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YSD- reaching out? Thoughts?

zerostepdrama's picture

YSD and I have never had words, issues, etc with each other.

She hasn't been my favorite person because she's DH's "little princess" who can't do anything wrong. She's smug and entitled and overall I don't really like her personality. Plus she was a reporter for BM and that caused a lot of drama. Of course this was years back as I have had no relationship with her in over 4 years and very little interaction.

I think at times she got caught up in how her big sisters felt about me and the issues we had. I feel that at times she got caught in the middle between her sisters and BM.

I ran into YSD at Wal-Mart a few months back and it was super awkward. But it got me thinking about things and about her. Wondering if she's changed. Wondering how I have changed. Wondering if things could be civil between us.

I am always on the path to moving forward and forgiveness. I feel that I have given OSD and MSD multiple chances and I fell 100% comfortable in that their last chance was indeed their last chance and that I am done with them.

With YSD I wonder sometimes about her... if we could have a relationship.

She's about to be 18 and graduated.

But then again I think- why open a can of worms? Why even invite the possible drama into my life? I feel like any relationship with the skid is letting BM into my life- either by having to hear about her (and OSD and MSD), or having her (and MSD and OSD) know about my life.

Last month she sent me an IG follow request and I deleted it and ignored. She sent me another one today.

In some ways I am wondering if that is her way of an olive branch. (Am I being naive???) or is it her way (and BM's) to be nosey?

What do you guys think?

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

That is what I would like to do but it makes me so hesitate... like what if it's a mistake.

zerostepdrama's picture

You know the SM paranoia is at a level HIGH!

Maybe mistake isn't the word I'm looking for. I guess regret. I don't want anything bad to come out of it and regret that I opened up a bit.

ETexasMom's picture

I worry if I unblock mine on Facebook they will use any post that DH is tagged in to whine about us doing things without them.

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

Instagram is not a relationship. Inviting you somewhere to spend time with you and get to know you as a person = relationship.

Just my opinion.

zerostepdrama's picture

Being a teenager I wonder if this is her way of trying to communicate with me. Trying to open herself up to me? Us adults know that this is not the right way to go about these things... but kids and kids these days... it makes sense maybe?

I would think there would be more of a "relationship" on FB then IG but I don't think she gets on FB very often.

zerostepdrama's picture

Agree! It's not like I have anything on IG that would be so awful for anyone to see.

zerostepdrama's picture

Yes I think it's very big for teenagers.

As long as my profile is private no one can see it unless they follow me and I am careful about who follows me. (I got hacked once and it sucked! Lost my original account).

zerostepdrama's picture

Okay so I let her follow me and I sent her a follow request and she accepted it.

She has hardly any pictures on it. But I have seen her comment on SIL's IG posts, so I know it's a real account that is her's. She may have 2????

My older niece used to follow her and tell me some of the crap she would post and I did not see any of that so I am wondering what is up with that.

zerostepdrama's picture

LOL! That is what I figured. Even though this account has a ton of followers and she is following a lot. Like in the 1,000s

DaizyDuke's picture

Listen, if I was to send an "olive branch" to someone and that branch was flat out rejected? I would not be sending another one. You have to wonder... why the importance? Seems to me there is some ulterior motive here. I get wanting to let by gones be by gones etc. MAYBE when she is no longer under BMs roof I would consider... but not now.

zerostepdrama's picture

Well I already did... LOL... But I have zero issues with revoking that access and not feeling bad about it.

I do question the urgency around it. Or the repeated request. Doesn't make sense. I guess this is a mystery for Silk Stalkings! Blum 3

ETexasMom's picture

I always think about this too. Like should I unblock the steps on Facebook and let them friend me if they wants?

zerostepdrama's picture

For me... FB is more personal then IG in terms of interacting so I would not accept a FB friend request from YSD even though I accepted the IG request.

And if this had been OSD or MSD I would have ignored. They already showed me their true colors. I'm done "trying" with them.

Disillusioned's picture

I've always let my SD's dictate the relationship with me. If I were to receive that invite from one of my SD's, I would accept. If they never send an invite like that, it's okay too

I think since your YSD sent it to you, twice now, and that you think there could one day remotely even be a relationship maybe it wouldn't hurt? Maybe yes she is trying to reach out...

My YSD sent me a FB request a while back and I had the same dilemma. But in the end I accepted. We don't communicate a whole lot via FB but every once in a while a nice message.

My OSD would never send a FB friend request to me, and I'm just fine with that.

Again, I think that it might be different if you sent it to her but since she took the initiative, maybe consider following her lead...