Ever distance yourself to allow needed space and look like a bad guy?
I feel like I can’t win in this step parenting gig. My older SD had an open house last night at her new middle school. So, my DH was going to attend with her and meet her mom there – no biggie. At one point, my DH asked if I would like to go, I said, “Thanks for offering, but I think that would be a good thing for you and BM to attend with SD.” I then made plans and went about my night. Fast forward, I get home and ask how the school event went, and he says, “Good.” I ask if he and BM thought it was a good school etc…and he then tells me BM’s boyfriend went too. Now, I was trying not be overly involved and leave that night open for SD, DH and BM. But because boyfriend went, I look like I don’t care and I feel bad my DH had to endure a night with those two weirdoes. I just feel bad. He said, it wasn’t a big deal, and that I can be as involved in parenting his kids as much as I like….but what the hell does that even mean? I try to do the right thing (give space, allow SD some events with her parents) and it bites me in the ass. This has happened before, I decide to allow some space and I look like I don’t care, which isn’t the case – I thought I was doing the right thing. I am not doing well at this step parenting stuff. I wish there was a manual
I also have been dealing with my noninvolvement and boundary issues with the BMs. I may have mentioned prior that my DH has two children from two relationships (marriage and a girlfriend). Children are about 8 years apart. The BMs used to dislike each other very much, now they are inseparable. They claim to be dear friends…I could care less. But, one of the BMs runs a daycare and the other BM has decided to take her daughter, my youngest SD, there for daycare. I want to puke. It’s bad enough they hang out all the time, now this. The girls actually told us about it, the BMs didn’t let my DH know - weird. I am currently trying to have a baby and I do not want my DH’s ex to be the daycare provider, but with all this, I wonder how that will look…probably the same as always, that I am a major bitch. It stinks to be the one to have to establish rules and boundaries. I need a drink. LOL.