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OT - Need encouragement on my new healthy lifestyle

onehappygirl's picture

I can't diet - I always fail. Instead, I have to embrace a new lifestyle. I need your help. I need encouragement. I need accountability.

Here is the ugly truth. I am 5'2", small boned. I weigh 204 pounds. I'm 40-years-old. I wear a (gasp) size 20 petite jeans. I carry most of my weight in my tummy, butt and thighs (I'm a definite pear shape).

Thank the gods, Truelight is a butt man - to him, the more the better. My weight does not bother him. He doesn't like bone thin women. However, I'm not healthy, and well, there are certain things I can't do anymore, and I miss doing those things if you know what I mean. I don't have the stamina I used to have. That's a big motivator - that and I want him to want to show me off. Instead of women asking me how I got him, I'd like (for once) for men to ask him how he got me. Is that terrible? Truelight is to me (and other women - I've seen them admiring him and then giving me the full body WTF look) - well, he's a good looking man. I want to be a well-matched, good-looking couple. Even he, though, has gained in the past year, and I will try to get him to exercise with me.

I have asthma which occasionally flares up - not as much now that I have quit smoking. I also have arthritis and it has been killing me!! It's in my hips, my ankles, my knees, and my back. When I wake up in the morning, I can barely walk from the pain.

I can't live like this anymore. I have no excuse for being the size that I am. It's not like what Oprah says - that there's some underlying reason why I'm overweight. I'm not depressed, I'm not stressed. I like to eat - I LOVE to eat! That's my downfall - that and I don't exercise.

That is going to change. Instead of going out for lunch and grabbing McDonalds, I've been getting Weight Watchers frozen meals. I'll have that and a piece of fruit. Instead of a fudge poptart or sausage biscuit for breakfast, I'm having yogurt and a banana. If I want chocolate, I have a cup of hot cocoa instead. So far that has curbed my craving - even while I was PMSing.

My friend here on Steptalk, Sia, lives close to me. She and I are going to start working out and walking together at a local church's gym. She will help me with my accountability.

If I don't put all of this ugly out here to you, I will keep it to myself and not even try. Please, please help me out.

Current stats: 204 pounds, size 20.
Short-term goal: 180 pounds, size 18
Long-term goal: 135 pounds, size 8-10

Comments

Amazed's picture

GO GIRL!!!!! You can do this hot momma!

*busting out the pompoms* Don't make me get out the cheer skirt and do my Spartans routine!! I have faith in you my happygirl, you will get there Smile

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

onehappygirl's picture

Awwwww. I've made a promise to myself. When I lose 40 pounds, I am booking myself an hour-long massage at a very nice spa.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

JustAnotherSM's picture

You CAN do this!

I'm a few inches taller than you, but had a freak out one day when my scale was WAY too close to 200 lbs. So, I started making habit changes much like you described. I traded the chips in for carrots, donuts for fruit, etc. It WILL make a difference! I lost 25 lbs in 1 year just by making good eating decisions (I couldn't find time to exercise). It was a slow and healthy process. And the eating changes became permanent. Since then, I've had 2 children and I am still maintaining my weight. I have so much more energy when I eat right and I no longer crave the yucky, greasy junk foods.

Good luck to you! Remember that your body is a temple. Love it and take good care of it! Smile

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU CAN!! And if Barbie has to get out the skirt so will I and if you see me in a short skirt then I PROMISE you will be shamed into doing it if nothing else!!! Wink

Seriously, I am very proud of you for admitting all this out in the open and I'll be right here to encourage you along the way!!!

Jon-Boy's picture

Eating healthy is tough at first.
There is so many easier ways to eat. But it's all junk.

My wife and I are doing the Herbalife diet.
We are loosing weight. Eating healthy, feeling more energy!
Unbelievable I know...

We are in a weight loss challenge. this helps the motivation.
But the cool thing is the nutrition you learn from Herbalife.
they don't care what diet you use, you can use any diet, but they teach you nutrition and how it works.
And in a nut shell all I had to do was learn my calorie needs for a day of doing nothing. No exercise.
And I took that and reduced my daily calorie needs by 500 calories. so instead of a 2000 calorie diet I eat 1500.

Now here is the kicker.
LOW FAT (hard to do I know)
High protein. (also hard to do)

I here is how I calculated my daily needs.
1500 divided by 4 = 375
So I eat aprox a 375 calorie meal for breakfast lunch and diner
Now the other 375 left over is for healthy snacks and protein bars.

I eat 6 snacks a day and I eat every hour and 45 min.
And I am never hungry.
And i am not kidding I have been the winner every week at our weight loss challenge.
I am loosing on ave 2-3 pounds a week.
I know men are lucky in terms of weight loss. It just happens easier for us.
But still.

Be a crack head. pull out the calculator and do the math.
Prepare to always have everything so you never run out of healthy foods, or Mcdonalds will help you with your diet!

We also started doing the Wii Fit Plus.
It kicks ass!

Elizabeth's picture

We are right here to support you! I lost 75 pounds about 10 years ago. It has gradually crept up on me and I have regained 20. So I'm trying to concentrate on eating healthier. I herniated a disc in my back in September and so can't do much in the way of exercise until it heals, so dietary changes are the only way for me for now. Keep us updated!

Sia's picture

I'm extremely overweight too...hence the reason I am walking with you! I HAVE to have a buddy, or I wont do it. Diets also don't work for me....I just end up thinking about my weight and food all the time. I am slowly changing things, so hopefully it will get better.

i hope we both can lose some much needed weight!!!!!!

Stick's picture

Best of luck to you too Sia! You guys can do it - you have each other and all of us to lean on!

The protein / Atkins diet has worked best for me whenever I dieted. But I like meat.

It is super hard to give up carbs... but wow... if you want results to get you motivated... it works fast.

You can do it!! And don't forget the new CLOTHES!!

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Stick's picture

OneHappy - You can do this!! Smile And the most fun part will be SHOPPING for new clothes!!!

And I have to say, that I would think arthritis and being in pain would make exercise difficult. Are you on medication? My mom is on Methotexate, and while it is really harsh on the system, it has helped her arthritis immensely.

I know you can do this. You sound motivated and you have goals. PLUS - you sound like you got a little somethin' somethin' extra pushing you!! Wink

One day at a time girl... YOU can do it!!

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

soverysad's picture

Onehappygirl and Sia - you can both do it!!! You've all ready done the hard part. You've admitted you have a problem with no excuses and you have a plan!! Go, go, go!!!

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Pantera's picture

You can do it!!!

I have arthritis also and was told by my doctor to do yoga, pilates, or simply walk. All of these exercises do good things for you body.

Lean Cuisine Pizzas are pretty darn good. And Smart Ones Chocolate Chip Sunday is Awesome!!! There are alot of good low sugar and fat free chocolate products out there, you should give them a shot. I have alot of experience with dieting, lol. Weight Watchers and exercise worked best for me.

Good Luck Smile

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Bradybunchmom's picture

I am in the same boat as you. I am slightly shorter than you and weigh a tiny bit less, but am still in a size 20 petite jeans. I want to start working out for all the same reasons as you. My fiance loves me just the way I am and loves my body, but he is HOT, and I would love to be able to go out with him without feeling like I must have trapped him by getting pregnant or something lol. I think my downfall is I have 7 children at home full time, and I am super busy, and get stuck eating the kids convenience foods quite often.

So me too! me too! I wanna work out too!

onehappygirl's picture

If you can get a walking buddy, I think that's the best way to go. Sia and I are really going to have to be tough with each other and make ourselves do this.

I live in Louisville, Kentucky, and we have an entire week of Derby activities. One of them is a mini marathon (13 miles) I would love to run the mini-marathon one day. I used to run before my daughter was born, and I loved it!!! Maybe I can get to that point again. If not, then I'll just have to walk.

Another reason - I want to look completely hot in a sleeveless dress - showing off my cool tats - and flaunt my tight, bodacious ass in front of the Wookie!!! Ah yes - she who always made fun of my butt - which her ex-husband loves to smack! I have a ghetto booty - now if only I can make it look like J-Lo's.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

Stick's picture

Awwww The Derby!!! Someday I really want to go to the Kentucky Derby!!! I LOVE to bet the horsies!!

And ooooh how fun!!! NOW there's some great motivation!! A new outfit and showing off to the Wookie!! Smile

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

stepmom008's picture

Don't be afraid to reward yourself. I've actually talked about this with my doctor because I've lost too much wait and really have no interest in eating. She said that if I set baby-step goals for myself to encourage me to eat and I meet them, there's no shame in rewarding myself. Set realistic goals and you might have fun meeting them knowing that you're going to treat yourself. Good luck!!

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

HeatherM's picture

You can do this. I have no magical cures or words of wit, I've struggled all my life to maintain my weight, I'm one of those girls who if she's see's a burger gains weight (before eating it!) ... anyways, all kidding aside, of course diet and excercise is important, but so is loving yourself just as you are. It sounds cliche, but the happier we are with ourselves right now, the easier it is to not need things like food to fill the void... there is a saying 'think thin'..and although I know it's not easy to think thin when you feel large... it works. So think.. hey.. "I'm one happy girl, I'm hot, I'm good, I'm awesome"..or whatever you want to say, and say it every morning, and force yourself to write down one thing a day that you like about yourself... you'll be fine! Smile

belleboudeuse's picture

We're with you, OHG!!!!!

The nice thing is that you live somewhere WARM! I live in MN, and right now it's too freaking cold to go out and exercise. Winter's what kills me -- I'm cold all the time, so I just want to carb load and chew on sides of beef.

Walking is AMAZING -- if you can build up to an hour a day, and eat right, the pound will melt off, and your legs will look amazing!

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

onehappygirl's picture

LOL!!!! Warm? It hasn't gotten above 25 degrees in the last week - and it's supposed to be in the teens most of next week. It is unusually cold, though. We are usually in the 30's. On days I can't exercise with Sia, as long as it's over 30 degrees, I will take my little dog for a long walk.

Has anyone ever tried those shoes that are supposed to shape your butt? If so, how did they work for you?
______________________________________

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

belleboudeuse's picture

Wow, how can it be that cold in Kentucky?!!??! What messed-up weather.

Here it's currently 14, which is the warmest it's been in like a WEEK. We live right across the street from the fitness center where we go, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm going to make it over there today -- the thought of being outside for the two-minute walk is very unpleasant! I may have to promise myself a martini when I get back to serve as encouragement to go over there.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Amazed's picture

Hey! I'm 5'4"...how come petite jeans r too darned short on me? Then I go for the regular women's size 8 and end up w jeans too long...I have to take them to my tailor to get them to fit right. Am I in the wrong petite department? Lol I end up w really short jeans then end up wearing them as summer pants w flipflops. "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

Amazed's picture

i know I hate waiting for my clothes!! I need instant gratification when I've spent money! lol

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

I'm only 5'2" and petite jeans/pants are always too short for me too so don't feel bad. The clothing companys just do not make clothes for normal people, that's all I can figure out!

Kb3Hooah's picture

WSM, I'm 5'1 and petite as well - The ONLY jeans that I have found that fit in the waist and the length are American Eagle jeans. Smile

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Oh yes, I actually love American Eagle jeans! But what in the world happened to all their cute tops? Blech! Everything looks like it came from my grandma's attic lately... so thin you can see through it and the V-necks to the belly button and the fitted tops made for 5 year olds with no shape! Yuck-o!! I sure wish they'd stop these trends soon!

Amazed's picture

All of my jeans are from express...I believe the cut is Eva in an 8. They're a little long with flat shoes but it still works and they fit AWESOME on my bootilicious butt! No gap at my back or anything...LOVE THEM.
Pricey though Sad I'm not down with spending almost $100 on jeans...I ain't no paris hilton over here.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

I'm such a hard to fit jeans girl! Soooo not fair! I refuse to spend over $50ish for jeans too. Here's a funny for you... my current favorite pair of jeans cost $1.00... yep... ONE DOLLAR! I was at our city recycling center dropping off some plastics (yay me! haha) and thought hmmm I should look through these jeans to see if I can find some pants for yard work and flipped through and low and behold the most perfect pair of Calvin Klein (don't laugh) jeans fell into my hands. They were nearly brand new. I wear them ALL.THE.TIME!! Best pair of jeans I've had in years and years!

Everyones Interest's picture

Just wanted to jump in with my congrats to you for bearing your soul and committing to a healthier you!

So...I'm in the same boat. I'm normally (almost) 5'4 and 125pounds. In less than a year I shot up to 180!!! Stress, depression, uhhg!

I recently joined a gym (have only gone for the assessment) and the trainer, who also has a degree in nutrition, recommended The Paleo Diet.

I've been on it for a month (with a little break...okay a long break over Christmas) and I've lost 10 pounds without increasing my activity level at all.

I won't go into it all, but with a little planning and re-thinking how you eat (steak for breakfast?!?) it isn't that hard. I'm never hungry and actually felt kinda' high the first week I was on it...tonnes of energy!

I also take liquid iron now, as the trainer said all women should be on an iron supplement. I feel great with lots of energy! Now all I need to do is find the motivation to work out instead of spending said energy on the Internet!

Good luck OneHappyGirl and Sia! Keep us posted on your progress!

***Life - It's not a rehearsal***

onehappygirl's picture

That is a great idea!!! I think I'll try this - at least as much as I can.

______________________________________

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!