OK, my husband and I moved in together two years ago this month. He had been separated from his "wife" for three years, but the kids had high hopes they would get back together as most kids do no matter how awful it is. He was her puppet. She controlled him and all of his money. I changed all that. HA, well some of it. He grew a pair and started standing up for himself and we went through the divorce process together and even filed bankruptcy for them. I put out a pretty penny to help get this done. Looking back I really should have told him to give me a call when all this was finished. My heart just doesn't listen. In this process we became engaged and the EX decided to fight the divorce all the way. Mind you, she had another man. The same man she left my husband for twice before! She thought she would get a lot more child support than the courts did. He had been paying her $700 a month for 3 girls plus their medical and dental insurance over $300 a month. She made more than him so she was very disappointed. Did everything in her power to destroy him. Didn't work really....she did turn his oldest away from me. Told her I was a cocaine addict! What?!?! Wow! Ok, she apparently thought we were out partying because she didn't see our car at home, but we were sound asleep in our bed. The car was in the shop. SO, the 14 year old (at the time) HATES me now. Laughs right in my face. Tells her father how terrible he is. Broke my heart. This man is one of the few men who actually LOVE his kids and wants them around as much as possible! OH the details of the abuse from the oldest and the EX that I'm leaving out! You just wouldn't believe it. The other two girls were doing a bit better getting used to me. They loved the extra attention their dad was giving them being that he was actually coming out of depression and him and I loved doing things with them and treating them special. One more thing...their mother is a filthy PIG! I've thought about calling CPS because of their nasty dirty house. Did I mention she rented a HUGE expensive house and bought an expensive car, but can't feed the girls or buy them ANY school clothes or supplies! NONE! :jawdrop: SO.....they come to our tiny little apartment and dirty it up right quick. Did I mention I have fibromyalgia? I can barely pick up after myself, let alone 3 dirty girls! Rules were established and they hated it for about 2 days. Still, it was a struggle each and every day. The oldest hardly comes around and is always asking for money. Her dad is heartbroken and doesn't give in to her pleas. Once she said (not ask) to go and buy her school shoes but she didn't want to go with him. He refused and said no shoes unless you come with and spend some time with me. I give them their space. So now, we are married (the oldest refused to be in pictures so he told her she won't be "in" the wedding) and things are getting better, but man, oh man do I get frustrated. The middle child I'm sure has ADD or ADHD and really needs counseling, the youngest is awesome, but acts like a baby (probably because she was ignored due to fighting, stressed out parents)and the oldest....well, you know. The middle child thinks she is hungry ALL THE TIME! Shoves food in her face literally and thinks it's so funny. She is SO obnoxious all the time and blames everything on anyone but herself. She is the laziest person I have ever known. At age 13 now, and ever since she was 11 she has been over 175 lbs. I know it could be worse, but OMG, calm down all ready. She is very entitled and has the middle child syndrome where she feels like daddy loves the older and younger one the best and he only "yells" at her. Makes me crazy. I feel for her though. I really wish I could do something...anything. I tell her father and he texts their mom, "Lauren needs counseling" Then she instantly gets a text from her mother saying, "What's wrong, your dad says you're mental". Really? I finally was able to drag them to the eye doctor to upgrade her prescription and get her contacts. Now if I could only get him to take them to the dentist and get their decaying teeth fixed. No joke, decaying! Why don't they care? Why do I care? It kills me to watch this. I can do NOTHING. The oldest (16 now) is hardly ever at home at night. Even on school nights. Her dad acts like "No one better ever touch my baby girl". Then he knows she has a bf and is now on birth control, but hasn't even asked to meet the bf!!!!!! He texts her mother that he is concerned and tells me that's all he can really do. OK, as a single mother most of my life, there's LOTS you can do! My girl cooked and cleaned and respected me. She still does at age 24. I admit, he has really gotten better since we met, but there is a lot of work to be done and frankly I'm beyond tired of "fixing" everything for everyone! Credit? Heck no! The kids want and want and want. They leave stuff a mess and what can I do? Counseling is now too expensive and I'm losing my mind. I wanted a place to vent and I hope this is the place. My phone is dying...where's my charger???? Not where it belongs...weird...not in the living room...not in the kitchen..."Honey (he's sleeping), where's my charger?" "Ask Lauren" Why would she have MY charger? Weird. Sure enough. In her room on the top bunk with her sleepover friend (WAY too much weight for the top bunk)I find MY charger. I have NO privacy. Seriously...none. Being single for so long I'm used to alone time, mani-pedi's, tanning beds, massage chairs, getting highlights/lowlights in my hair, traveling to Phoenix every other weekend to visit my father and friends. OH, what have I done? My toe nails look like they went through a meat grinder and my hair is grey. Grey? Pout. Is it worth it? Hmmmmmmmmmm........
I say yes. I love them to death and want what's best for all of us to be happy. I save up and get my hair done less often than I'd like, but they do drain my financially. Did I mention their father has the best heart, but NO idea how to be financially stable?
On the verge of a break down. Sigh...