This^^^^^^ definately do this.

Don't lose your temper, retain the upper hand and you DO have it because DH is unable to *manage* and address these situations without trying to drag you into them, when its convenient for him ofcourse.

My DH soon learnt that actually I had my own opinion on things, we could disagree on them and how to proceed in certain situations, but his disagreement of my view did NOT make that POV null and void. It just meant I would react x way, he would react Y way. I think many of these men think THEIR POV are the only which matters and should be followed because its THEIR kids. Nah, doesnt work that way. You don't apply that twisted logic to other family members or facets of your life, so where does he get off bossing you around?

In a weird way I enjoyed seeing my skid running rings around my DH, and I would always try and respond with a calm smile and say "well you wanted to do it x way remember? This is the result." Then changed the subject.

You see he is NOT asking for your help to resolve underlying issues, he just wants your help to enable him to continue with his weak parenting which is flying in the face of professional advice. Hardly seems worthwhile her attending a therapist if your DH is going to ignore. Oh well his funeral.

As for reading your journal! :jawdrop: Wow. How old IS he? Five?

I would be sure to go buy a NEW journal, make a subtle show of having purchased it, and then leave it lying around for tempation sakes so DH can read the only thing I had written:

Dear DH,
just wanted to say I know you thrive on invading my private thoughts and that you are regularly doing this by reading this journal.

So seeing as you are SOOOOO eager to know how my brain ticks, let me give you a heads up.

I think you are a weak arsed, snivelling parent who namby pamby's your quite capable daughter. You ignore her therapists advice, which need I remind you is provided in order to HELP SD, resolve any issues she has to develop into a functional, happy adult. I can only conclude you care more about how you are viewed by her, how much you are adored by her than her present and future welfare.

Quit dragging me into situations you feel you have lost control of, as you really dont want the kind of help I will bring. Just got to say though Newsflash: you never were in control. Your ruling emotions are guilty, desperation and fear.

My POV are just as valid as yours and if you refuse to listen to my, the therapists advice then you are on your own with this. You may enjoy this cycle of dysfunction, changing nothing within YOURSELF yet expecting a different outcome, but I don't. Come on get REAL.

I love you but I dont like how you manage sd and this situation, that causes me untold pain and frustration, but I guess you don't care about DOING anything to rectify that. Nope, instead you sneak and spy on my only venting space which is for ME alone.

Don't like what I have had to say? Tough. Its called consequences. You may have heard of them, share you can't apply them with your daughter.

Oh and btw the next time you dare read my journal behind my back, you might get a much much nastier surprise.

Toodles