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On top of everthing else, this is what makes me so unhappy and upset all the time.

namaste123's picture

My ss complains over everything. Is this typical for the age, or is this a problem. instead of saying somethings I may regret, i walk away fumimg mad.

We usually give SS's lunch around 12:30 SS immediately chimes in and in a smartass tone says "Yeah, looks like Namaste123 hasn't made US lunch yet!!!!"

I was so angry, that I said nothing since I had nothing nice to say.

BF immediately says "Hey, I'm making you lunch (which i told him I would do before we left again to go somewhere at 1pm), and Namaste123 is not your maid!"

I know he tried, but...

Comments

namaste123's picture

What would the punishment be had how did you explain that it was unacceptable and why. we too have had the positive attitude talk with him, but he doesn't get it. After BF had the positive talk and negative attitude talk with him, he just kept being the same way right after. BF accidently screamed at him because he couldn't believe that he had just explained to this child that it was not right and to stop it, and he just kept right on doing it. the only punishment we have really is time out, what would work with a 7 yearold

namaste123's picture

In school now, only have a year to go, so as soon as I'm done I can simply walk away if this continues or gets worse. I just need to know how to deal with it right now so I can make it through. BF gets more and more frustrated with their behavior as time goes on, I'm hoping that he can get it together, but if not I have no ties and I am free to go.

Pantera's picture

I disengaged and the negative attitude stopped. SS9 now realizes I don't have to do anything for him at all.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

GiGi222's picture

I actually had to punish my own son because of it. It makes you feel like all your effort and good intentions are for nothing. Its the most frustrating thing. I call my son a nag(not to his face), he actually reminds of my mom, ugh, lol.

namaste123's picture

I wonder if explaining to him that it's ok to say something if you have a true complaint/problem/question example:

I am complaining/questioning/nagging because:

You feel left out, ignored, feelings hurt ect. (then it's understandable)

But it is NOT ok to complain/question/nag because:

you were told you couldn't watch t.v. and you wanted to, you were told no snacks because we are getting ready to eat dinner and you wanted one, that you were told that children are not allowed in our bedroom, not liking the dinner it took me forever to prepare, or that you lunch is not ready,ect. (this is just an unacceptable)

marina2000's picture

I know your BF tried and thats pretty cool, but you could be the smart ass too but in a nice way so they don't know if you are taking the P*** or not. In a really sweet voice say something like 'well if you can't wait and you're that hungry - you know the bread and butter is honey' then just walk out with a smile on your face - go to the nearest bedroom and kick the living S*** out of the nearest pillow! Smile

Mommyto1Stepto2's picture

How old is your ss? My SS12 is the same way - I get so frustrated and annoyed. Of course my DH says nothing which then tells my ss that his behavior is acceptable. Ugh! Come on parents - step up already!!! I am trying to hopefully establish some rules for our house and this will be #1 - No whining or complaining!!

Denial's picture

Wait until they are 16! Oh, how much fun we've had. THANK GOD - my DH finally agreed to counseling.

SS only comes over once in a while now and when he does, he gets taken home early if the "disrespect" is offensive enough, or if he gives backtalk.

My DH finally realized he still needed to be a Dad, not a buddy. I just wish BM would realize the same thing. For some reason, DH and I are the bad guys because we don't tolerate throwing things, spitting on things, pushing our elderly dog around, or oh wait - we don't condone 16 yr old boys smoking and selling pot. I guess when he got busted, we should have been more sympathetic, poor baby!