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24 Hours of Temper Tantrums and Whining - I'm going to pull out my hair!!

young-sm-to-be's picture

Submitted by young-sm-to-be on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 12:47pm

Whenever ss4 comes home to us from his BM, he's a little sh*thead. No manners, full of attitude and ready to fight and whine and be a brat. Which is frustrating because at the same time, he's very clearly missed us and wants to hug us and have us pick him up and hold him. Which makes me think this is all BM crap that she's worked up to tick us off (she has a history of doing sh*t like this) This gets none of us ANYWHERE because all it does is confuse and upset ss4. I don't know if she gets some stupid satisfaction out of confusing and upsetting her son, or just doesn't care because it means that we get an angry/sad child for a week and that makes her sick and twisted mind happy, but this has got to effing stop. FDH works 2nd shift, I'm a full time student and not even a week post-op from surgery. FDH's parents are NOT helpful (didn't even feed him yesterday when he was with them for 5.5 hours while I had classes) and I don't know what to do. SS threw a tantrum within - literally - 5 minutes of being awake. And about 40 minutes later, threw a second one. And then a third about 30-45 minutes after that one. And now he's with his dad and saying mean things (directed at FDH) and I'm at my desk at work and can't do anything but offer advice to FDH as to how to handle the tantrum. I'm SICK of this, and I'm running out of ideas. I've suggested to FDH to suspend privileges (like TV), telling SS that his words are hurting him, to walk away from SS and ignore the tantrums (bc they're likely for attention), etc. But I'm running on empty (very little sleep and in a lot of pain from surgery) and I don't know what to do.
Aaaaarrgghhhhhhhhh

Comments

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 12:51pm

I emptied my FSD3's bed room of everything but the bed dresser and night light. she spends her fits in her room with NOTHING. I understand what you are going through.

young-sm-to-be's picture

Submitted by young-sm-to-be on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 1:00pm

I'm seriously considering doing something like that. SS is pitching fits about FDH's ex-wife and wanting to see her (just to use her phone, because "daddy doesn't have that game on his phone" or bringing her up constantly which I don't usually mind since she was in his life for a long time, its just grating on my nerves this week) and will not stop interrupting (conversations, sleep, study time, phone calls, you name it), he is in pestering mode (is told we will do ___ in a few minutes, and then proceeds to ask to do ___ right then, right there over and over again), etc. He also all the sudden gets mad whenever FDH calls me "momma" (like "hey momma") which FDH has always done and he's never objected to before.
I'm at my freaking wits end. He is not usually this bad, and all I can think is that BM did something to spark this behavior.

young-sm-to-be's picture

Submitted by young-sm-to-be on Wed, 03/21/2012 - 1:02pm

That's been my approach in the past and its worked/helped. I think FDH (who was not raised w/that tactic and forgets to do it sometimes) is feeling hurt and lost - like his son - and isn't sure what to do.
I'm furious at BM bc I'm pretty postive she induced this and all it is doing is hurting SS. He's just a child. While his behavior is sending me up a wall right now, I love him to the moon and back and don't like to see him this confused.
I hate being at work when I'd rather be with my son helping him with this Sad