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Conversations with DH regarding SD14...

Unfreakingreal's picture

Me: "Hey, it's the end of the 2nd quarter and you have yet to see ANY of SD14's report cards."
DH: "Yeah, I'm slacking, I'll get on that."

Me: "Hey, I know you follow SD on Instagram, you should find out what's up with the depressing posts."
DH: "yeah, I saw that, gonna have a chat with her."

Me: "Hey, you might wanna get on SD14 about her provocative pic on Instagram with her t-shirt raised to right below her bra line."
DH: "Yeah I saw that, she deleted it though."
Me: "No she didn't, it's still there."
DH: "Oh yeah? Ok I'll have a chat with her."

I give up. DH is a great guy but he is a lazy parent. I honestly think he just doesn't feel like doing the heavy lifting required to deal with a teenage daughter. It's sad cause his daughter doesn't have anyone really looking out for her. I mean, I do, but I honestly have taken a major step back and simply shrug my shoulders and keep it moving.
She's not my kid and I have enough parenting to do with my own kid to exert any energy on her.
I'm bracing myself, she's gonna be a real handful starting in 3, 2, 1…...

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DaizyDuke's picture

sounds like conversations at our house!

Me: "DH have you been drinking my wine coolers?"
DH: "No, I think SD (15 at the time)had a couple. I told her she could. She has no interest in drinking.
Me: "Um, where did you come up with that?"
DH: "well because she told me she has no interest in drinking"
Me: :?

Me: "DH did you see the letter that came from the school about SD16 failing 3 classes?"
DH: "Yes, I told her it's on her. What am I supposed to do?"
Me: :?

DH: "I have to go pick up SD16, the police just called, she is drunk at an underage party"
Me: "hmmmm I thought "she has no interest in drinking?"
DH: "Don't start, I have to trust her until she gives me reason not to"
Me: :?

I flat out told DH last week when we were talking about all of the SD crap that he was guilty of lazy parenting. I told him if BS5 ever does this shit that SD16 has done, there will be all kinds of consequences, no TV, no phone, door removed, no friends, I will stalk him, I will badger him, I will fly my helicopter so close to his head he will have a bald spot for a year... if that is what it takes

I don't get this shoulder shrugging, oh well attitude when it come to your CHILD!?! :?

Unfreakingreal's picture

LOL at the helicopter comment.
Yeah, I don't get it. BS17 received 2nd honors this quarter. FIRST TIME IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE his grades were good enough for ANY kind of honors. I said "That's great to hear, but you can do better."
BS17 just looked at me and was like "Wow mom, really?"
I said "YES, really. You raised your grades in 3 classes and dropped them slightly in the other 3. You should have been able to maintain the other 3 while raising those."
He just replied "Ok, I'll try for 1st honors next quarter." I said "You do that."

Unfreakingreal's picture

Well, he's already a GP to my GB so the name won't shock him too much. SD14 I THINK is still a V, but I'm sure she does other things she shouldn't be doing. I just feel that she's at an age where he should be paying closer attention. She spends ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT on the phone and he NEVER asks who she is speaking to. He never checks her smartphone, looks thru pics, NOTHING. It's like he has this blind trust which is a BIG mistake. Kids, much less TEENS, cannot be trusted.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Damn that is crazy. I guess it really is a woman's job to raise the kids huh cause from what I see, men really suck at it.

blending2012's picture

Unfreakingreal - you and I could be twinsies. One thing I see in this post that I am MORE than guilty of myself though is that we say we are "done" and have taken a "major step back" and yet are still pointing things out to DH.

The pattern is: we point out, the husbands minimize, we feel frustrated.

I'm really going to challenge myself these next few days to say NOTHING. Point out NOTHING.

This has been especially hard for me the past few days because SD13 takes dishes to her room (when there is a no food allowed in bedrooms rule) and then hides the dirty dishes under her bed. Do you know how many times I've wanted to tell DH???????????? But I know if I do he'll mildly tell her she shouldn't break a rule and I will feel frustrated. I think the more we point things out, they more they go into defense mode. So my goal is to keep my friggin' mouth SHUT until idiot DH notices we have no damn bowls or cups left.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Honestly, I don't get frustrated. I don't feel much about it all actually. I point things out and if he chooses to do nothing, well at least I warned him that the train was coming before he gets splattered all over the tracks.
SD doesn't disobey me or break too many rules. She comes over EOW, while she is at the house, she makes a mess but before she leaves, she picks it up. She does things that annoy me but nothing that really makes my wheels spin since I am entertained with GB, I really don't pay too much mind to what she's up to. It's sad that he can't see that she needs some major monitoring but at the end of the day, that's on him and his BM.

zerostepdrama's picture

Ha ha this is my DH. (and me, when I cared)

I call DH a half ass parent. He parents when he wants to and on the things that he wants to. He is doing a half ass job at it.

Not sure why they chose to ignore the very obvious? Maybe they dont want to admit the flaws that we point out in their kids?

Unfreakingreal's picture

It's really weird, I don't get it. The funny thing is that he has NO PROBLEM pointing things out to me about my BS17. Meanwhile, my son (aside from making a baby 10 years before his time) is actually a pretty decent kid!
I actually have to laugh sometimes because I have to literally bite my tongue to avoid saying something really mean and nasty.

Jsmom's picture

I will never understand it. I always asked have you looked at Twitter today. No it is easier not to see it.