Help! He's biting...himself
Ok stepparents - have any of your skids (toddler age, my ss is 4.5) ever bitten themselves? Ss4 has bite marks on his arms and says "I bite myself sometimes". When I asked him why, he said a variation between "I don't know" and "I do it when someone/something bothers me" He name the dog as one reason but I've never actually seen him bite himself around the dog. The thing is, only one bite mark looks fresh. The others look older. And we just picked him up from BM yesterday...and he said at first he doesn't bite himself at BM's, but then got vague about it later.
I don't know what to do! Neither FDH or I have noticed this before and we're at a total loss. Anyone have ideas? I know the basic psych 101, but I don't want to make assumptions either.
:?
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Take him to the doctor!!!
Take him to the doctor!!!
I would talk to BM and see if
I would talk to BM and see if she has noticed this or any other new behaviors. It will be important to note any behavioral contrast. You'll want to make sure everyone can take a team approach when t comes to behavior management.
Also- ask yourself- what is happening immediately before and directly after the biting.. Make sure that no one is inadvertently reinforcing the new/problem behavior with attention or escape from demands (two typical culprits).
As a behavior analyst- I make my living helping families and schools to arrange their environments in ways that make engaging in "good" behaviors result in the biggest/most reinforcing payoff. That being said, I often find myself feeding into my SD4's attention-seeking behaviors. Unfortunately.. As long as I continue to provide her with that reinforcement (attention)- she's just going to keep doing it.
BM isn't forthcoming with
BM isn't forthcoming with anything that goes on at her house. She never has been and when we try and do things to help ss she objects. (he was sick for over a month, we took him to the Dr and she got mad. Said that's her job...except she never took him to the Dr) In regards to when he's biting, neither FDH or I have seen him do it yet so we can't intervene. We'll be looking out for it now but until then all we have to go by is what ss said tonight to me. Any thoughts on what to do if we do catch him biting? (thank you for your input, it's a huge help, truly)
i have the same problem
i have the same problem except my kid is a little older, there is really no good why to handly this. It could just be he is hungry or needs attention or he is mouthing (i think thats the word, like what puppies do to naw away their baby teeth)
he should be evaluated,
he should be evaluated, biting like that in little kids is like cutting in adolescents and adults, easier to deal with a physical pain you recognize as physical pain than an emotional one you can't express or can't cope with. Lots of people will scream disorder but this is in some ways just a child's in ability to know and express what is going on around them. He states he does it when something bothers him, and he probably can't really tell you what because he hasn't developed the skills to do so and proper coping skills. Counciling can help with this and for the parents to carry that over to home.
My son used to bang his head
My son used to bang his head into the hardest thing he could find when he was frustrated. It was just that he couldn't express himself, but he was 2-3 when he did this and grew out of it. I would take him to a therapist to work on coping skills. It does sound like he is upset and just doesn't know how to release that anxiety, pain is real and tangible so he can make that happen and have control. He needs to learn healthy outlets, and soon! Good luck!!!
He should be checked out.
He should be checked out. This is sometimes a product of sensory issues and there is a "release or comfort" from it. I doubt that he will truly harm himself, but from experience, he needs to be evaluated for sensory issues, autism, ADHD, etc...somewhere there lies the answer for you.
Thank you everyone for your
Thank you everyone for your help!! FDH and I really appreciate it
We're going to monitor and see if we catch him doing it so we can gently distract him and let him know we won't let him hurt himself bc we love him and see how that goes. And if it keeps up, he's going in for an eval.
On a similar note: (since I was up half the night thinking about what might be causing ss4 to bite himself instead of studying for my final exams this week, I'll just call this on the job studying for my developmental psych class...) ss4 has bad dreams sometimes - what kid doesn't - and usually he comes right into our bedroom and wakes up FDH and I to either crawl into bed with us or just get a hug and then go curl back up again. However, recently he hasn't been doing this. I didn't think about it until last night/this morning, but the last week he was with us (we have him every other week) he did this a couple times also...right after we got him from BM. We always let him know he can come to us with anything that's bugging him, especially if he's scared and he says "I know, but I didn't want to wake you up" (granted, FDH works 2nd shift so its not always fun when ss comes in at 6:30 AM, but we never scold him for doing it)
Is it just me...or is it seeming like everything is rotating around problems at BM's house?? ALL of these behaviors happen w/in the first few days he's back with us again. And since BM doesn't like to talk w/o yelling (bc apparently FDH is Satan, I'm sure you know the drill) we don't know how to ask her wtf is going on at her house.
Ideas? I could just be bonkers from it being finals week, but I'm not so sure.
"SD11" (she's not really a
"SD11" (she's not really a stepdaughter as FH isn't her biodad and she doesn't want anything to do with him/us anymore, but whatever) used to and still does bite herself as well. When she's angry/frustrated (esp with SD8 and SS10, which is often), she will bite her fist. She's been to doctors and therapists to try to find solutions for this, but to no avail. Since she was a baby, she's had anger problems - I never thought it possible for a BABY to have anger issues, but from birth, she's been treated poorly by her own mother, and even her siblings - she now lives with her maternal grandparents. She was also diagnosed as have mental health issues, and she still pees herself (for attention? Possibly). FH told me that BM doesn't want any tests done on her brain because he suspects that BM is afraid that they'll find neurological damage that was done when she was a baby (ie. shaking) - she was a month old when BM and FH got together, and alot can happen to a baby in a month. But yeah, get him checked. Then, at least you'll know the root of it all and work towards finding a solution.
Hmmmmm, I didn't know that
Hmmmmm, I didn't know that there can be an issue like this.
What if you buy something he can bit instead?
Did you already figure out what to do?
Helen
My blog : ruban LED