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Pick a winner!

Over_it's picture

My skids have ony been pulled up on their manners by me at my home. And I've constantly said to DH 'sort out their manners and ettiquette before their filthy habits rub off on our 18 month old daughter'. As a school teacher, once upon a time I thought it may be useful to create some 'house expectations' together - I figured, usually kids adhere to rules if they have some input in creating them. One of the expections is:


PFFT! That's effective NOT! Call me a drama queen, but these kids are seriously feral - I can say that it wasn't their faults when they were little, but now that they know better they can accept some responsibility for their rudeness.

We had the skids this weekend just gone during which time I asked SS10 to get his finger out of his nose about 3 times. So tonight I sat BD19mths in her chair to wait for her dinner to cool a bit, and stood in front of the TV to catch tomorrow's weather on the News. I thought, 'Gee, she's quiet' and turned to find my angel faced daughter with her index finger planted firmly up her nose. I was horrified. DH thought it was hilarious - I could have kicked him! "IT" has begun. My daughter, who at 19 months, always says please (peez) and thank you (tah) is now picking a winner too.

Another rule I'd like to inform SS10 of: 'KEEP YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM YOUR FACE OR YOU WILL NO LONGER BE WELCOME IN MY HOME'... Uh, it not enforcable though - he'll still visit his Dad if he's unwelcome by me...

So what to do to nip this in the bud? How do I protect my daughter from BM's bad parenting? BD will look up to her half-siblings, it's only natural and she doesn't know better at this point but any advice on how to stop the 'unlearning' they bring with them? I'm really serious about their feralness and this, to me, is worth leaving over - it's like the straw that broke the camels back.


caregiver1127's picture

Over_it I hate to tell you this but all little kids around 18 months to 2 years start to pick their noses and I hate to say it but they also eat it!! :sick: :sick: My DD5 started doing this and she had no shame about eating her boogers because they do not understand that it is really gross - I would keep telling her stop it but she kept picking and eating her boogers. She said she liked it and she wsaShe stopped when she was about 4 and then this past summer she started up again and I said to her I thought you stopped doing that (believe me the relief I felt when she stopped was immense) she told me I did but I still like to do it so I am not going to stop - I realized that the more I got on her about it the more she did it when I stopped my harping she stopped doing it again about 6 weeks later - she does not do it anymore.

I asked the girls at her daycare when this all started if this was normal and if perhaps there was something wrong with my DD (as she is my one and only) and they just laughed and said all the kids do it - also men are notorious for picking their noses - just watch men driving in cars, when I used to take the train into NYC when I lived there almost every man on the train would do it - I think it is a male thing more than a female thing - I mean everyone picks their nose but I think men just think it is okay to do it in public whereas females are more discreet - lol

So don't freak out and don't blame your SS only - your DD probably say your DH do it as well!! Wink Wink Also no this is not worth leaving over and remember that you are the parent to DD and yes while your SS's are around and she will idolize them she will come of an age where she with proper teaching (which she will get from you on a daily basis) will find it all gross too - she is young and like my DD5 who also idolizes my SS17 this past summer she was happy to see him go back to his mother because he was driving her crazy and some of the things he did she did not like and she is only 5 and picked up on some habits of his that she did not like. So no don't leave hubby just keep teaching your little one.

TheWickedStepmom's picture

Well my goodness... are y'all not human? Do you NEVER get a hard crusty thing stuck just at the inner edge of your nose where it tickles and drives you insane and when you try to blow it out there is just SOMETHING that refuses to let it go??? Wink

All joking aside, it is VERY normal. I have had 3 19 month old kiddos and they ALL did it... even the first one who had NO siblings to look up to and follow suit after.

But I will say that YES... your little one is GOING to pick up some things from the older siblings. But if they are things that you don't want dd doing, you discipline her for the things she does that bothers you. Your dh's lack of discipline and guidance does not mean that you have to raise YOUR child that way. Smile I had a lot of moments where I would get ticked off at dh for not disciplining HIS children for things and then it seemed as though my kids were ALWAYS in trouble because not only did they have to follow MY rules, but also dh's rules because I would back him up even if he didn't back ME up with his kids. I STILL get SO angry about it because he used to tell his kids that he didn't "agree" with my rules like curfews or letting us know where you are at all times... well I don't AGREE that my kid should be chewed out for not facing all of the plates the same direction in the dishwasher, when I have always loaded them facing inward either... but guess what... I even changed the way I did things so MY KIDS were following YOUR rules... asshole. Sad

Ha... I rest my case. See, I get upset with it even now and I haven't dealt with sk's living with me since 2008!! My sd is notorious for calling EVERYONE names in a "joking" manner. She walks around calling my kids "crazy", "dumby", etc. Well, now my dd10 does it. I have gotten in her crap several times in just the last 3 or 4 days telling her that I don't care WHAT sd20 does, you do NOT walk around calling people names even if you are just kidding... it's rude and hurtful.

The only way to protect your daughter from dh's parenting is to parent her the best way you know how. She'll be just fine in the end because you cared enough to parent her at all. Smile