BM gets richer and we get poorer- but there is an upside!
Kind of an update to this post: http://www.steptalk.org/node/203397
CS says that it is the correct amount. So while DH was paying $441 for 2 kids last year, he is now paying $569 for 1 kid, even though his income hasn't changed. Yeah doesn't make sense but whatever. Only option is to get a lawyer at this point. Not gonna happen.
With arrears BM is getting $950 in CS per month. That is more then our mortgage payment.
This has really had me pissy and resentful again about the skids and BM and everything involved with Step Hell.
DH has most of the disposable income and he pays for a lot of our traveling, eating out and stuff for the house (fixing things, improvements, etc). So while this amount wouldnt affect our bills, it does affect our social life.
But then I got to thinking. Okay in 9 months DH should have the arrears paid off. Once the arrears are paid off the amount wont seem so bad. And once the arrears are paid off, its very unlikley that DH will ever owe arrears again. So that chapter of our life will be closed.
In 2 1/2 years YSD will be 18 and graudated. I can handle 2 1/2 more years. Then all the skids are adults!
DH and I are still going to be the same people. We are going to still be hard workers. Nice people. People who work for what we have. BM, she is most likely still going to be HER. She is still going to be greedy, selfish and looking for ways to work the system.
In 2 1/2 years, DH and I are going to have everything that we have now (own our nice cars, own our home, the traveling we have done and will hopefully continue to do, a happy marriage) and then some. Plus all that extra money from not paying CS.
BM will still have her miserable life.
She may have a nice little income coming in from CS right now, but it wont last. I hope that she buys all nice stuff and blows it on eating out and shopping and traveling, because that is all she is going to have at the end of the day.
If DH is ordered to pay a certain amount of CS by the courts, it is what it is. I cant disagree with that. Does the HUGE increase make sense, hell to the no! Was it fair that BM collected CS for MSD for 9 months when MSD didnt even qaulify for CS? Hell to the no. Does it suck sooooooooo freakin bad to think how much money was basically "handed" to BM by DH- YEP. But I know for DH and I- our lively hood wont be affected by BM in 2 1/2 years. Her- she is in for a surprise and is going to be broke.
As nice as it would be to have money just handed to me, for doing nothing. I know I work hard for my money. I know I do the right thing for my kid. I know I am living a good life and doing the right things. That I can deal with.
Happy Monday!
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Comments
I think we just have to stay
I think we just have to stay positive and think about the end. No other way.
It just bothers me so much- BM is greedy, lazy, works the system, talks so much shit about DH to the kids, is raising her kids to be just like her, is just a nasty person in general and she gets the CS. Me on the other hand- my ex owes $10,000 in back CS and I pay for everything for BS, encourage a relationship with his dad, actually drive the hour + one way to get him to his dad and I get screwed. I know its like comparing apples to oranges. But how do the good people always get screwed?
Just have to think positive. Feel blessed for what I have going on and not stressed over what I have no control over.
You are so right. We still
You are so right. We still have 9yrs but that's 9 years that we will get promoted in our career fields and continue to make more money and BM will continue to work in a bar and think she's getting one over on us. We will see who gets the last laugh when she is broke at 50 when the CS runs out and we are feeling like we hit the lottery because she isn't getting $850 of his income every month.
BF's mother is just like BM. She was never a good mother and always worked dead end jobs and expected men to take care of her. She called BF a few months ago in tears because she 60, owns nothing, doesn't have a job a man or a relationship with her kids. BM's life story.
Oh I know exactly how you
Oh I know exactly how you feel! When SD came to live with us DH was actually ordered to pay more CS to BM for SS due to some old arrears while BM pays us nothing for SD.
Those arrears will be paid off in January and then she will get about $200 less each month. By that time, we only have 2 years and 2 months (not that I'm counting) until we never have to give her another dime. I've already got my car picked out too.
Meanwhile BM will likely still be unemployed and living off child support from baby daddy #2 assuming he actually pays it. She has another 13 years to mooch off that guy of course but it won't be my husband's money supporting her lazy ass at least!!
I got $11 last month in CS. I
I got $11 last month in CS. I took BS to the movies on that
If I make it the 10 years
If I make it the 10 years until skids age out, it will be amusing to see what BM will do when the $30k a year child support ends. She has never worked and will be around 50 at that time. My guess is she will be collecting CS from husband number 2 and will have moved on to husband number 3.
I've told DH that we should go to Hawaii the first year he doesn't have to pay child support. Due to skids, we only had a two day honeymoon in NYC. If we survive BM and all her crap, we will definitely deserve a second honeymoon.