You are here

The Return of Disney Dad

WalkOnBy's picture

Scene - my kitchen on Sunday morning. I am cleaning up the breakfast dishes. DH walks into the kitchen.

DH - so I was thinking about giving BabyVoice some chores to do in exchange for an allowance

Me - mmm hmmmm

DH - yeah, I was thinking about her loading and unloading the dishwasher every day and also getting all the garbage on Wednesdays nights, putting in the garbage cans and then taking out the trash Wednesday night.

Me - mmm hmmmm

DH - yeah and I will give her $20 a week

Me - WHAT????? $20 a week for THAT??

DH - yeah, too much??

Me - it's your money, do what you want.

DH - what did your kids do?

Me - not get an allowance. They did chores because they were members of the household.

DH - well, what do YOU think she should do?

Me - dust/vaccuum twice a week, dishwasher duties, garbage on Wednesdays, keep her room clean, maybe the bathroom.

DH - well, it's really about teaching her financial responsibility.

Me - mmm hmmmmm.

Yep - not my money, not my monkey, not my circus, not my problem

In other news - 5 more days until I am ASS free. At least I think it's 5 days. Am not entirely positive that DH has confirmed the Sunday arrival with Frank's mom.

Comments

Gimlet's picture

I remember the first time that DH mentioned that he gave his kids $$ for good grades, and my BD's eyes bugged out of her head and she looked at me like WTF mom. My philosophy was that kids should achieve the grades that they have the potential to achieve, and that was just expected. Not saying that works for every family, and BD would have begged to differ at the time of course Smile

What are your celebration plans, WOB? Do you think this stuff with ASS will affect the way your DH parents the other two?

WalkOnBy's picture

My celebration plans.....hmmmm, haven't thought about that yet. I think when he is gone, I will don some gloves and a mask and head in his room to begin throwing everything out.

Then I will redesign the space and turn it back into my office - which is that room's original purpose.

WalkOnBy's picture

the room has a laminate floor but I'm not taking any chances - I am ripping it up and laying new flooring down.

WalkOnBy's picture

lol - I will repaint, redo the floor and smudge the ever loving hell out of the room.

Then, a new daybed, a new desk, a couple of bookcases, my desk and a tv and it's good as new Smile

myfathersdaughter's picture

My DH has never set boundaries for his kids and they are a mess as adults and now he's starting on another generation. Children would never be paid for keeping their home clean and bringing home good grades! That is their responsibility and a test of their character. And this why I am looking at areas for relocation because this man doesn't get it!

hereiam's picture

Part of learning about financial responsibility, is EARNING the money.

Party at WOB's in 5 days!

Tuff Noogies's picture

i'll do your dishes and trash duty for 20/wk, wob!!!!

jeebus h. christmas your dh is crazy for that. an allowance should not be tied together with basic expectations of behavior. we had luke 17:10 drilled into us as kids - do what you need to do because you ought to, not for financial gain. dh has made this mistake with the boys, now whenever he asks them to do something they answer "how much are you gonna pay me?" i just shake my head.

myfathersdaughter's picture

Just thinking. Unplug all their electronic, take away their cell phones, time their shower usage and anything that adds to their creature comforts and charge them! Attach a chore to their comforts that parents pay for and see how that goes over with them. When my DH granddaughter came to live with us our electric and water bills tripled. Our food bill doubled. This girl has a cell on his plan that he pays $280 month for and she did absolutely no chores. She even quit a job that required her to work weekends because "I have a social life" and wanted to run around in DH car while he drove a rental.

At some point these 21st century kids will have to get a clue and parents will have to use tough love. My kids and I were so poor until I got my career off the ground that we were in a tough love situation because we were poor a a church mouse.

WalkOnBy's picture

Were they my kids, and were I engaged, neither of which is true, things would be different.

DH is free to do whatever he wants with his money }:)

Don't even get me started on the 45 minute showers BabyVoice takes.....

Aniki's picture

Fruity, I don't get it either. I shampoo/conditioner, wash my face with a special soap, and shave daily. In 15 minutes.

WalkOnBy's picture

I know, right? I did tell him that I assumed, that like in the real world, when she didn't do it, she wouldn't get paid and he said "of course" with a tone that said "why on EARTH would you say something like that? I am the best and most responsible parent ever???"

:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I am not sure how old BabyVoice is, but my DS10 and SD9 do more chores than that. And, they get paid $0. I figure that they live here and it is their job to help us keep this place running. We do allow them to do more complicated chores for money (like clean out the garage or clean/vaccum our cars) if they want to earn something extra...but normal household chores are everyone's responsiblity....even DD4 is starting to get chores.

WalkOnBy's picture

She will be 14 in August.

Like I said, it's DH's thing since I am disengaged and my money is now separate from his...

I told you what she would be doing if she were mine Smile

And, now, she wouldn't be getting paid....

Teas83's picture

My husband came up with the same stupid idea a few years ago: "When SD gets older we should start paying her to do some chores around the house."

I immediately shut it down and told him that the children WE have together are most certainly not going to get paid to do household chores, so SD will not be getting paid either. We both grew up in families where it was just expected that you contribute to the functioning of the household by picking up after yourself and whatnot.

WalkOnBy's picture

DH didn't have to do chores when he was a kid.

He also had to work (cutting lawns, snow removal, then a "real" job when he turned 15) if he wanted spending money.

We shall see how long it lasts, because you can bet your ASS that the first time I see a dishwasher that needs to be reloaded or unloaded or garbage cans not at the curb on the appropriate weekday, I will be letting DH know }:)

WalkOnBy's picture

I feel that chores are to teach kids how to be responsible for themselves and their environment.

We had chores when we were kids - there were four of us and we each had a room we were responsible for in the main area of the house. We also had to keep our rooms clean and do our own laundry. We weren't "taught" how to do these things, we watched/read the instructions on the bottle/used our own brains to figure things out.

I babysat for other people for money - the thought of my mother paying me to watch my younger siblings would have sent her right over the edge - lol!!

I also got a job at a fast food restaurant when I was 15 and have worked ever since.

BabyVoice has no commitment, no follow through and very little ability. It will be interesting to see how long it lasts - and I will be watching from the sidelines.

Gimlet's picture

You know how much I agree with you on this, WOB.

I wanted my BD to know how to take care of herself and her own home when she moved out. She knows how to cook, understands how to plan meals and grocery shop, and she's a good roommate too, because keeping a clean home is habit to her.

I started working at 14 at the local pool concession stand for $2 an hour under the table and worked my way up to lifeguard after getting old enough and paying for the classes. It was the best job ever.

And I do think it's OK to teach kids certain things or they learn the hard way. For example, dish soap is not the same as dishwasher soap Smile

Teas83's picture

I completely agree with you.

I grew up on a ranch where chores were not optional. My siblings and I were outside for an hour before we went to school and then again for a few hours when we got home from school, every day. There were cattle and sheep to feed as well as various other tasks that involved manual labour. At least one day every weekend was spent doing a bigger job, like fencing or branding cattle. I'm so thankful that I had this kind of upbringing because it made me a hard-working person.

One weekend that SD8 was with us, I had her do some light dusting because we had company coming for supper. I think it took her all of 10 minutes to do a few rooms. Later on that day I asked my husband to have her tidy her room before our guests arrived, and his response was, "But she's been cleaning ALL DAY." I couldn't even come up with a response because of how pathetic his line of thinking was.

WalkOnBy's picture

Preaching to the choir, Echo.

But, not my money, not my monkey and not my circus.

Monchichi's picture

I incentivise Polly for A's and consequence (deduct money) for lower marks. She has chores/ tasks/ daily requirements she gets NOTHING for. I don't pay a child for cleaning up their own mess, putting dishes in a dishwasher, feeding the pets, doing homework, prepping school lunch, emptying a bin.

I firmly believe in sharing the load.

However (that word we shouldn't use) if she washes our cars/ does garden work, then she can have pocket money.