What is effective co-parenting and how do you go about it?
A continuation from my last blog, I need some help as I am very new to all of this. I have only recently become a SM to 2 very young boys. I am still trying to find my feet with this as I haven't quite decided how much I woudl like to engage with my SC in their day to day life - although I am currently interacting with them frequently and we do get along. I have also made it very clear to DH about my other boundary - under NO circumstance do I wish to interact with BM. I just can't being myself to doing this for my own mental health.
So where does this leave DH in terms of co-parenting when I am semi-disengaged with his other family? What would constitute effective co-parenting between DH and BM and how would DH go about this in a meaningful way for the sake of his children. In what capacity does DH tag team with BM for the welfare of their children, while respecting my thoughts as his DW?
What does effective co-parenting look like while maintaining boundaries?
I'm finding being a SM quite tough - I can't seem to get a handle on the fact that I will never have a normal married life, as my DH comes with 2 young kids with different needs due to their 5 year age gap. I just wish that this marriage could be a priority, but I know that the reality is that the children will always have to come first in any given situation, at least until they are old enough to look after themselves. Of course I knew all of this while we were dating for 3 years but I do think once you get married, that's when it really hits you hard. Don't get me wrong, my DH has done everything in his power to show how much he values this marriage, even by moving, as I live further away and I feel so guilty about his sacrifices to make this marriage work.I know that this is my problem and I have to get over it!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!