This really grinds my gears. DH tells kids they can have friends sleepover without asking me first.
We've had this fight before. I'm an introvert and it bugs me having skids friends in my house especially overnight. Some of them have no damn manners an ignore me as I'm just the stepmom. Anyway when DH asks I say yes 99 percent of the time. I only say no when there's a good reason. But I like to be asked. Since it's my house too.
Well DH calls yesterday afternoon. I couldn't pick up as I was in a conference, he texts immediately afterwards to tell me both SS13 and SD14 are having friends over that night. I had plans anyway last night so I didn't text back just came home later and went to sleep.
This AM DH wakes me up with this "why are you mad why aren't you talking to me?" BS. I told him why. First he tried to claim that he called me but I didn't pick up. I told him don't try that BS with me you texted the info immediately after, I doubt you arranged two sleep overs in the interim. He then said he had a lot of different demands on him and was just trying to "balance" them. Wrong answer. You do not "balance " your kids desires to have friends sleep over with your wife's desire to be respected as the other adult of the house.
I left early this AM and plan to be out most of the day. I'm half considering driving an hour to spend time at my family's beach house.
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OMG I sympathize with you on
OMG I sympathize with you on this one! I'm tired of coming home from work to have half the neighborhood kids hanging around my house... It feels like you're being pushed out of your own home because nobody ever asked you if it was ok, what are you chopped liver?
At least your DH texts you to tell you, I just show up and they are there! A little heads up would be nice at least so I can find something else to do somewhere else since my home is invaded.
Go to the shore house. But
Go to the shore house. But then again who the heck knows what you will come home to.
Guess what my skids did one time (they did not live with us).
They and their friends when young teens broke into our house. DH says it is not breaking in. I say it is because it was in the summer and they took a screen out of the window and entered without permission. We were both out of state but not together. My daughter's friends father was sitting outside of our house waiting for me to arrive and called and said that there are teens in your house as he saw the living room curtain move and could see them. I wasn't that far away and when I pulled up I saw who it was. I thought my head was going to pop off my body I was so angry. I didn't go in the house until after BM arrived and picked them up. I was afraid of what I would say. So she apparently dropped them off with out checking and just left them so they left themselves in. I have no clue what they were doing in the house or how long they had been in the house. I agree with Echo. That is what I would say, "let me think about it and I will get back to you." As mine got older they must have figured out what I was doing because then they just started calling DH first who can never say no.
I say head to the beach
I say head to the beach house. Relax and enjoy yourself and recharge your batteries. I'd also make sure that he got cleanup like Echo said.
They are still here. It's 4
They are still here. It's 4 pm in the damn afternoon. Don't these kids have homes?
If I had been asked I would have said yes. But I wasn't. This is about respect.
Part of me is trying to come
Part of me is trying to come up with a way that will let your DH know with no confusion that it wouldn't be worthwhile to ignore your needs in lieu of giving kids what they want. Something that will really drive home the fact that he'd think twice about doing it again.
I hate sleepovers. I hated
I hate sleepovers. I hated them when my kids were little and I hate them still to this day.
BabyVoice always wants to have a sleep over as soon as she makes a new friend. DH has learned to ask me before he says yes
Smart man
A friend each, spending the
A friend each, spending the night without even asking you first? Not right at all.
Once, when DH went to pick up SD for his weekend, he pulled up and SD and a friend jumped in the car. Didn't ask, just figured she'd bring a friend for the weekend. She figured wrong, DH made the friend get out of the car.
DH does this too, and I
DH does this too, and I understand, sometimes he can't or just doesn't remember to tell me. I make sure he is 100% entertaining them, feeding them, cleaning up after them and making sure they behave. I stay in our room, or I go out and do my own thing, I only come out if I want to.
At least u had a few mins
At least u had a few mins notice. We just got ambushed... kaos was woth a friend all aftetnoon, the mom said shed bring him home. Dh and i both half asleep on the couch with football on...
Kaos walks in and says "mary asked if billy and bobby could stay the night. I told her yes. And theyre here."
Fuuuuuck.... dh too sick to handle things correctly, then went off to bed. The only thing i could do was advise dh "I AM NOT FUCKING BABYSITTING. AND NOOOO FIRES."
FML... I hear u doll. Just "ill think about it", with a bit of notice to mentally adjust and accept. Dont throw that shit on me like that!!!!!! Ugh!!!!!
That's incredibly
That's incredibly inconsiderate. I don't understand how these men have procreated but can't figure out how to say, let me get back to you. And ask YOU, the one he sleeps with and beside.