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And she blows...

drainedandataloss's picture

Submitted by drainedandataloss on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 4:23pm

BM had a total melt down, flipped the switch, and blew. SD called DH bawling said BM and her were fighting and BM shoved her down the stairs. BM was kicked out of the house (she lives with her parents) so DH picked up SD. SD told me later that BM said she was going to kill her and that BM said all kinds of nasty things about me, then SD told me "but don't worry, I know she's just jealous of you". BM's parent's let her back in the next night then called SD to tell her that they were only going to let BM stay if she saught psychiatric help.

Is it just me or is this whole situation screwed up. SD is calling BM a crazy loonie and hasn't talked to her since the incident Wednesday. But I don't think the grandparent's are any better to call SD up and tell her things like that. She's 11, though she can form her own opinion of the situation, I really think she needs to be kept out of what she can be kept out of. Or am I wrong? All I know is SD should not be living there! That's the justice system - thanks to the judge that couldn't make a decision. Bla

Comments

peaceofmind's picture

Submitted by peaceofmind on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 4:41pm

My SD12's mom is crazy too. A lot of things happened in front of the poor kid. I know she saw a lot more than she should have, but I think it helped her to understand why she can't live with her mom anymore. I think for sure she should be left out of a lot of things like that.

Synaesthete's picture

Submitted by Synaesthete on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 5:17pm

I agree with your SD having too much told to her. She's 11 and can think for herself, but that is a lot for an 11 year old to cope with. She needs to know that her mother is sick and it wasn't right for her to treat her that way or say the things she did, and now they're trying to help her get better. No extras, no tidbits, no passing on of comments. It just isn't necessary and half defeats the purpose of removing her from the situation for the timebeing.

I hope BM's parents do make sure she gets psychiatric help, as that kind of behaviour is clearly a sign of something bigger. Shoving a child down the stairs and threatening to kill her is downright abusive. I know it's ultimately up to your DH, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with SD being back there for longer than a few hours at a time until I knew she was seeing a doctor or some kind and some progress was being made.

In the meantime, take good care of SD. Let her vent or talk or ask questions if she needs to, let her know you and her dad are there and she is safe and try to shield her from the overshare of the grandparents as much as possible. I hope she's and you all are okay.

iwishyouwould's picture

Submitted by iwishyouwould on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 10:14pm

Take it back to court and try to get custody - use that crap to get sd out of there. I agree... no 11 year old should have the burden of that knowledge.