Getting Braces
The wretched ex calls today and informs DH that she has made an appointment for SS to get braces. Not a huge deal, SD already has them, the EX is on state health insurance with the kids so there's no cost to us. We are fine with him getting them.
The problem is she wants to have them put on him the day before he comes to stay with us for a month. DH tells her she needs to reschedule it because we will likely be out of town the 1st week we have them and won't have a plan if something goes wrong. Also, we have signed all the kids up to play basketball this summer while they are here and we don't think it's a good idea to introduce braces on the teeth the day before basketball begins for fear of SS taking a ball or elbow to the mouth. It hurts bad enough without braces, it's tears your mouth to shreds with them!
She says "tough" she's not going to change the appointment. Even though she has him all of August, could do it after basketball but before school starts and it's only going to delay treatment for a month at he most. Her reason: because she just doesn't want to. NICE. Doesn't matter what's best for the kid or what will make him the most comfortable....only matters what SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO.
So, DH is considering his options. Papers say they are both joint managing conservators. They also say that both parents have the exclusive rights to make decisions regarding health, dental, vision care. I've suggested to DH that if he's really adamant that it NOT take place on the scheduled date that he call the orthodontist and reschedule the appointment on his own. Thoughts?
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Comments
I think it's ridiculous that
I think it's ridiculous that the ex is being a bitch. It would be so much easier to say "okay well I'd hate to see the kid take a basketball to the face and be in pain and have wasted all that money so we'll have them put on when he gets back. It's not like he's going to die from crooked teeth over the next month."
I don't understand people who can't go along to get along.
I disagree. Having braces
I disagree. Having braces HURTS. The child will be very uncomfortable for a few days. Not much fun on vacation! And the sports issue is a concern. So I agree that there is a problem. BM probably never had braces.
Maybe the answer is to tell
Maybe the answer is to tell her to cancel the appointment and "we'll" handle the new appointment and by the time he gets back to you he'll have railroad tracks in his mouth
I understand that each parent
I understand that each parent has a right to do as they wish with the kids on their time. However, when what you are doing with the kid on YOUR time is going to have a significant impact on the child and the other parent during the other parents time I think it is rude and disrepectfull not to consider working TOGETHER for the benefit of all involved.
To reverse the question. What's so difficult about changing the appointment date? I think that's the EASIEST solution. Certainly easier than having to find an out of town orthodontist in case of an emergency, dealing with a kid that's uncomfortable on a road trip and buying a mouth guard (that I'm sure his mother won't be willing to pay for).
Also, don't both parents need to consent agree on major medical decisions. It seems to me that DH has as much right to schedule or reschedule an ortho appointment for his kid.
I don't think this is a big
I don't think this is a big deal. Nothing really goes wrong. We have had two go through the braces. Much easier now than when we were kids. The biggest problem was the gums and using the wax. I would let this one go.
I second everyone else. You
I second everyone else. You may want to just let this go.
First let me clarify. I'm
First let me clarify. I'm not saying ANYTHING to BM. Not my place, not my kid. My DH deals with her and he has a problem with her scheduling that appointment on that day. If she's going to do whatever the heck she wants to do regardless of what we say about it then I don't know why she called to tell us in the first place. If it was a big enough deal that she felt she needed to tell us in advance (mainly because the kid is going to be in PAIN for the first 24-48 hours we have him) then I think she should have taken DH's feelings on the matter into consideration. Otherwise, what's the point of calling ahead? There's nothing stopping her from rescheduling the appointment. She doesn't work so it's not like she has to plan around taking a day off or anything like that.
I appreciate the feedback and opinions. I'm not sure DH will still think it's a big deal later, but he gets to make that final decision on how he wants to handle the whole thing.