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BM gets a new fling and the kids look like a hot mess

jlot's picture

my SD's BM has a new girlfriend....and now that she has moved in, I have noticed SD looks like a hot mess (dressing herself in non weather appropriate clotes, messy hair, needs a bath, etc.). I think everyone should be happy with someone, but I notice SD is not getting taken care of in the same fashion..she isn't homeless looking, but seriously she looks a mess when she comes over, which is a far cry from how she normally looks - all done up and matchy matchy.

Do you all notice the kids get a little neglected when the BM or BF gets a significant other?


skylarksms's picture

My skids were old enough to take complete care of themselves by the time BM found someone who would put up with her skanky ass! So, I can't tell if they are more ignored than normal...

Isn't it sad? What a thing to teach your child - they are less important than your Flavor of the Month

jlot's picture

That's what bothers me...this child was her whole world..she didn't have many friends (BM) and now, she looks like a totally different kid. Just messy like.


skylarksms's picture

Unfortunately, you cannot control her life when she is with BM, you can only control what happens at your house at this point.

What does your SO think about it?

jlot's picture

We only focus on our house...I just made an observation. I noticed she had summer clothes packed and we live in a cold part of the country...and her hair was hanging in her eyes. Before she was always done up - sometimes too much in my opinion - but since she has a new fling SD is packing her clothes, her hair is a mess and she needs a bath everytime - that's fine. I just decided that I would buy some extra clothes (pants, sweatshirts, etc) to keep here in case she comes over illprepared.

She is only 3 so she can't really take care of herself. Smile

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Yep. BM3 is having relationship problems right now and I notice SD4 is a wreck when she's over here. Insecure, needy, whiny,'s a big pain in the ass. I've talked to BM3, but she's clinging to this guy for dear life and can't see the forest for the trees. I guess it doesn't matter how much the relationship damages SD4. BM is happy.

Ssamantha's picture

Whenever our BM gets a new girlfriend, the kids actually look better. For some odd reason, BM can't wait to introduce the children to her new girlfriends and these women always end up spoiling the kids to get in good with the BM. When BM has them by herself, the kids rarely get new clothes or anything. But last year when she introduced the kids to three different women in four months, the kids made out like bandits!!