this year as I was not going to do that and my son shouldn't have to go to FDH's ex-wife house on CHristmas. It was a huge battle but I won and we had a nice Christmas with new traditions.

tryingmom's picture

When BM's life is good, she is all about building up the boyfriend at the moment being perfect. When her life isn't going well, she likes to re-live with the Skids how wonderful their life with DH was. (She likes a man who doesn't get in her way, provides his paycheck for her personal fun, pays all the bills, and doesn't mind her cheating ways).

We deal with the "why can't you and mom be together again?" crap when BM's life isn't going well. In the past 8 years, its been about 5 times. When my DH and I were dating, she was telling the skids that Mommy and Daddy are getting back together, never telling them that she had been married to her DH for about 3 years. In the past year and a half its been a rollercoaster ride for them, she has moved them in and out with her man of the moment 4 times. DH always addresses the subject when brought up as I know you'd like that but it will not happen. Tryingmom and I have built a good life and we are happy and in love.

Its frustrating to no end, but I got some advice from a friend who has boys from a previous marriage and her son's go through a cycle always throwing this up at her when they are feeling bad in their life, she told me it never goes away, its like a bargaining chip for her boys.

RedWingsFan's picture

Yep - SD14 was on a campaign to get DH and BM back together a year after they split and he met me. Once she knew we were serious about our relationship and I wasn't going anywhere, she pulled out all the stops. She was 12 then and that continued until we got married last June. She's 14 now and is estranged from us, because she didn't want us to get married and "won't support us"...

bi's picture

haha! wth makes her think you need her "support"? she sounds like sd20. i can't wait to see her meltdown when she finds out about this baby! that will be reality tv worthy, i'm sure!

RedWingsFan's picture

Exactly. That's why DH told her that if she didn't support our marriage, she was no longer welcome at the reception. She didn't come. I was happy about that because with her being the attention whore she is, she would've created a scene. She's been ignoring DH pretty much ever since. Even his family.

bi's picture

it just cracks me up because you know she thinks she's punishing the 2 of you. all she is really doing is making your lives easier! she probably thinks every day that dh doesn't hear from her is sad and lonely for him. it is amazing what these narcissistic cretins convince themselves of.

sd will make this baby all about her. she will be all over fb whining about how horrible we are that we never told her (so she could wish harm on the baby and me), she wasn't invited to the hospital (so she could relive her birthing experience to everyone as if the baby and i aren't the reason they are there), we are keeping her from her brother (that she won't want anyway), it will go on and on. because you see, everything we, especially I, do is about HER. but, i have the dumb bitch blocked so i won't have to hear any of it. and honestly, i don't care how she feels or what she says. i'm going to enjoy my life with my kids and she can F off. i hope she chooses to punish us just like your sd is punishing you and dh!