Rules for Manipulating Your Parents
. Deny all knowledge and involvement of any charges against you. Sounds like: "I wasn't there", "It wasn't me", "I don't know anything about it".
2. Blame someone/something else. Sounds like: "[brother] Ben did it", "the cat/the wind/the random neighbor kid did it", "I don't know how that could've happened."
3. Feign illness. Vague symptoms like headaches are an excellent way to disorient your parents without having to produce actual medical symptoms.
4. Compliment your parents; they'll never see it coming and it will disarm them immediately. Sounds like: "Mom, you look pretty today-seriously!"
5. Smile and look cute. Big eyes are key here.
6. Suddenly start being helpful; grab a broom, a plunger, open the dishwasher. Just look busy.
7. Do a crappy job at any task you are explicitly asked to do; they'll never make you do it again.
8. Act like you didn't hear them. Invest in some good earbuds so this excuse seems plausible.
9. Hide bigger crimes in smaller ones. Your brother/mother/father will notice the gum you just stole from them before they realize you also grabbed their $10.
10. Excuse oversights by saying you were doing your homework and just forgot.
11. When you want to wear something that won't meet parental approval, wait until they are in the car so they won't notice. If this strategy can't be employed, wait until the absolute last minute before leaving the house so there will not be enough time to change.
12. Guilt them. Sounds like, "Why do you hate me?" "You like Ben more than me." They'll feel sorry for you and cave in to your every wish.
13. Say "I love you" out of the blue. This helps build credibility for future swindles.
14. Seek alliances within the family. This principle is not just effective on Survivor.
15. Maximize your relationships with extended family members when your parents have somehow caught on to you. Remember that grandparents are an especially easy target for exploitation (think gum, cash, gifts, favors, privileges).
16. Change the subject. Sounds like, "I love it when you make this meatloaf for supper!"
17. Last resort: cry and say you're sorry. It's critical that this sound sincere. Who can yell at someone who is crying? An unsolicited hug won't hurt either.
18. Play your parents off each other. This is an oldie, but goodie.
Golden rule: Believe all of the aforementioned rules as gospel; if you actually believe it, it must be true.
SD ~ has done everyone except
SD ~ has done everyone except # 17 ~ never sheds a tear ~
This in term is why I believe she is a sociopath !!
Unfortunately I have a #19,
Unfortunately I have a #19, (believe me I don't take suicide lightly) 19. Threaten suicide when your family makes you accountable to shape up. Even though if you get so much as a paper cut you run around like Leatherface got ahold of you.(and you're a male)
And ... Apply the blank
And ... Apply the blank stare for a long period and follow with a "Huh???" or "Whuuuut????" when someone finally screams you out of your coma facade.
Or, just tell your parent
Or, just tell your parent that you don't want to come to their house anymore and would rather stay with the other parent! That works every time here!
Ha, ha. My SD pulled this
Ha, ha. My SD pulled this one. It backfired, though.
I think my daughter17stb18
I think my daughter17stb18 wrote this list, unfortunately.
Drag your feet at all times.
Drag your feet at all times. Never be ready to leave the house. This is especially useful at p/u and d/o when you have both parents captive and neither one wants to get firm with you because they are too busy being awkward with each other. Excellent moment to capitalize any random story you have and attempt to be cute. In order to avoid each other, each parent will both look at you and you can both be the center of attention and indulge your feeling of power over them. Bonus points: it makes them ignore your sibling who gets little attention as it is.