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Just stopping by to say hi....

Unfreakingreal's picture

Ladies, I know I haven't been around for a while but I just logged on and saw a few private messages asking how I was. Thanks for checking on me, I truly appreciate it. I started a new job in September and needless to say playing around on ST or FB, or any playing around at all, is no longer possible. I finally had the nerve to quit that job that was making me absolutely miserable and found a job 8 miles away from home. Took a chunky pay cut but with what I'm saving in gas, tolls and time (and NY taxes) it basically evened out almost to the penny. GB is growing beautifully. She is 14 months old now and is the light of my life. Her mother is still an absolute psycho and I don't see that getting better anytime soon or ever for that matter. GB is always sick. She is presently on day 9 in the hospital for something that the doctors haven't figured out yet. I am beginning to suspect Munchausen by Proxy but am waiting for her blood work to come back. BS17 comes home on weekends to see his daughter. We finally have a court order in place and we get her EOW and holidays have been split smack down the middle, along with a few addendums in there about tax filings, pick ups at the police station and zero contact between BM and BS for the next 3 years. Lots has happened, not sure whether or not I'll continue to update here because I really hardly have the time now and because I think a lot of my buddies have left this site. I did however feel that I wanted to touch base and let those of you that PMed me know that we are ok, things are as well as they can be and now that I'm not commuting anymore, my stress levels have dropped significantly. Oh,... Yeah, SS23 moved back in because he broke up with his GF in OR and had nowhere to go. He apologized for being such a dick last time around, I laid down some serious ground rules and gave him 1 year to get his shit together and get the fuck outta my house. He's been here 3 weeks, so far, no major issues. Already has 2 jobs and is planning his exit. Besides that, everything is moving along. I still hate psycho BM but it's whatever, I refuse to catch a case over this psycho little cunt. Hope everyone is well.

Comments

Unfreakingreal's picture

That's the thing, we don't know. Some virus or infection but they can't find it. Waiting for blood results.

Tuff Noogies's picture

wow things have changed a lot for you in the last few months!

i'm glad about the upcoming changes in the custody order. you guys tried all you could to be civil. guess she screwed herself over now!!! bwhaahahaaa

Smile i'm happy for you!

Unfreakingreal's picture

It's calmed down the bullshit but not by much. She's crazy & will never stop being crazy. Is actually kinda scary.

WalkOnBy's picture

Ugh - well at least it's a little calmer...

I swear, we should round up all these crazy broads and put them on an island somewhere!!!

moeilijk's picture

I'm really glad you came back to update. Not so many people left - most were reincarnated - but the ones that are gone were frequent posters/commenters.

Great decision to change jobs. Seems like that has a huge positive impact, giving you mental space to deal with what's important in your personal life.

Glad things are going well with BS. And best wishes for a speedy recovery (right out of BM's custody) for GB.

14 months is such a fun age. They start really 'symbolizing' what they want to say, either with a word or a gesture that is suddenly MEANINGFUL!

Unfreakingreal's picture

Moellijk - not having the commute has definitely made an impact and has definitely given me the room to breathe and focus on the more important things going on in my life. Saturday, at the hospital, I took a bag of goodies to try and get GB to eat something and she looked in the bag and kept saying "nana, nana" I realized she was pointing at the BANANA!!!!! My heart sang the happiest dance ever at that moment. Thanks for your well wishes.

thinkthrice's picture

HI!! Thanks for the update~!!!! And yes, NYS does SUCK (you are punished for how successful, sadly)

Good to hear about the GB and hope she gets well quickly!

Unfreakingreal's picture

Maxwell09 - He is LOVING college. Which is a huge relief because the first week after he arrived, he called me crying that he wanted to come home. Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to settle in and he is now loving the experience.

BettyRay's picture

Good to hear things are going well for you. Sorry your GB is sick - that's a bummer.

How is your son doing at college?

My SS18 is doing okay, grades will tell the tale and those are posted around Thanksgiving. It has been interesting to see and support DH through this transition.

I must admit I have been enjoying visitation much more with just SS13. I also enjoy the extra couple time with DH Smile

~BettyRay

Unfreakingreal's picture

BS is doing ok at school. We get grades around Thanksgiving so God willing he is doing what he is supposed to be doing and not fucking around too much. I don't expect straight A's, he's never been a studious child but as long as he gets his B's and C's I'll be satisfied.
I was loving the extra time with DH until SS23 moved back in. For now, things haven't been too bad, but I still wish he didn't have to come back.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I am so glad you updated. When the school year started I thought about you and your son and I wondered how things were going. It sounds like he is still stepping up and being a great father. Good to hear you got a CO - that should makes things a little easier.

How are things with your SD? Wasn't there a possibility she was going to move in? Happy that your stress level is down.

Unfreakingreal's picture

He is doing the best he can, he does love his baby girl and he misses her when he's at school. But he knows that the main focus is getting a degree so he CAN take care of her eventually. Right now, he's paying $30.00 a week in CS, which of course, I am the one making the payments because he has no income. But now I no longer help pay for anything for GB unless it's for OUR house. She wanted CS, she got it, but she only gets that and not a penny more. No diapers, no groceries, no clothes. NADA.
SD15 is in HS and is NOT moving in, THANK GOD. Instead I got SS23. Never a dull moment.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Thanks Tommar24365. She's actually just been discharged, but we still don't know what was wrong.

Indigo's picture

I've followed you for quite awhile thinking "there but for the Grace ..." you have unwittingly been a role-model. The effort of trying so hard to balance accountability with your young son, encouraging his future, maintaining a pleasant relationship with the youngish BM-GB .. coping w/crazy un-laws.

Sorry on my phone & not proficient. Thanks for update. Smooch the GB, hug your boy and invest in some fire-retardant to deal w/the rest

Unfreakingreal's picture

Nothing pleasant about my relationship with BM. I hate her and she knows it. In the meantime, I am there for my GB and nothing more. The help and support I gave the BM is no longer existing.

Indigo's picture

Yeah, but I remember when you were trying so hard to find good, to encourage her to be a great parent.

In my own mind, I wanted to jump up and down and shriek: yes, but she's a predator and comes from a dysfunctional with a capital "D" family and is trying to tear down your son and keep you from your GBG.

However, you kept trying. You kept trying for a peaceful situation even after court visits. Kudos. You did try. That is what I remember about you.

You're there for your son, for your GB and your family. Focus on the positive and please keep touching base with us.

z3girl's picture

Thanks for the update. Congrats on the job and hope GB gets better soon. Hope your BS is doing well in college!

Unfreakingreal's picture

z3girl - thank you. he's hanging in there! I know he struggles but he'll be ok. College isn't going to be easy for him, but hopefully football will keep him in line. If his grades suck, he can't play and he knows that.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Congrats on your new job and happy to hear you have a plan in place for seeing grandbaby on a regular basis. That's fantastic. And I hope GB is fine. Let us know about the hospital update.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Yes, thankfully we get GB EOW now. And there is nothing BM can do about it. Happy that we get our time with her with no interruptions. It was long overdue.

Indigo's picture

Whoo-hoo ! I hadn't read this far on this thread. Oh, blessings to the little one, she has your family for EOW and your son can see her without drama/trauma. You made my night when I read this.