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Valentine’s flowers and husband thinks he is smart!!

WonderWoman00's picture

You guys can laugh or relate whichever lol my husband was adamant that I loved lilies for a flower.

I'm guessing he second guessed him self or wanted to make sure he was right because he did that stupid Facebook valentine quiz that everyone is doing. Not even sure if this is a question but he asked my favorite flowers and I said Daisys!!! Meanwhile I also said I bet you though lilies since that's all you get. He goes on about that lilies are so beautiful and that they are my favorite lol I literally tell him it's quite apparent you were not at our wedding and YOU love lilies.

So here comes the day that the flowers are supposed to be o come by delivery, but lo and behold he makes sure to deliver them himself cause he was in town AND hand me the card that's suppose to be IN the flowers. 

I was like "ahhh!! You did get it right!" Than he nonchalantly told me he was giving his 9 he old daughter flowers because it was time to start doing valentines. And I was like oh? Pretty sure I never got flowers til I was in high school/college! 

Guess what!!! He gave her lilies lmao!!! And not a small bouquet a HUGE one!!! 

Like seriously I'm so annoyed that after being together for 6 years he still can't get flowers right BUT then plays it off that he got me the right ones and thought his 9 year old daughter deserved a huge bouquet of lilies which he though I loved.

The lying about this has got me the most mad. He has never done anything for Valentine's for his daughter til now!



WonderWoman00's picture

I'm just here to vent lol but seriously who gives a 9 year old Valentine's flowers just because it's "time" lol yeah ok stfu

acef92's picture

OMG! noooooo, this is so ridiculous, what he was thinking? I would be so freaking pissed, did you tell him something about this? I can imagine his stupid response about, is my daughter and valentines day blabla. welcome to the club lol 

StrawberryPie's picture

He really does lillies!!  Wow, really committed to giving and getting liliies!  Wait, did you get lillies too??

tog redux's picture

I don't get this thing about men giving their daughters flowers for Valentine's Day. Is this common? Seems inappropriate to me. 

tog redux's picture

I could see giving her stuffed animal or a bag of candy, but what 9-year-old wants a bouquet of flowers?

acef92's picture

Im in the same freaking situation and after years I still don't get it, why do they do it? 

Smashytalk's picture

I don't see anything crazy wrong about it. My mom always has gotten me (36f) and my older sister flowers and candy for Valentine's Day, and now does for all of her grandchildren. I get that he doesn't remember what kind of flowers are your favorite, but at least he's thoughtful enough to get you some. 

thiscantbenormal's picture

Does everyone get equivalent bouquets?  Or does 1 kid get a significantly more extravagant bouquet than the rest?

OP's SO could be setting up a gift expectation competition between OP and his daughter. That the daughter will get more extravagant and showy gifts than this partner.  And it all happened because he had to backtrack on his purchase decision and do something with the wrong flower selection.

notarelative's picture

He was so sure that you loved lilies that he ordered them before he asked you about the flower. He couldn't cancel the order so he decided to give them to his daughter. 

He thought he was being smart, but not really. He has set daughter up to expect a large bouquet from him next year.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

What a deceitful a$$hole. And shame on him for putting his nine yo on the same level as his wife.

You need to school him, OP. Perhaps start giving him daisies for every special occasion?

Powerfamily's picture

As a non American I don't get buying children Valentine's gifts.

In the UK for the most part, you only start getting Valentine's gifts when your 14/15 years and in High School.   And not bought by parents.   It's certainly not something that is done as a school event.

DPW's picture

C'mon! Look in any seasonal aisle - there are age appropriate and relationship appropriate Valentine's gifts in there. Get a clue! 

Just another example of putting a child on an adult level and an inappropriate one too. 

tog redux's picture

Right. I'm not opposed to getting children a small gift on Valentine's Day - my mother always got us a little heart of chocolates or something she grabbed at the store, and said it was from her and my dad. 

That or a stuffed animal would be fine. But a bouquet of flowers is not appropriate (or probably wanted) by a young girl. And the same thing he gets his wife? Sheesh. And then let me guess, he always feels "in the middle" and has no idea why.  

DPW's picture

Same, I'd get a Snoopy chocolate heart or something like that.... appropriate. I can't recall ever getting $100 bouquet of flowers or edible underwear (lol). 


futurobrillante99's picture


I always got my kids a little box of Valentine's candy. I know I got my daughter flowers once but I think it was for her 13th birthday (13 roses or something).

I still send my kids Valentine's cards, but they are usually silly or cute. I sent my DS30 a crazy fold out card with a narwhal and a unicorn on it. He said it was EPIC! lmao I sent DS24 a card that had a unicorn that farts. Biggrin For my DD27, I think I sent a sweet card.

I also gave my SO a nice card and some beer. I still see it as a romantic holiday, primarily, but I will still send an expression of love to my kids.

I like sending letters and cards. It's my jam.

Stepdrama2020's picture

He is really starting late isnt he?


advice.only2's picture

Sounds to me like your DuH ordered you a big bouquet of lilies and then had to come up with a solution to his blunder when you pointed out you are a Daisy girl!

Personally I would have asked him "So next year when you screw up again and forget will SD be getting my cast off while you scramble to get me the correct flower?"

Stepdrama2020's picture

give flowers on V day.

Except if you have a mini wife, or a mini wife in training.

When our loves give the same damn gift, for any occassion, or worse spend more on the mini wife it just takes it away. Lessens the sentiment. Your man is not very good at being deceitful is he? What a door knob. 

Maybe in the future you can give your man the same gift as the paper boy . 

My ex DH always spoiled his mini lover daughter wife. It was so sweet. So glad I am no longer in their way. BM has the role now/again. I am sure on V day he gave the cow BM donuts and the snotty byatch got taken out for dinner.

Its sickening that mini wifes and incestual DH's are a thing. Man I wish there was a vaccine to eradicate this disease.

OP I feel your pain and anger. Its a shitty feeling that never goes away, sadly.

missgingersnap2021's picture

OK i had  to add my opinion on the whole DH's giving their daughters flowers: My DH has done it every year since we have met. Except one year I think he gave her a stuffed animal. I honestly dont know if he did anything before he was divorced. (If I had to guess I would have said no) but for him I think it started by accident and now he doesn't now how to stop it. Our 1st Valentines day he had got me a huge gorgeous bouquet but on the way form the florist to my apt it fell over and a lot of the flowers broke. He wanted to impress me so he went back to the florist and got me a brand new bouquet. He ended up giving his daughter the other bouquet (what was left of it). He didn't do it becuase she was a mini wife. She was 9 or 10 at the time. Well since then he has done soemthing for her every year, but I can tell he does it more out of obligation now. I think he feels like she will be hurt if he just stopped doing something. I really don't care beacause he always does twice for me (if not more).

This year he took me away Saturday night to a gorgeous Inn and upgraded to a suite. I have never stayed in such a huge beautiful place! (It even had 2 bathrooms). We had an amazing dinner and then on Sunday I got 2 dozen roses and a romantic card. Then he came home yesterday with 2 bunches of spray roses and tulips. He gives me a ton of flowers becuase he knows I love them so much. So do I care that he went over to BM's Saturday before we left to give SD16  seven roses and a balloon? Nope not at all! (And ironcially he had bought 8 roses but he knocked these over too in the truck and broke one!) :-) 

Oh and my favorite flowers include cream roses, lillies and  mixed bouquetsthat are mostly white flowers with lots of greenery. DH will never remember this. He has told me not to tell him what I like or don't like beucase it's too much stress for him to remember and you know what? I agree. I let him get me what he likes, when he feels like it. Soemtimes they are my least favorite flowers and other times he gets me pretty flowers. If wonderwoman00 hadn't said anything she would have gotten the lillies and the SD wouldnt have gotten anything. But now that he started giving her something she has to be prepared for him to do it every year.

Survivingstephell's picture

Little girls like flowers.  Ever been to a dance recital?  Here at least parents get them small bouquets.  Twenty years ago when my oldest 3 were going to birthday parties, mountains of gifts and parents complaining about all the stuff, I went to the florist near me and had them make up " the birthday bouquet ".   They took left over flowers at the end of day, wrapped them up pretty like and charges me 7 bucks.  The parents loved them (they died and got tossed) and the little girls adored them.  So, I  think it comes down to the size and type of flowers given. If they are equal or larger than what you give your lover, there's the problem.  

missgingersnap2021's picture

Excatly! Oh and I forgot to mention my dad always got me things on Vday. First stuffed animals, then chocolates and then a rose  when I was older and always a card. He stopped when I went off to college.I just think that some women jump on their DH's for everything. (I have been quitly of this in the past myself). I also believe DH will stop when and if SD ever gets a boyfriend. But who knows.