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Loony, Loony, Loony

WalkOnBy's picture

I swear to Dog if I didn't know better, I would swear she is a skid.

We got an offer on my grandmother's condo. I met my mom and my agent at the condo last night. As I was driving over there, my dad called me. "Uh, who wrote the obituary for Grandma?"

me - no one. She didn't want one. What are you talking about?
dad - oh, shit. well, there's a very long and interesting one that was in Sunday's paper
me - WHAT????? I will call you back.

I pulled over and googled my Grandmother's name. I then proceeded to read the most passive aggressive bullshit obituary I have ever read. Aside from the grammatical, etiquette and factual errors (she used the wrong date of death, for example) it was such a pile of bullshit like I have never seen. Loony didn't even name my mom as Grandma's daughter.

I called my dad back after I left the condo - and yes, we accepted the offer. While I was busy condo-ing, my dad called Loony back to learn a little more about the circumstances. This piece of crap cost Loony $2000 and will run for the next three weeks. It also mentions a celebration of life that will take place in the future. Grandma didn't want a celebration of life, but Dog forbid Loony respect my Grandma's wishes. The last line of the obit gives an email address for people who are interested in attending the memorial service to respond. I think I am going to have some fun with that email address }:) }:)

Grrrr.............such a skid move. I really hate that See You Next Tuesday.

Comments

WalkOnBy's picture

her problem is that MY parents took her and her brother in when her own parents tossed them aside. When their father took off, their mother was going to put them in foster care, because it's really hard to turn tricks when you have a 3 year old and a 6-week old.

both of her idiot parents are now dead and she has absolutely sainted both of them and vilified my mother, the one who raised her stupid ass.

I am in the middle of drafting the most epic EFF YOU letter ever known to man. She is going to read what I have to say to her.

WalkOnBy's picture

Who knows? Everything was left to my mother, and while all Loony had to do was ask for the dolls and other things she wants, she will get nothing. My mother has decided to let me handle the estate and its contents (she was a 94 year old woman who enjoyed spending every dime she had, there's very little left) and there is no way in HELL that Loony will see one thing from that house.

Unless I decide to smash the dolls into tiny pieces and send them to her in a box. My version of a horse head in her bed.

Tuff Noogies's picture

oooo oooo i wanna see it!! and your response when it's ready }:) Blum 3 }:)

she is such a wackjob. and effing lunatic.

Maxwell09's picture

Could you possibly email the paper and tell them what they are publishing is incorrect and to retract it. I would think a mistake as big as her D.O.D. Would be good enough for them.

WalkOnBy's picture

I didn't have time yesterday-I am going to call the paper today. However, I suspect because I am not the one who placed it that they will not allow me to correct it.

WalkOnBy's picture

It's mostly factually correct, although the date of death is wrong. At the end of it, it takes a weird "fuck you" turn that all who have read it responded with "passive aggressive much?"

I wouldn't call it defamatory, and I have decided to take no action. I have gotten a few phone calls from my grandmother's friends asking why I ran it since she didn't want one - lol!

I have explained to all who ask or need to know that the family didn't run the obit and that there will be no celebration of life done by the family, as per my grandmother's wishes.